rejected from private school -

[amirah97]

HI, I need some advice, my son was offered a bursary for year 7 and 8 at a reputable prep school, recently he sat a 13+ exam at a school recommended by the current school he attends and didn't do as well and was not offered a place. Doesn't the current school have duty of care towards my son, who is devastated. I will be hearing from the Head soon, what can I expect from him, what questions should I ask too. Please advise, my son is devastated.

not really sure what you wnat the school to do.
he failed the entrance exam, they can give him support and sympathy but not much else.

What other education options do you have?

In what way 'a duty of care'? If he sat the exam and didn't do too well then there's not a lot the head can do about it.

Other than supporting him if he gets upset in school then I don’t see what you want from them?

Presumably you chose for him to sit the entrance exam, he didn’t meet the required level for the school so therefore wasn’t offered a place. Not nice but something you should have prepared for when you made the choice to apply for a selective school.

Disappointed is perfectly natural. Please don't let him feel devastated. There are always other options. The educational environment your ds is in can be ultra competitive, and there are bound to be times when he misses out. Can you find out how much he missed by? If he was a long way off, maybe look at schools which might play more to his strengths.

I would have thought you should have been advised to have a 'back-up' school, rather than putting all your eggs in one basket. Ask the Headmaster what he has in mind for 'Plan B', but please, please reassure your ds that it will all work out in the end. He shouldn't be feeling devastated by anything school-related at his age.

In what way do you mean 'duty of care'? Do you have a back up school?

All you can ask the Head is what other options he/she suggests for your DS. Have you applied to other schools? What are the state schools like around you - have any got spaces?

Disappointed is perfectly normal and you should be supporting your son in working through this.

What do you mean by "duty of care" - he failed the exam unfortunately.

I’m not sure what you expect of the headmaster other than other school recommendations.
Take your ds to see some other schools so he understands that the first school was not the only good option.

Not all good private schools require a child to pass an entrance exam.

Not sure they have a duty of care as such, but you are buying their services so they should be able to offer advice about back up choices and other options.

This is the world you have chosen for him though- rejection is almost inevitable. Once he has a pace somewhere else and can look back at this process m, he will hopefully be able to reflect on it as a really good lesson in bouncing back.

It sounds like your DS needs some support from you with putting this into perspective if he's feeling devastated, OP - the tests ate designed to be challenging and it's expected that not everyone will pass; that's the point.

It doesn't go to his worth a s person - it's just one school.

He failed a test why are you blaming the school?

Well he failed the exam, so I’m not sure what you’re expecting?

There’s always a risk of this when you put your child forward for selective education. Its the parents responsibility to prepare their child for possible disappointment!

You think you son's current school owes him duty of care because he failed an exam?! If he really is devastated, I think you and he need to put things in perspective. Lots of people do very well in life having not gone to private school. Talk to the head about where you go from here, I'm sure that's about all you and he can do.

You can ask for detailed feedback on your son's exams and the headmaster's view on whether a resit is possible and advisable. If it is, you can also ask for recommendations of a tutor who can help your son to improve.

I meant headmaster of the new school, not current school. Are you in the UK?

Do you think/ expect that the current school or headmaster are responsible for finding your son a school place? Or that just because HM recommended this school your son should’ve got a place?
He didn’t. You should be working through his “devastation” with him.
Surely this wasn’t the only school you applied for?

I agree with the posters above. Your son didn't pass the entrance exam - you should discuss with the head other options. I agree that your comments re duty of care aren't clear. Yes I would expect discussion and advice about what to do in this situation, but I can tell you just listening to my friends that not all children get into schools - some fail the exam, some don't get through on interview. The head is there to guide

Usually people have 2 or 3 schools they have applied to - a stretch and a dead cert and sometimes one other

I think it is a very harsh way to treat a child and must feel personal. That’s why I wouldn’t put my child into that sort of system though, to be totally honest.

Did they suggest applying for only the one school? I would have expected then to suggest at least 3- a high goal, a "on a good day" choice, and an absolute banker to fall back on. Has he really only sat for one?
How many schools did you view for 13+? Are there others that previously you discounted that might suit?

When our eldest sat grammar school test, before he did it, I told him regardless of whether he gets offered a place or not, no one will know him from 2 hours, especially as it was all exam based and no one spoke to him.
Reliance is the key to success in life - successful sports people have it in bucket loads (you can always tell the resilient contestants on strictly come dancing because they take and use the criticism to improve) because they inevitably have had failure that they’ve bounced back from.
Good luck with it all.

I'm not sure that you can expect anything from the current school unless they had given you a guarantee that he would pass the exam of course but that sounds very unlikely.

Can you give a bit more information about what the issue if exactly

May I also suggest you call your local authority to see which schools have places for September so you can get him a place somewhere, even if things shift before then. The last thing you want is him missing education in Y9.
I imagine that independent schools that offer assistance will have all closed their applications now but if you state which area posters might know of schools that have later deadlines?

Duty of care do you mean help him pass the exam ? What else can a school do except teach and prepare for an exam which I expect his school did

so will he stay at the current school?
were you expecting them to spoon feed him the test?