Finding breastfeeding so exhausting...

[S082018]

Hi all

Wondering what your thoughts are. My little one is exactly 3 weeks today and has been exclusively breastfed since birth.
He has put on weight very well, was 7lbs at birth and as of Monday this week he was 8lbs 5oz!

My problem is that he is a very hungry baby and I'm simply finding the breastfeeding really exhausting. I eat and drink well, but it's just so draining and I feel I'm just a milk machine most days!

I have started to give expressing a go but have only managed to express small amounts so far so always have to breastfeed straight after an expressed feed anyway.

My questions are this:

• shall I give combination feeding a go to free me up a bit and keep baby fuller for longer?
• shall I keep up with expressing and how can I make sure I'm expressing more than just 20/30ml each time?!
• does it make me lazy for already thinking of introducing formula? Has anybody else felt this way?

I definitely do not want to stop breaatfeeding altogether but I do feel like my boobs and I need a break!

I really could've written your first post myself op. Breastfeeding in the early stages is so tough and all-consuming. I used to phone helplines in tears (the National bf helpline is very good), I used to want to throw in the towel. In the end I breastfed until 16 months and it's one of the best things I've ever done. I grew to love it.

I agree with lots of the advice you've had on here. If u can try to hang in there and breastfeed exclusively until around the 6 week mark (I appreciate not everyone can / wants to). It should start to gradually become easier from then (although cluster feeding does last for a good few months ime).

Is there a support group or anything in your area? Might be worth a try.

You're doing brilliantly and keep up the good work. Remember to eat lots of cake!

If you are keen to breastfeed I would hang in there as others have said you’re doing fab and it gets better.

Best advice I had was get a haakaa pump. About £12 on Amazon- you suction it to one boob when you feed from the other and it catches the let down. I do it first feed of the day- get around 3oz then use this to top up the pre bed feed. Gets baby used to a bottle, still EBF but partner can give the bottle and there’s no extra pumping as you’re feeding anyway. I’d recommend trying it it helped me so much!

I hear you op! My first baby is 5.5 weeks and I’ve been struggling with the volume of feeds too! I started expressing first thing in the morning with an electric pump- doing it first thing made a massive difference for me- I quickly got up to 60-120mls in 10-15 mins and we now save this for the eve so when he clusters my hubby can give him a bottle and give me a break. We also ha e some formula on stand by in case.

Things that helped me

1. Fenugreek. I take supplements but you could also steep the seeds in tea. It really got more milk coming I think and it does no harm.

1. Good electric pump. Does the work for you.

1. Pump when baby is feeding and/or when you are leaky. It’s a bit of a juggle but the best for me is to pump whole

He is on other breast or when I am engorged - usually at night or first thing- I find I get almost nothing in the eve.

Hope that helps! You are doing great and whatever you choose is just fine - whatever is right for you both. I was encouraged to hear it gets easier- last night he slept for six hours!!! I also attribute this to the power of the swaddle which u used for first time.

You are doing mighty op

Quite honestly OP your baby is growing so you are doing well. Hang on in there because from about a month to six weeks in you will realise that things are settling and from then on ebf becomes easier. I would really hold off from complicating your life with pumping . If you want to when feeding and your supply are regulated that is fine but doing it so early when you are already feeling like a milk machine is unlikely to improve the situation. Likewise messing around with bottles and sterilising is just more hard work when your baby is entirely normal and is growing well. Best of luck.

Well done your doing so well, the first six weeks are exhausting but so worth it, little one gets the best food and it will be easier in the long run when you don’t have to get out of bed to make bottles etc. And there’s a hormone in your milk released at night which helps baby sleep better. It is really challenging at first you need to think of your main job as feeding baby while your supply builds up for the first six weeks, it will get easier honestly. Make sure u eat and drink loads don’t worry about weight gain as you will burn it off, I used to have loads of drinks and a packet of shortbreads next to my bed for middle of the night feeds and it gave me so much more energy. Combination feeding is great also as baby still gets breast milk and u can have a break but I’d advice against it until your supply is more established as it can make things more difficult in the future as u will make less milk. It is really hard work at the beginning but the sleep your missing now you will get back in the future by not having to get up and make bottles in the future while your baby cries for a feed.

You're all so lovely and reassuring 💙

Thank you - it makes me feel better to know it's ok to find it exhausting and I shouldn't feel bad about it! I am so pleased and lucky that my baby breastfeeds well and has done since day one as i know that not everybody has the same experience.

I will keep on at it and push through 💪🏽 and when I'm feeling overwhelmed with it all I'll just revisit this thread again!

Thank you all again for your kind words and advice.

I found breastfeeding in the winter lovely - snuggle down, get comfy and just do what you need to do.

By the time the longer days and warmer weather arrives you will be well in the swing of it & ready to benefit from being able to go anywhere and bf your baby. Then it is super convenient & brilliant.

I'm on day 3 and already finding it exhausting. Baby is fed every 3-4 hours and feeds for at least 45minutes but sometimes up to 2 hours at a time . He's only dropped 4.4% from his birth weight so I guess it's working but I do feel like a milking machine rather than a human

@T0rt0ise how are you getting on?

My baby was a month old yesterday...he seems to be feeding for almost an hour at a time at the moment. Around 30/35 minutes on one side, I then offer the other side and he will feed for around 10/15 minutes.

I've heard that around this time babies should be going longer between feeds (my health visitor also asked if he was going longer between feeds this week) - the answer is no!! In fact, last week he would go 3 hours between feeds, this week it seems to be 2 hours.

I'm waiting for things to settle at the 6 week mark or so I've heard...

Do what you feel is best for you and baby. I combi fed my 2nd child and I'm so glad I did, as you say, it's exhausting. Even if you only do 1 feed a day, it'll give you a break and also give your OH or other family the opportunity to help feed while you have a rest 😊

@S082018 pressing on! Seems to be feeding even more frequently if anything but at least latching is more established so it's less stressful. Keep debating starting to express but everything I read says hold off do I'm going to for a couple more weeks then revisit the idea.

Keep going OP. I'm BFing my now 11 week old and it's a different ball game to the first few weeks. He has 3-4 hour gaps and is much more efficient. Feed time is about 20 mins now and this will get even quicker from experience with my last one.

I felt I was fed up with it, going backwards etc. But 6-8 weeks it got so much easier. You almost don't notice as its gradual and then it's like wow this is easy. Plus no sterilising, washing, making up formula when you're out. Just a nappy and spare clothes and you're good to go!

@T0rt0ise If you can stick with it for 6 weeks it really is different. By 4 months last time my FF friends were fed up with bottles everywhere and just walking out of the house with boobs felt so easy in comparison.

I have a 6 week old hungry baby, he is only taking short feeds in the night which means I’m up every 1-2 hours, feeling really exhausted and like we have gone backwards in feeding, now only 5-10 mins feed Esther than 20-30mins. Any help would be greatly appreciated,

What I learned with my second was to slow down. Going from a highly stressful job, always on the go and being the kind of person who feels guilty if I’m sat with my feet up, to being tied to the sofa was really hard. My Nan reminded me she was in hospital for a fortnight with her girls and that even when she got home, she was told to rest by her mum and sisters who all helped out. In the modern world we see feeding the baby as something to get done in an allotted time but it takes as long as it takes! Get some biscuits and a big cup of tea, a bottle of water and the remote or a podcast and relax. Shoulders back, good feeding pillow and let your baby get all he needs. Lying down is good too if you can feed this way. Once it’s established, baby will be a pro and much more efficient- it’s early days!

Most babies have a growth spurt at around three weeks. Growth spurts usually last two or three days but they can last up to a week.

Growth spurts are most likely to occur at three weeks, six weeks, three months, six months and nine months.

Thing with pumping is for most women it’s less efficient than bf, so takes longer to get x amount out. It’s also less snuggly! So I found it didn’t feel like it was giving me a break at all.

I liked:

1. haakka on the other boob, that way there’s no extra time taken and I felt less like a cow, also seemed at least as efficient for me.
2. the other parent/carer giving a bottle when I was out/sleeping and me deciding not to worry whether it was ebm or formula, if there was ebm in the fridge it was that, if not it was formula. Honestly loved combi feeding, for me it was the best of both worlds and a revelation when I introduced it at about 12 weeks!

Honestly could have written your post. I think other people have said it all!

My key takeaways were

• cluster feeding is real. Back to back feeds happen.
• your boobs WONT run out of milk
• a booby support person told me to let her have one boob. Then change nappy to wake up and then offer other boob. That way getting max feed and larger break Inbetween

However. I clearly recall my back to back feeding sessions from 8am to 11pm. She was on the boob ALL DAY.
I cried. I whined. I was like how do I get anything done

Answer. You don't. Guilt free TV. Stock up with drink and bikkis next to you.

Enjoy the time. So easy to say when you're exhausted but embrace it.

I googled "how to cope with cluster feeding" which helped me loads.

As for expressing, I wouldn't unless you had to. I had to in thr early weeks due to destroyed nipples and I found it such a bore on top of all the feeding too. At about 5m I swapped one feed for a bottle of formula and expressed instead so I could start a stock pile in freezer!