What age do you let your daughter have her ears pierced?

[Scrunchy95]

My daughter is 9, turning 10 in May. Quite a few girls in her year are getting their ears pierced, I assume as a 10th birthday present. She has asked when she will be allowed to have her ears pierced. I’m completely supportive, she should be allowed pierced ears, but it’s my baby girl. She still seems so tiny and it’s weirdly brutal to imagine happening. Then it’s a very noticeable part of her appearance. My gut as a Mum tells me to wait until she is 12 as this is more the cusp of becoming a teenager and a woman. But I remember being her age and desperately wanting to join the crowd with pierced ears. I don’t judge others with younger children with pierced ears this is completely personal. What age do you think it is acceptable to let your daughter pierce her ears? I’m open to influence.

I suppose I just never saw ear piercing as a necessary developmental stage on the road to sexual maturity and adulthood.

Never had my own pierced, nor did my DM, nor (iirc) my MIL. Some of dd's friends had them done very early, others later, some possibly not at all. Never seemed to bear much relation to their ability to grow up.

School holidays between year six and year seven ie moving from primary to secondary in England and Wales. There was a big queue in the respectable jewellers on the Saturday morning after the end of term for year six!

I don’t particularly like it for me nor see it as a thing every girl need do so it’s easier to delay than someone who thinks differently,

I was 4 when I got mine before starting reception , but times have changed now I think . Now I’m pregnant , if it’s a girl I think I’d wait until she was 12 to make sure she knows what to do

DD1 at 12 months DD2 at 12 years.

my DD was given a booklet containing instructions about regular cleaning along with two products to wash and disinfect. She had to clean and turn them quite often initially iirc

You don’t need two products to keep them clean, and you definitely aren’t supposed to turn them.

For her 10th birthday

I said at the menarch thinking she'd be like me and would be about 15. She had them pierced at 10yrs, 5 months!

Dd1 was 12, Dd2 was 8.

I would allow my daughter the summer before secondary school, but I know of people who've done it Y5 going into Y6. In the summer holidays though, as you have to remove them for PE so they need time to heal.

I let my DD get hers done at 9 simply because I did. She looked after them well, washed twice a day in saltwater. No problems.

What the hell is so serious about having pierced ears?

Yes, quite. My concern was that DDs were sensible enough to look after the piercing. Linking it to a sexual element is just odd and creepy.

People are not necessarily saying they are serious, well I’m not.

To me, it was more that it was such a non-serious, totally unimportant thing that it didn't seem worth risking the potential infection/allergy (which had happened to a family member) until child was old enough to decide this was something that actually mattered to them. If they had, I might have caved in a little earlier than 16. But at the age of 3 or even 9, I was still the person making most of the decisions for them. And I wasn't fussed about having it done.

No, I don't think it sexualises them. But it's not something that women in my family usually have done at a young age, and plenty of them haven't had it done at all, so it just didn't seem like something to prioritise.

You don’t need two products to keep them clean, and you definitely aren’t supposed to turn them.

We are not in the UK and they use a different style of stud here (which is more like a baton) and here you use two products; some sort of disinfectant wash and a disinfectant cream. It's a very reputable place and I wasn't going to argue with their instructions

Mine had hers done at start of summer holidays when she was 6. All the girls in her class were getting them done. Reading that now it does seem young but at time it seemed fine. She asked, I told her it would hurt and they'd need care etc and she still wanted it. I let her watch someone getting theirs done so she knew what to expect and could chose whether she still wanted it. She did. I relented after lots of discussion with her dad. I was last girl in school to get mine done and I felt quite left out about it. Little things like that can matter at school. She's doesn't wear earrings that often now but says she's pleased she got them done before so she doesn't have to bother getting them done now if that makes sense.

Sixteen. When old enough to understand the decision they are making and can look after them themselves.

DD has decided she'd like her ears pierced for her 13th birthday. She may be allergic like I am but we'll get some hypoallergenic studs to start off with and see how she gets on. I predict she lose them and they'll be closed up within 6 months.

14

18. It should be an act of considered autonomy.

16, so last day of next term. No earrings allowed in her school until 6th form, and I wasn’t prepared for her to be taking them in and out every night and getting them infected, closed up etc etc.

Summer after turning 7 for both our DDs

Between primary and secondary. She had to be sure and be able to look after them.

Between primary and high school but dd's were a nightmare. They wouldn't heal, kept swelling and going red, sometimes leaking pus. We went back a few times and they changed the earrings for different metals. After 8 months, she gave up and let them heal.

I take the view that they can have it done when they ask for them and finding out it hurts doesn’t put them off. My eldest was 8 when she had hers done, middle dd was 6 and my youngest is 5.5 and hasn’t mentioned it yet so I’ve no idea when she’ll get hers done.