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Parenting

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Original poster

First day at home alone with 2yo and newborn. Survival tips please

34 replies

Justasconfusedwithnumber2 · 09/02/2020 21:36

Just that. Newborn is 4 weeks old and cluster feeding all day and night so I'm exhausted to say the least. DH is off at 6.30 so it's 50-50 whether 2yo will be awake by then for him to help at all to get him up/dressed. And I'm recovering from a c section... Any tips please

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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KavvLar · 09/02/2020 21:42

Deep breaths. You will be fine. Try not to panic at the thought and try not to make any grand plans for the first couple of days. If you manage to get everyone downstairs and fed I'd call that a win. You'll soon work out what you can manage and it does get easier I promise. Best of luck for tomorrow.

superking · 09/02/2020 21:43

Get as much as you can ready the night before - packed lunch for you and the 2yo, clothes ready, nappies, wipes etc. Books to read to the 2yo whilst feeding the baby. Order a sling online if you don't have one already, my DS2 pretty much lived in the sling for the first few months and it made life soooo much easier having a free pair of hands. Use the TV to entertain the toddler as much as needed (and don't feel guilty about it).

If you can get out to the park/ playgroup/ even a walk round the block then try to do so, but don't worry if it doesn't work out.

Good luck, you'll be fine.

SuperSleepyBaby · 09/02/2020 21:44

Are you planning on leaving the house? If not, then you can let the 2 yesr ood stay in his pyjamas.

Would the 2 year old watch some TV? I would leave it on more than usual in the early days until you feel you can manage more easily.

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Original poster

Justasconfusedwithnumber2 · 10/02/2020 03:50

Yeah I'm going to try to get out for a walk around the block, but the tandem is a beast! And the weather isn't great here atm. Fingers crossed, I do find eldest is better if he can burn off some energy. I have clothes ready and the bowls etc for breakfast plus some fruit snack chopped up. I do have a carrier but ds2 is quite heavy for me atm post surgery, I may need to preserver though as I know it will mean I'm hands free for DS1. Feel guilty already about cbeebies time as I know I will cave and it generally makes DS1 abit of a square eyed addict. Fingers crossed we survive....

OP posts:

Standrewsschool · 10/02/2020 04:28

Be gentle to yourself, and take things easily.

avocadoincident · 10/02/2020 05:37

I understand op, I'm not a fan of tv time but you should feel no guilt here. The tv has its place and if it helps your toddler then that in turn helps you and the new baby.

We've had our tv on almost all weekend as I needed it to help distract.

Remember Spring is coming and you'll be out a lot more then. Don't be too tough on yourself now. X

BinkyandBunty · 10/02/2020 05:42

If you can't use a sling, an electric swing might help keep baby soothed while you need to do stuff. I loved mine.

And absolutely use those screens for the toddler, as much and as ish as you need!

You'll get there.

BinkyandBunty · 10/02/2020 05:46

*long

backinaminute · 10/02/2020 05:51

Oh my goodness. If you've just had a c section, please be carful pushing a double buggy or using a sling. Put some comfy clothes on and just let the 2 yo potter/play/watch tv/snack where you can interact from the sofa. If anyone calls round to see the baby and asks if they can do anything, say yes please, could you please take 2yo for a quick walk/run round outside to get a bit of fresh air' otherwise don't feel bad about tv. This is a really short window of time - please go easy on yourself.

Congratulations

backinaminute · 10/02/2020 05:53

Just realised it's not actually 'first day home from hospital' - however please still go easy. I used to go to a little soft play where I could hold the baby and 2 yo could rampage (alone).

Pluckedpencil · 10/02/2020 06:11

My advice - if they have a boring couple of weeks, they won't remember, so look after yourself first and foremost!! So instead of aiming for a walk, aim to dress two year old and let him have a roam round your garden, or if no garden, stand out on the street and let him wander around a bit. I felt the pressure to go out for some reason with newborn first born. Still remember how long it took me to dress him and then he just cried and wanted to come home. Snuggles and Disney films I'd say in these first couple of weeks while you recover.

BullshitVivienne · 10/02/2020 06:32

Play towns are the best if you have any nearby. Lots for the toddler to do, a café where you can sit and watch with the baby and crucially - all on one level so no chance of having to clamber around small gaps and multiple levels like in soft play.

Roselilly36 · 10/02/2020 06:34

It will be fine, I was in your position 16 years ago, it’s hard with a newborn & toddler, but you will get through it. Good luck OP.

Original poster

Justasconfusedwithnumber2 · 10/02/2020 06:59

Thanks, there's no play town near us and I can't drive to a soft play yet until I'm signed off at 6 weeks. I will set up play as best I can here for now

OP posts:

TreeClimbingCat · 10/02/2020 07:10

I was you 14 years ago, newborn after a c section and an almost 3 year old.

This is what you do, stop worrying about using the TV, it is made to entertain. Ds1 got amazing GCSEs despite watching a lot of TV when he was little.

Do not push yourself too much after your c section. Even if you have had one before you only had 1 child. Now you have two. You need to rest and take it easy, you do not want to open up your stitches or make yourself poorly.

Make sure you or hopefully, Dh, makes some kind of lunch the night before and you have access to snacks throughout the day. Also make sure you drink enough especially if you are breastfeeding.

These days of surgery recover don't last that long. Ds1 learned to dress himself which was just pants, joggers, vest and t shirt.

Lifesabeach86 · 10/02/2020 07:18

Just have really low and simple expectations - if you are all dressed by 11am amazing! If you make it out for a little walk - fantastic! If you hang out at home for the day also great! Just take it all easy and be kind to yourself. Parenting on minimal sleep is HARD. Good luck!

kittlesticks · 10/02/2020 08:43

Hey OP joining you in solidarity, I have a 2.5 year old and a 6 month old and it's been tough. You do develop new routines to try to keep both happy. I still frequently have mornings where I don't manage it tho. I think take as many easy ways out as possible at this stage. We got DS a lot of play doh as it will usually entertain him for a while, and I would alternate 30 mins of play doh with 30 mins tv, then it would be time for a snack etc. In the 30 min blocks I would be breast feeding or holding DD. It's not easy but you will find a new normal soon. Congrats!

redrobin123 · 10/02/2020 09:24

Have you got any mum friends with similar aged children? My mum friends have been an absolute godsend with 2.

I also had c section and it's so hard but just found getting out of the house so much easier than staying in and found DD1was so much easier to look after when we were out somewhere.

First few months is so bloody hard! Good luck xxx

NearlyBaked · 10/02/2020 12:20

I agree with kittlesticks - breaking the day into little chunks can be very useful and stop it from feeling too overwhelming. I wrote down a list of activities my toddler enjoys (play doh, Lego, drawing, puzzles, 'craft' (cutting and sticking stuff together nothing fancy!!) tv, dolls) so I had things to cycle through when my brain was mush in the early days and thinking up activities was hard!

I would absolutely be having a pyjama day if the weather is crap, one less thing to get done.

Having pre-prepared food and snacks was also great as you can guarantee toddler will be hungry while your hands are full. I put a tray out in the lounge so toddler could help herself to fruit and other non-fridge bits.

butterflylove81 · 10/02/2020 23:15

Hey I had a 21 month old after my c section I must admit I had help in the early weeks. Best thing I can advise is try and put the baby in a crib when you can they sleep a lot in the early few weeks I had a c section the sling was too painful in the first 3 weeks my scar swelled up after using it. I did rely on a bit of tv, relaxing, play doh, colouring in getting a box of special toys out when I needed to feed the baby and encouraged her to copy me and feed her dolls. Lots of stories and snuggles on the sofa. Don't overdo it just take each hour at a time XX

avocadoincident · 11/02/2020 07:05

How was it OP?

Original poster

Justasconfusedwithnumber2 · 11/02/2020 07:30

Well we survived! By some miracle we were up, fed and teeth brushed by 8am. I gave my toddler some bits to do while I fed the baby and my mum came by for an hour. Toddler is noticeably getting frustrated by the lack of attention, he gets annoyed if me and my husband talk now, as we have had so much going on as well as having the baby. I gave him 100% focus yesterday but he was still annoyed when husband came home and we tried to talk. Makes me so sad. But up until then we did drawing, magnets, watched a little cbeebies, I took him out for a walk in the afternoon to the shop.

Thanks all for your advice. I will take each day as it comes

OP posts:

KavvLar · 11/02/2020 21:24

Well done OP. Proud of you! It will get better including the attention thing, it's just a big shift right now. and for you!

backinaminute · 12/02/2020 20:51

Well done OP, you will find your rhythm and he will get used to his new normal. These early days are tricky and so please be kind to yourself - that's loads to have achieved!

CottonSock · 12/02/2020 20:53

When recovering from a c section I felt able to drive much sooner than push the double buggy.

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