Help! Six weeks old still nurses all the time, crying lots, refuses to sleep alone.

[Lombriz]

It's been tough, but as everyone has been telling me things get easier this has kept me afloat, but we are now 6 weeks and I don't see any improvement. LO cries a lot, her happy moments don't last longer than 20 min. The only thing that soothes her is the breast, so Im breastfeeding most of the day and night. She doesn't take dummy or bottle (we've tried several). Gaining weight well and pooing and weeing (although pooing has slowed).

Sleeping is tough: only falls asleep while BF, day naps are on me and she often ends up in our bed at night (wakes up every hour or two at night).

I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I'm so sleep deprived and exhausted. Amy advice ?

Just wanted to say I could have written this myself. Congratulations on your new baby.i also have a 6 week old ds. If it helps to hear, he also feeds most of the day and feeds constantly in the evening. What helps me is to get out of the house as he is very settled in the car and in the pram. It breaks up the day a bit and gives you a break. I do believe it will get easier. Surely at some point they will become more interested in the world around them than in our boobs!

@Ribenaberriesgowoo82, @Gracie90

It's good to hear that it's not just me!

I guess I'm worried I'm creating bad habits. And I keep forgetting it's still early days - feels like eternity!

It's when I read things like Tracy Hogg's accidental parenting concept I feel like I'm creating a monster...

But honestly, there's just no other way. Right now she's napping on me, chewing on my nipple, and I've tried pulling her away and into a cot and there was so much crying - I think I will stop trying for her to sleep alone for now...

The other thing that scares me is my own emotional state, how much sleep deprivation can a person manage?

The accidental parenting thing is just rubbish and Tracey Hogg's advice on breastfeeding is totally outdated.

I'm a first time mum too, my DS is now three months and in maybe the last 10 days or so he's become so much more independent. He has started looking around loads more and found his hand, so is now interested in grasping or batting at things, so I can put him on his playmat or bouncy chair with things to look at or touch and do stuff in the room not holding him all day. At six weeks he'd only last a couple of minutes without fussing, but now I can at least make myself a piece of toast or go to the loo or pick stuff off the floor without having to hold him.

If your little one gets out of her swaddle, have you tried something like a grosnug or swaddle up that you can just zip her into and her arms are then completely enclosed? We started using a miracle blanket just before six weeks and it was a total game changer. DS struggles for a couple of minutes but then when he realises he's properly swaddled, he relaxes and sometimes even smiles. The first week we used it he started sleeping for much longer chunks without being in our bed.

There’s no such thing as creating bad habits op. Tracy Hogg is an absolute load of rubbish.
It is totally biologically normal for a baby to feed to sleep and want to sleep where there mother is. We are mammals. Do you see Gorillas worrying about making a rod for their own backs? Do horses put their foals in the next field so they don’t get too clingy?
Silly examples obviously but you get the point

Sounds completely normal, definitely read up on the fourth trimester Lombriz, she's tiny and new and all she knows is you are her safe place, your warmth, your smell, your voice. Read up on safe cosleeping too and laidback breastfeeding/side lying breastfeeding.

Another saying it sounds normal (sorry...). Does she stop crying when you pick her up, or stop trying to put her down? If so, I suspect she just wants to be held all the time, again totally normal for a tiny baby.

Which kind of sling have you tried that she didn’t seem to like? My DC were very happy in a wrap sling - I had the Moby wrap which was lovely and comfortable (for me/ DH as well as them).

@89redballoons, thank you, that's so encouraging!

For swaddling, yes, grosnug works best, but she manages to wriggle her tiny figures out of that too, not enough to reach the mouth though, which seems to upset her (she looks so desperate!).

I will try miracle blanket, seems it might be harder to get her fingers out from that!

@Wigeon, I've tried Caboo and a simple sling (just a long piece of cloth). She seems to fight it and starts crying. I feel like it's very tight and I'm scared I will crash her. But maybe I need to preserve - she also cries initially when I put her in baby carrier, but eventually falls asleep when we go outside...

I think this is just totally normal and the baby is just being a newborn. It's 4th trimester stuff.

This is normal

Completely normal. It’s tough, but it does get better. Does she settle with her dad?

@Wigeon, she usually settles on the boob pretty quickly. I don't let her cry much, but I doubt just picking her up is enough.

My baby is now 8 months and I still shudder to think of those early days. My experience is very similar to where you are now, and I thought it would never get better, I'd never be able to leave the house again, I'd never get any time to myself again etc etc... it HAS got better, and it will for you too. Hang on on there xxx

@HermioneWeasley, hm, it depends on how upset she is. If very upset, only boob will do it. If it's just a little cry, DH often manages to distract her and then she forgets and can be calm again for 10-15min. Perhaps I don't let him try enough, I just take the boob out whenever she starts crying.

Compelety normal op.

Always try boob first! If in doubt whip it out is the general guideline

The thing with children is to work out how you are going to survive the stage they are at. You’re not trying to fix them and you’re not waiting for them to change, and really you’re not doing it wrong. Get together with dh and work out some survival tactics. Let him take over more, especially if she’s fed in the last hour already.

All sounds completely normal to me. It is hard though. If you can, just spend as much time as possible cuddling your baby on the sofa, feeding her as often and for as long as she wants. This stage won't last forever.

Co-sleeping can be great, just make sure you are following all of the safe co-sleeping guidelines. I co-slept with my babies, and they have both grown up to be independent children who sleep happily in their own beds.

Remember to take care of yourself too, young babies are very intense

You have a Ewan the dream sheep? Not joking. But this saved my sanity. As did this baby bed thing. Like a bed hammock? My daughter would scream for 20 hrs a day. I had another little one. My friend recommended those two things and it worked like a dream. We then found out she was allergic to dairy. So when her milk was changed. It was like a light turned on. I got sleep!

It's such a shame I can't remember the name of it.

My daughter was born just under a kg. The smaller the baby does make w difference. She will need more feeding. Xx

I also remember my mum telling me that picking her up will do so much damage

She's my second and the most confident child! I just parented her like I wanted too. My first was so tiny and so premature. Spent months in hospital. That I worried about everything. She's grown up being a worrier. I wish I'd be like I was with my second. But she's learning.