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Original poster

Son thinks this is abuse - seriously

52 replies

justilou1 · 03/03/2020 11:31

I made a meal containing aubergine, mushrooms and pumpkin. (How very dare I, right?) He quite enjoyed it until he noticed. (He’s 13, btw...) He started telling me that it was abusive expecting him to eat a meal with ALL of these disgusting veggies in it, and I dared to laugh! Massive mantrum with bowl-slamming ensued. (Can guarantee that this wouldn’t have happened if his Dad wasn’t visiting his own father up at the hospital...)
So.... what is this really? Man of the house control/dick-swinging crap? (Suspect so...). I’ve noticed a bit of this lately, and I want to deal with this myself and not pass it off to his father to deal with. It seems like that would defeat the purpose.

OP posts:
picklemewalnuts · 03/03/2020 11:40

Stay really calm and say you dont expect him to eat it. You do expect him to behave politely at the table, though.

If he doesnt want to eat it he can make himself some toast or cereal.

We have a long running disagreement about aubergine mushroom and corguette. I try not to put too much of the three in, so he can push them to one side and eat the rest. As time has gone on hes been less careful about diseccting his dinner.

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 03/03/2020 11:40

Oh dear....tell him he'll go hungry if he doesn't eat it (or is that abuse as well?) I actually thought this was light-hearted! Is he normally fussy?

Original poster
justilou1 · 03/03/2020 11:42

I’m thinking that it may reappear for breakfast and lunch. Spoilt little twerp. He’s thirteen, not three.

OP posts:
picklemewalnuts · 03/03/2020 11:42

Don't enter into power play, especially if he wants to. Suggest some grated cheese on top to make it tastier while he gets used to the unfamiliar flavours. Also mention that our palate gets more sophisticated with age and you thought he was old enough to appreciate it.

Original poster
justilou1 · 03/03/2020 11:43

No, he’s not fussy. I think this is all about control. He has two sisters and even the dog’s a girl. If his dad was here, this would have been inhaled and he would have used his best table manners. He’s being a little shit for some reason.

OP posts:
picklemewalnuts · 03/03/2020 11:43

Steady on. Teenage brains are spiralling around, just like toddler brains. Dont get angry, you'll just add to the problem.

picklemewalnuts · 03/03/2020 11:44

Insecure and anxious because his dad's away?

LochJessMonster · 03/03/2020 11:47

Well then he goes hungry...

IceColdCat · 03/03/2020 11:47

I don't think this is a "man of the house control/dick-swinging" thing - it's just a teenage thing. I have teen / pre-teen DC and my DD would be equally as likely to do this as my DS. They all tend to trot out the "this is abuse" line too. Sigh.

Agree with the advice to stay calm and don't get angry. He can have toast or cereal if he really dislikes it.

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 03/03/2020 11:51

Also...he enjoyed it until he realised there were lots of veggies in it? It can't have tasted disgusting then!

blackcat86 · 03/03/2020 11:53

It'll be the hormones going. Everything is awful, you're horrible, and he knows it all Wink. I found getting DSS involved in meal prep helped when he started moaning about food. Even meal planning for the week together is a good place to start as it forces compromise rather than teenagers stropping to get their way.

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 03/03/2020 11:55

I may be labelled as a meanie here but when my stepson complained about something I'd cooked ages ago I said to him 'I think you mean thankyou for spending an hour of your time cooking something healthy from scratch for us to eat.' Don't think he's complained since.

MrsTidyHouse · 03/03/2020 11:56

Is DS worried about his grandfather, and can’t put it into words?

userxx · 03/03/2020 11:59

mantrum

Love this!

ShesGotBetteDavisEyes · 03/03/2020 12:05

My dd14 was getting into the habit of “critiquing” the meals I make. I told her she is very welcome to take over the shopping/cooking of a meal for 6 people every day if she likes...
She seems a bit quieter at mealtimes now!

OchAyeThaNoo · 03/03/2020 12:13

Ha ha! I am not a hugely picky eater but out of all the things you could possibly pick I would say Aubergine, Mushrooms and Pumpkin are equally the work of the devil. I don't know if I'd call it abuse but I think that particular dish would make me weep GrinConfused

Hoppinggreen · 03/03/2020 12:16

The tantrum is not on but why out 3 of the slimiest things known to man (that aren’t actually Gastropods) in one dish?
I love mushrooms and Aubergines but together and with pumpkin too. Yuk

OchAyeThaNoo · 03/03/2020 12:17

But seriously, your DS has shown appalling manners and would be severely reprimanded with lots of consequences if it were my son.
There is no "wait til your dad gets home" nonsense in my house. I am the one you obey here and bad manners and verbal abuse isn't tolerated.

puds11 · 03/03/2020 12:18

Don’t cook for him. At 13 he can cook for himself. Or he can eat what you put in front of him, thank you for it and offer to wash up.

Nonnymum · 03/03/2020 12:23

It sounds like typical 13 year old behaviour to me. It was funny and I would probably have laughed too but 13 year olds don't like being laughed at. They take everything very seriously and his feelings have been hurt as he probably thinks you are ignoring how he feels and have trivked him . I have a very clear memory of arguing with my mother and shouting at her for treating me as a child when I was that age. Of course I was a child but I felt I was grown up. His hormones will be raging and he is probably now embarrassed about how he behaved I would just carry on as normal and don't mention it.
Re food if he doesn't like it he doesn't have to eat it but tell him sorry that is what you are having

Nonnymum · 03/03/2020 12:26

i’m thinking that it may reappear for breakfast and lunch.
Please don't do this it will only turn it into a bigger thing than it is.

DingleberryRose · 03/03/2020 12:29

Being a teenager is difficult. They get emotional over stupid shit but it feels important to them at the time. Laughing is pretty mean and I think in this case it escalated things. You could validate his feelings at the same time as explaining his behaviour isn’t appropriate.

dottiedodah · 03/03/2020 12:56

TBH I think he is rude banging his bowl down and making a scene .However All those veggies together is a lot and maybe aubergines not on a 13 year olds radar! He should behave properly whether DF is there or not though .

mrsmuddlepies · 03/03/2020 13:05

You sound as if you don't like him much. Everyone is allowed not to eat things they dislike. I know an awful lot of fussy girls (and women). I would never make their sex a reason for them refusing to eat something. I would offer them the opportunity to make toast instead.
It doesn't sound a very appealing dish.
I don't bring genitals into food either. Its a bit weird to suggest that their sex has a bearing on what they like or don't like.
You sound very harsh.

userxx · 03/03/2020 13:13

Everyone is allowed not to eat things they dislike.

You've missed the point - he was enjoing it!

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