Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Red flags in soon to be 12 month old?

36 replies

VillageFete · 07/03/2020 17:53

Hi,

Hoping i’m just being overly anxious here as I’ve suffered with anxiety since DS was born. He’s almost 12 months old and is happy, lots of smiles, good eye contact and babbles loads. Rarely says mama (But has done) Says dada and baba regularly, makes lots of sounds and mimics some actions that I do. He claps hands and has done for a couple of months but he doesn’t wave, he also rarely points, but he will reach out for something if he wants it.

My concern is that he doesn’t wave at all and he rarely points. He does usually respond to his name, but yesterday he had a settling in session at nursery and when I collected him he was sitting on his key worker’s knee playing with something. I shouted him twice and he didn’t look up. No response. It just didn’t sit right with me. Shouldn’t he have responded after not seeing me for an hour and being in a strange environment?

Today, i’ve tried to get his attention by calling his name multiple different times throughout the day. Sometimes he will look around at me and smile, other times he’ll ignore me. Is this a red flag? Same with the no waving?

Also, when laying him down to change his nappy he will flap. Same when he wakes from a nap in his crib and I come in to the room. It’s like he’s excited, but looking online it seems flapping can be a red flag?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

reginafelangee · 07/03/2020 18:00

Red flag for what

He sounds like a perfectly normal 12 month old. If you have concerns though chat to your HV.

Marlena1 · 07/03/2020 18:01

I'm no expert OP but I have a 16 month old. Nothing in your post stands out to me as a red flag or worrying behaviour for your son's age.

redteleflown · 07/03/2020 18:03

Hearing test ASAP, op. My dc was similar and it turns out he could hardly hear us, after 3 failed hearing tests.

Health visitor booked him in for a hearing test through the hospital and it came through pretty quickly I think.

He did go on to have back to back, quite serious ear infections accompanied with glue ear, thankfully corrected with surgery, eventually. However it has greatly affected his development, but we are slowly getting there.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

1 year olds Families General parenting

Original poster

VillageFete · 07/03/2020 18:04

Thank you for your responses.

A red flag that shows a delay with development, or that points towards him being on the spectrum in some capacity.

OP posts:

Original poster

VillageFete · 07/03/2020 18:06

@redteleflown I’m glad to hear you are making progress. How worrying.
I do think his hearing is ok though. The minute I put TV on he turns towards it straight away. Any loud noise and he turns straight towards were it came from.

OP posts:

redteleflown · 07/03/2020 18:07

Just to add that I thought the hearing test was ott as when we were at home he often did respond to his name and loud noises etc, so I was shocked to be told that both ears were full of fluid and he failed the tests. Definitely worth checking out.

DivGirl · 07/03/2020 18:08

Sounds completely normal to me. If worried speak to your HV, she can also point you in the right direction for help with anxiety.

wowfudge · 07/03/2020 18:11

How noisy was it when you went to pick him up and he didn't hear you? When you put the TV on, has it previously been quiet?

It's more likely to be to do with his hearing or distractions. The fact that his behaviour in responding to you varies makes me think you are worrying unnecessarily. If he was always failing to respond to you that would point to something else I think.

RhymingRabbit3 · 07/03/2020 18:13

Way too early to start worrying that he might have ASD (I assume that's what your concerned about?). He might need a hearing test if he doesn't seem to respond to his name.

Some children just dont do certain things. Some 12mo dont crawl yet. Some 12mo dont sleep through the night yet. Some 12mo dont wave yet. It's not a red flag.

AlternativePerspective · 07/03/2020 18:13

Not sure why people always think about a child “being on the spectrum?”

My immediate thought was that you need to get his hearing checked. Hearing impairment too has a spectrum, so not everyone who is classed as hearing impaired will be totally deaf, so it is worth getting checked out.

DesLynamsMoustache · 07/03/2020 18:22

Sounds normal to me too. DD flaps when excited. My niece did the same. Also she responds to her name most of the time but when she's engrossed in something or otherwise distracted then she doesn't.

You can always get his hearing checked but IME selective listening is pretty common when they've got lots going on! If I call her and mention that I've got milk or food, there's a 100% response rate but if I call her name when she's busy doing something, it can take a couple of goes before she will respond.

DesLynamsMoustache · 07/03/2020 18:24

(She can hear a packet of biscuits being opened from the other end of the house, though!)

Original poster

VillageFete · 07/03/2020 19:36

Thank you everyone.

We’ve had a rocky road with him. It took me 5 years and lots of heartache to conceive him and I definitely think that plays a part in me always feeling anxious - I feel it’s all too good to be true. He also had feeding issues, struggled to gain weight and was hospitalised at one point - again, this sent my anxiety in to over drive (He’s absolutely thriving now and a marvellous eater - he just hated milk of any kind)

When I collected him from nursery it was busy and fairly noisy - lots going on. But something didn’t sit right with me that he didn’t respond to me the first couple of times, particularly because he was in a strange environment - I thought he would have responded immediately. I really hope I’m just over reacting.

OP posts:

crustycrab · 07/03/2020 19:48

Sounds perfectly normal to me. In an environment like nursery I'd think him less likely to notice/respond to you. Too much else going on.

Bunnybigears · 07/03/2020 19:53

Yes get his hearing checked. When my kids were at nursery at that age and even older I could be in the room talking to their key worker for a good 5 minutes before they noticed me. The fact he was sitting happily on his key workers knee is a positive thing.

Marcipex · 07/03/2020 19:55

Do get his hearing checked.
We had a nursery child with 100% hearing loss. Zero hearing. Her inner ears had never formed. She too would turn towards the tv, look up at planes etc as she was picking up on tiny visual cues from other people.

rottiemum88 · 07/03/2020 19:56

something didn’t sit right with me that he didn’t respond to me the first couple of times, particularly because he was in a strange environment - I thought he would have responded immediately

Has it not occurred to you OP that his reaction to being in that strange environment could have been confusion/shock? You left him with strange people he'd never met before and he had to find a way to cope/adjust to the situation. There is no "normal" reaction the first time he has to do that, nor for how he should have reacted at seeing you again when you went back to collect him.

Original poster

VillageFete · 07/03/2020 19:57

Thank you everyone. Regarding hearing, is this even though he passed the hearing assessment as a baby?

OP posts:

Bunnybigears · 07/03/2020 19:58

Yes he could have developed glue ear since.

Original poster

VillageFete · 07/03/2020 19:59

@rottiemum88 That’s a valid point, actually. I never thought of it that way. It’s just that he occasionally doesn’t respond to his name at home too, although it’s always when he’s watching TV or engrossed in toys.

OP posts:

Fruitteatime · 07/03/2020 20:02

I have no idea regarding if they red flags but my 17 month old is rarely phased when I leave him or when I pick him up. He's been left at various creches (for courses) and with Dad and Nan and he often doesn't respond when I come back even after he has seen or heard me. I am do far putting it down to his easy going character and hoping it's not lack of attachment

MrsHardbroom · 07/03/2020 20:04

Hello, just responding as my fertility history is similar to yours and I had similar anxieties once DD was born. It's like you can't believe you finally got lucky and so something is bound to come along and spoil it. For me, it took a couple of years to finally accept that all was fine. I think I'd have done it sooner (and better enjoyed some lovely times with her as a baby) if I'd sought help because actually, I don't think these feelings are that uncommon in women who have struggled to get/stay pregnant. Maybe have a chat with your GP both did reassurance and to explore your own feelings around this.

Serenschintte · 07/03/2020 20:05

Ds used to flap a lot. Particularly when agitated when a toddler.
Hearing in the other hand might be worth checking for glue ear. They use a little measuring ear thing to measure the fluid. Glue ear can affect language acquisition so worth having it checked.

Original poster

VillageFete · 07/03/2020 20:10

Thanks everyone. I massively appreciate the advice and will take it on board.

Probably a stupid question - Would I just take him to the GP to look for glue ear? I have a wonderful GP who has looked after both of us when we needed her. She was with me all through my fertility struggles and is being so supportive whilst I venture the IVF road again next month.

OP posts:

BrokenLink · 07/03/2020 20:16

You could ask your health visitor for an Ages and Stages developmental assessment and a referral to audiology. They should be happy to do this based on this history.

Flip

1 2