Finding breastfeeding so exhausting...

[S082018]

Hi all

Wondering what your thoughts are. My little one is exactly 3 weeks today and has been exclusively breastfed since birth.
He has put on weight very well, was 7lbs at birth and as of Monday this week he was 8lbs 5oz!

My problem is that he is a very hungry baby and I'm simply finding the breastfeeding really exhausting. I eat and drink well, but it's just so draining and I feel I'm just a milk machine most days!

I have started to give expressing a go but have only managed to express small amounts so far so always have to breastfeed straight after an expressed feed anyway.

My questions are this:

• shall I give combination feeding a go to free me up a bit and keep baby fuller for longer?
• shall I keep up with expressing and how can I make sure I'm expressing more than just 20/30ml each time?!
• does it make me lazy for already thinking of introducing formula? Has anybody else felt this way?

I definitely do not want to stop breaatfeeding altogether but I do feel like my boobs and I need a break!

What do you mean by 'eating well'?

Are you getting enough calories? To be quite blunt, you need cake and biscuits. Fat, sugar, protein and plenty of water. Take vitamins too.

Why are you expressing? That's possibly a burden you could do without. How much you express is no indication of how much your baby gets.

Unfortunately this is just what it’s like in the early days. It will get less intense, sessions will get much shorter and less frequent. Just power through with that knowledge. Combination feeding is something many people do but it won’t solve any problems, it will just reduce your supply.

Just stop expressing for a bit - or just express once baby is down for sleep. I have been in the same position and it’s easy to put so much pressure on yourself for expressing but at the end of the day what is it really for? It’s just added stress.

I promise - it will get less demanding and difficult, all by itself, and very soon.

I could have written your post two years ago btw. It does get easier and your doing a grand job with the weight gain.

Breastfeeding is a demand based system - your baby is encouraging your body to produce milk by feeding so much.

Do you have plenty of help with other children, the house etc?

The early days are the hardest as you and baby are getting into the flow. Babies will cluster feed so sometimes it can feel non stop but you are giving baby exactly what they need be reassured by that (he's gaining weight - brilliant).

Agree with pp - eat high energy foods - keep a bottle of water nearby at all times, get partner to make you up a flask of tea or coffee in the morning, charge your phone/ laptop up and just sit back and relax when baby is feeding.

It does calm down - baby will eventually go longer between feeds as their stomach gets bigger.

You've done really well so far we are all cheerleading you on!

I agree with pp that this stage is draining but very short-lived. My dc3 is also 3 weeks old and it’s pretty relentless. I’m not pumping yet but when I did previously I used a hand pump at the same time as feeding. That way your let down has already kicked in and your not loosing additional ‘free’ time on pumping.

I also second mainlining cake and biscuits!

I have an 8 week old ( who is o 98 th percentiles for weight and length-so v hungry baby) and for about first four weeks that’s all we did, but it does slow down. I’m the type of person always on the go so it was hard to adjust to sitting down and feeding so much. But then I got into a couple of box sets and started to look forward to the legitimisation of tv watching!! I know it doesn’t feel it a couple of weeks in but it does get much easier, hang in there

You're doing so great OP!

It does settle down & get easier so hang in there.

Remember to drink lots of fluids too along with the cake and box sets.

Sounds like you're doing really well! It is exhausting on top of everything else that a baby brings but it does all get easier eventually.

We combi fed from the start, only for one feed when OH before OH went to work. He did that feed to give me a break, although I did use that time to pump to keep up my supply and build a stash to be able to give a bottle when I didn't want to BF directly. Think it helped to pump at the same time each day and in place of a feed.

You could try using a haaka type pump on the other boob when feeding or pumping and see if you get more that way.

It's completely up to you whether to go down the combi route - all personal preference!

Yep exactly what they all said - it gets easier! DS2 is 15 weeks now and is fuller for longer but for the first few weeks he was basically permanently attached.
I feed him in the sling sometimes as I have a 2yo son too so I needed to be mobile sometimes! Enjoy the feet up time though and just keep it up, you're doing great.

With my dd we started giving a small amount of formula for one feed a day (around an oz or 2 at our bedtime)at around 2.5-3 weeks. I bf for the rest of the time. For me it was as much about wanting to be sure she would take a bottle and formula as I absolutely did not want to ebf. It worked well for us as it meant I could go to bed early and get a chunk of sleep whilst dp did that feed, also at around 6 months we started a 'proper' bedtime and moved the ff to then which meant dp could put her to bed if I wanted to go out in the evening.

At 3 weeks it's relentless, it does start to get better around 6 weeks and carries on improving.

Pumping is time consuming and everyone gets different results, some just can't express much (or at all) despite having a good supply so don't worry if you're not getting loads. If you want to keep expressing you're best working out when you get the best results and try to express at those times (I always got more in the morning).

If you really want to add formula then do, but bf really does get better if you poke through these first weeks.

Thank you're doing great op! Nobody warns you how hard it is x

it gets easier!!

I am a lazy person who needs a lot of rest and one of the main benefits to me was that once we were established I could do it lying down in bed resting without even needing to get up.

Eat lots of snacks. Don't worry about healthy snacks - eat whatever you fancy. You need a lot of extra calories

I combi feed my DS. Adding formula hasn't kept him fuller at all and at 11 weeks he still needs feeding every two hours during the day (I do 2 formula feeds on average).

Are you eating cake yet?

Mine was like this. I combination fed for the first couple of weeks and then stopped because the midwife told me that he would get confused.

Really shouldn't have listened to that advice! He was permanently hungry and BF all the time. I should have trusted my instincts and kept up with the 2/3 bottles per day to supplement because he would have been more than happy to have both.

This went on for 5 months until I couldn't take BF any longer and switched to formula. I was utterly exhausted and he was grumpy all the time. Had I combination fed from the start, I think I would have been able to BF for longer.

Totally normal! You are in prime growth spurt time. It will get a lot better within the next few weeks. Keep going! Lots of cake, rest and water. Breastfed babies are supposed to feed a lot and if you feel like a milk machine you're doing it right! Congratulations on your little one by the way.

Keep going until 6 weeks if you can - it so often gets much easier at that point, and you probably won't want to give up then. It's so hard at the start though

I had no option but to Combi feed due to low milk supply it worked great for me, meant she was thriving but I could get a break too...but by 8 weeks I had to stop BF altogether because my LO started to be lazy with feeding from me so started losing weight. I’m not saying that would happen to you but if you are happy exclusively BF try out some of the techniques from PP.

Hi op, well done for getting to 3 weeks!! I started combi feeding at about 5 weeks, for similar reasons - I didn't want to stop bf as it was going well, but just needed a break to take the pressure off. We started introducing a bottle or 2 between 8pm and midnight. I found that doing it the same time each evening helped get us into a routine and didn't affect my supply too much. Personally I found expressing too much of a faff, but I know women who found it worked for them once they'd gotten into a rhythm.

How long does your baby feed for and how often? I feed frequently but he is only on the boob for 5-10 mins so not as big a deal. Have you checked for tongue tie?

Bottles can be more work. Hang in there! Also this is your job currently so make sure you're not forcing yourself to clean up and do other things too. I found pregnacare breastfeeding gave me everything I might be missing- a bit pricey but means it's all covered.

You've done great by the way!

*As in covered vitamin wise.

Thank you all for your responses. It's so reassuring to know that I'm not the only one feeling so overwhelmed with breastfeeding!
It's also nice to hear that it will settle down eventually and not be so constant...I absolutely love breastfeeding and the way that it strengthens my bond with my boy so I almost feel guilty for finding it so tough at times.

I will stick it out for a few more weeks in the hope that we find some more regularity and will hold off on combi feeding just yet.

Thank you all again 😊

@S082018 that's exactly what I kept saying to myself in the early days 'I'll just give it another week' and we're at 14 1/2 weeks now still bf, every time it did get easier, so much so I can't see is stopping anytime soon (not that baby would let me stop, he's a boob monster).