Help! Six weeks old still nurses all the time, crying lots, refuses to sleep alone.

[Lombriz]

It's been tough, but as everyone has been telling me things get easier this has kept me afloat, but we are now 6 weeks and I don't see any improvement. LO cries a lot, her happy moments don't last longer than 20 min. The only thing that soothes her is the breast, so Im breastfeeding most of the day and night. She doesn't take dummy or bottle (we've tried several). Gaining weight well and pooing and weeing (although pooing has slowed).

Sleeping is tough: only falls asleep while BF, day naps are on me and she often ends up in our bed at night (wakes up every hour or two at night).

I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I'm so sleep deprived and exhausted. Amy advice ?

Maybe wind? Maybe needs to see a doctor? Maybe get a baby carrier and carry baby around more?? Breast fed? Or bottle fed - change the milk supply?

You are doing NOTHING wrong. Your baby wakes and cries for sustenance and comfort and you are providing both.
Mine is now a year old, but is really poorly. She's behaving like a newborn again, sleeping, crying and feeding from me (lots all appetite for food). Sending solidarity from my sofa to yours.

colic? reflux? i would say a trip to the doctors anyway if her poo has slowed. she could have a blockage or something.

Sore bottom?

A 6 week old baby is still so so so young and tiny. Don't expect any more than you are currently getting. They are crying because they need you. Rest when you can, day or night, and let your partner take care of you, if you have one.

The it gets better stuff I find is actually around 3.

Two hour wakings are completely normal and even one hour is good when cluster feeding can kick in. Which is around now.

I know it can seem never ending but it will calm down.
Safely bed share and get as much sleep as you can.

I've had and currently got a bottle refuser.
It's so stressful and soul destroying. Nothing worked and at 3 my daughter has never used a bottle. Not even once. And that is not through lack of trying.

This is completely, utterly normal. You're doing nothing wrong at all. I know it's exhausting, but it's really, really normal. (It is also normal for bf babies to poo less frequently after the first few weeks - I've heard of some going for 10 days, though mine were always daily pooers).

Make sure your bed is set up for safe co-sleeping (no duvets/pillows near where she sleeps, good flat mattress, no danger of falls, room not too hot, no smokers in the bed). Perhaps get a bedside cot if you haven't already.

That all sounds horribly normal for a 6 week old, things do settle down honestly they do. I found the first 6-8 weeks the toughest then they started to settle, have you read up on the fourth trimester? It's a huge adjustment for babies, from tucked up safe and warm, inside of you they are thrown into a loud, bright, noisy world. Do you swaddle her? A sling might be a good investment if you haven't tried one, see if you have a sling library near you.

I promise it will get better OP, but maybe nearer 12 weeks. Sending you strength, this is so tough!

Thank you all!

@Discodisco9, yes, she's got wind, I burp her lots, do massage for wind, tiger in the tree hold. GP said she's good, most likely just normal baby digestive problems (I asked about gripe water, and gp said it's more for me than for her - to make me feel like I'm doing something).

@bloodywhitecat, yes, tried swaddling - she hates it! I still do it every night (although not for day naps), but she manages to wriggle her hands out. So often I just unswaddle her half way through the night. She also hates sling, but babybjorn sometimes works - she would sleep in it when we are outside.

Completely normal! Even the slowing down of BMs.

6 weeks is teeny tiny - we are the only mammals who are so desperate to have our little babies sleep away from us.

You're doing nothing wrong. Make sure you're set up for safe cosleeping, consider a bedside crib, and try to enjoy it. Everything is a phase for the first few months.

Definitely not doing anything wrong - all very normal as others have said, and although that doesn’t make it any easier, it will hopefully help to manage your expectations and remove any sense that you are doing anything wrong. Classic fourth trimester behaviour in my experience, and whilst it will get easier, it won’t happen overnight.

Have you tried white noise?

You’re not doing anything wrong - you just have a very tiny baby still, even though it feels like an eternity at this point to you! I remember that feeling of ‘it’s been forever, how is this not working yet?’ But honestly, it’s very early days.

I promise you, it will get better... but it might be a little while yet. Be kind to yourself as much as you can and don’t fret that it’s your fault or you’re doing something wrong. You aren’t!

Persist with the sling if you can, DS dislikes it at first but once he got used to it he would be quite happy in it, and we used it for ages. Not around the house, but we did some impressive dog walks!

The other great thing I had (although I honestly forget if we had it quite as early as 6 weeks) was a bouncy chair thing. I used to put white noise on (there are 8 hour YouTube videos of waterfalls which are great), sit DS in the chair and use my foot to bounce him to sleep. Then I could just sit and chill while he snoozed. Definitely worth trying one.

6 weeks is about when they start to smile, isn’t it? My mum’s theory is that they have evolved to do this at just the point at which you’re contemplating leaving them under a bush for the sabretooth tigers so you keep them a bit longer... this tells you something about 6 week old babies generally, I feel!

@Puddlelane123, yes, white noise does help, but only for a few moments and then she starts crying again. It defo helps getting her back to sleep if she wakes up at night tho...

6 weeks old is tiny. Have you done any reading on the fourth trimester? Do you find she is waking when you put her down? May be due to the Moro reflex? I’d suggest feed, burp, nappy change, another feed and burp then place her into her cot with her head and one shoulder touching first once she’s asleep then gradually let the rest of her body follow. This helps reduce reflex.

Also do bicycle legs for a few mins at each nappy change to release trapped wind. Good luck!

@Spudlet, thank you! will keep trying with the sling.

so true about the timing of smiles! Sometimes she wakes up (for the nth time!) at night and I feel like I can't do it anymore, then look at her - all smiles and cooing sounds and my heart melts!!

This is all very very normal. She’s tiny and she just wants to be close to you where she feels safe.

Also, don’t underestimate how ravenous newborns can be. Both of mine fed almost constantly. They’re stomachs are tiny - only the size of a 50p piece at this age, so as soon as you can fill them up, they’re empty again.

This part is exhausting but right now you just need to go with it. It sounds like you’re doing everything right. Things will start to settle down within a month or so. What weight is she? I found that once they hit around 5kg, they can take on enough milk to be able to sleep for longer stretches.

Their, not they’re!

@RUOKHon, she is only 4kg, was born small at 3kg, so could be that...

If it's any consolation I saw BF as having to do the hard slog at the start for the benefit later on.

So it was exhausting and painful and just not pleasant when they were tiny.

Now my baby is 7 months. And I sleep without a top on. Because she rolls over and feeds herself!
Win.

But my friend who formula feeds couldn't believe I was having to wake up so many times a night to pick up a baby and feed her when her daughter slept 4/5 hours and her husband did some is now still having to get up. Make bottles and be cold.
I stay in my bed. All warm.

Sounds normal for 6 weeks. I think you just need to adjust expectations and accept that at this stage they still cluster feed and need a lot of comfort. Have you googled the fourth trimester? That helps explain some of it.
Things started getting a bit better for me at 8 weeks (less cluster feeding, sleeping more than 1-2 hours at a time). By 12 weeks even better and improving since then. All babies are different though.

Normal normal! Six weeks is so new! Mine was a furious angry screaming mess til 14 weeks. They do cheer up.

Mind you all her naps remained on me for months and she's still a terrible night sleeper.

Rejoice in the poo slowdown, I was blessed with a poo per feed until solids kicked in.

Also! Ignore "it gets better at X weeks" because it's SO subjective and dependant on the type of baby, your personality, etc. I held on to specific "it gets better" dates and it destroyed me when it didn't get better. Turned out my friend's "got better at 10 weeks" was because her baby started sleeping through; another adviser me 6-9 months was brilliant because they're interesting but not mobile so you can have fun and get stuff done, then bloody DD started crawling at 6 months. All I can promise is it gets better, and different, and easier/harder all the time and it WILL pass and you WILL stop googling "my baby hates me" at 3am

Honestly I was there 7 weeks ago, exactly there... And now things are so much better. In every way you mention. It just happened slowly. Hang on in there

Another one here just to reassure you that it's all normal. Tough and at times soul destroying but yep, totally normal. Congratulations on your baby!

Mine is 7 weeks so I am right there with you. Last week was a growth spurt and she was only happy on the boob. Well as happy as she can be with reflux but there you go.

It's crap and you feel like you're a failure but you're so not. Your baby certainly doesn't think so. You're their safe haven and that's why they want to be close.