First day at home alone with 2yo and newborn. Survival tips please

[Justasconfusedwithnumber2]

Just that. Newborn is 4 weeks old and cluster feeding all day and night so I'm exhausted to say the least. DH is off at 6.30 so it's 50-50 whether 2yo will be awake by then for him to help at all to get him up/dressed. And I'm recovering from a c section... Any tips please

I've got an 8 week old and a 2 year old and pushed myself too hard during the 4-6 week period trying to keep everything 'normal' for my 2 year old. I would say be prepared for epic tantrums. I felt so guilty but now just a couple of weeks later the baby is getting into a bit of a routine and not feeding constantly, the toddler is getting used to it all and her new sort of routine and I can give her more attention now which is great. My advice would be to get your partner to do as much as he can in the morning and evening, mine gets the the toddler up and ready and any housework he can squeeze in then puts the toddler to bed at night although his work has just got manically busy so this is all starting to slide but I am telling myself it's not forever. Good luck.

And, I agree on the double buggy front, only just starting to use it a bit more and I didn't even have a C-section just a tiny tear and ab muscles like jelly. I've been using a sling and single pushchair or just not going very far and getting my toddler to walk. I found getting my toddler into her car seat really hard as she's too small to climb in so getting out was really hard for a few weeks! I'd be fed up inside or exhausted and in pain from lifting my toddler too much.

Thanks all, I have found DS1 rather stroppy and obviously finding it hard to adjust to the new life at home with me. Up until now of course he had my undivided attention. Yesterday he was pretty good, we were doing stamps and ink on paper while baby kicked about in the bouncer, DS was happy right until the baby did an audible epic poo so I told him I would change him. All the stamps were thrown off the table it so difficult. We're trying to be gentle with him, I.e. Not shout or tell him off too much but God its difficult when they push and push you. We got out for a walk anyway, and I am using the tandem but we have a deal that he sits in it until we get past the shops because its busy, and then he can walk with me. I just cant risk him darting off there, either into the road or into the busy bits, and me having to chase him. It means when he's out and walking I am then pushing a very light buggy so doesn't seen to strain my wound too much. Next week I have to get both boys up to walk my eldest to childcare 3 days per week by 7am, my husband had been dealing with drop offs with eldest on childcare days until now. no idea how I will achieve this!! And it seems so cruel dragging my 5 week old out into this weather when he's sleeping. Oh and I'm sad because it means I can no longer spend the morning in my dressing gown with baby cuddles on those mornings (selfishly)

I appreciate you are recovering from a section so need to go a little slower than I did. I actually found sticking to the elder child's usual routine helped loads - so normal toddler groups - take grandma along too if possible to hold baby. Baby fed around the things we did. Buy a sling as it's perfect for allowing you to follow toddler around. I also found that once we had done the morning activity then toddler was much more settled and happy at home to chill in the afternoon. (Obviously that makes it sound perfect it wasn't and things don't always go to plan!)

@Justasconfusedwithnumber2
Why do have to get to childcare by 7am?
You aren't working too surely, not yet?

Well done.
When you talk to the baby, talk about the older child. The baby will be listening to the sound of your voice but the older child will understand the words. It’s a great way to give the older child attention (you can praise them, or narrate what they’re doing).

Yes I have definitely found going out in the morning breaks the day up best. DS naps at lunchtime so I generally get a sit down then, feeding number 2 doesn't bother me at the time as atleast I'm sat down with a drink!

We leave at 7 because we have tried to keep DS1 to the same routine. He loves his little friends, he joins them on the school run (childminder) knows exactly when it's time to leave etc, so although its tempting to push the time back, it would probably only add to confusion for him. He gets up at 6am ish anyway, it's me that needs to get organised. I'm generally just being stupid because the baby moon bit is over and I need to accept its different this time around, and will require more adjustment on my part. I've had a tough few weeks (not baby related) so feel a little robbed of some of the snuggle time with number 2, but that's just the way it's gone this time.

I appreciate all of your input

Sounds so familiar, hope you’re managing. When DS was little and I was in your situation w DD and really had to take it easy. So I organized play dates at ours a couple times a week so toddler friends could run around and the other mum would help watch toddlers or take them out or make me a cup of tea. Friends that didn’t care what I or the house looked like

It's tough! My DD was 14mo when my son was born. They are now just turned 2 and 10mo. Tbh I used the TV alot to amuse my daughter and i do feel guilty about it but shes learnt loads. I only allow her to watch nursery rhymes. I found the 2 ages very difficult as in splitting my time so that they meet their developmental milestone. But seeing how close they are is just so lovely. I've very little time to myself as hubby works long hours. I get a weekly cleaner in so it takes some of the burden off me keeping house clean. Everyday is exhausting and not being able to get out much cos of the weather does not help!! But remember you're doing your absolute best!