Would you be a SAHM?

[bob1985]

Just gone back to work after maternity leave and pondering this in general.

Not an option for me, but I think I would consider it if I could. Was wondering how many others feel the same? I'm actually quite surprised I be happy staying at home, I've always thought of myself as quite career focused. I don't dislike my job, good company, good colleagues etc. But I miss my DD and the time with her.

(Ps working mums, stay at home mums, we are all awesome and you make the choice that's best for you)

Maybe I should add that DH currently does all the drop offs, and I can work part time meaning I can pick DS up from school 3 days a week. Work is very flexible and I work from home those three short days as well. If I actually enjoyed my job, it would be perfect! My role has changed recently so I’m hoping things may improve.

I hated going back to work with my first but I didn't really like my job so think that played a big part in me being a sahm when I had my second.
I look back on this time fondly but we were really hard up and I look back and wonder what on earth I used to talk to dh about as my life was so based around the kids. I had a lovely group of sahm friends who at the time I probably loved more than dh!
I had about 5 years as a sahm but did lots of voluntary work, then worked evenings in a pub then went back to part time work. It was hard to get back into work after a break even with lots of voluntary work so I don't earn as much now but I do really like my current job and I do love being able to do school runs .
Personally I loved the time at home when they were very young but once they were at playgroup I was definitely ready to do something more. I need the routine of work and think work is often good for your self esteem and self confidence. I would have got a bit down being at home once they were all at school .

Not in a million years. But I do love working part time and feel very lucky to have the best of both worlds.

Yup. older teens now. Last one nearly driving. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

I was a stay at home mum for three years and have just set up my own business.

While I don't regret staying at home, I was quite relieved when I went back to work.

Being a stay at home parent is quite draining, your world shrinks as you don't have much adult interaction in the day, I often felt painfully lonely and felt my identity was negatively affected. Sorry if this sounds dramatic!

You might have grass is greener syndrome. Do you work full time? I've always thought part time work was the happy medium - you get to spend time with your kids but also have the stimulation of the work place.

It’s not for me. Sometimes I think I’d enjoy it- I loved maternity leave- but then I get my teeth stuck into something interesting at work and I’m like “ah no, actually I need this”

Yes and I loved it. I felt really lucky to be able to be with my children all the time

yes if I could afford to.

I am hopefully until my DD goes to school (unless we have another which we are hoping to - if we have another I may go back sooner depending on the children and our situation then) and I love it. The only thing I don't love is other people's reaction to it, but I suppose that shouldn't matter. I had a pretty good career before and hope I can work back up to some semblance of that in the future.

I do worry about what might happen in future but I know I would in any event. I jointly own our house, am married and we have some life and critical illness cover.

No

I enjoyed both maternity leaves but couldn't stay home full time.

Love my kids but no.

I was a SAHM for 4 years, had one 3yo when I became a SAHM and then had 2 more DC in the next few years. Generally I loved it, was very aware that it was a privilege to be able to be at home with them and it definitely reduced the stress of 3 aged 5 and under to have one parent SAH. I did get a bit bored towards the end, but I have no regrets. I started my own company last year when they were 6, 2 and 1 and have loved being back in the ‘real’ world, using my brain again, etc. SAHM was starting to shrink my world - I found myself spending far too much headspace on the laundry, that sort of thing. What I do now fits round them perfectly (I bring the little ones with me and can still do all school runs) so I have the best of all worlds! I am glad I was at home with them though - some days were stressful, but we had some lovely times and in fifty years from now I’m sure I won’t regret a single second spent with my children.

I absolutely love the idea of it, and would be SO tempted to give up the early morning alarms, traffic, nursery runs etc. My perception of SAHM life (rightly or wrongly) is that it is much less pressured.

On the other hand, I am fortunate to be in a pretty good job in a nice company with decent work-life flexibility, and I appreciate that's not always easy to come by. As we're financially better off with me working, I wouldn't give it up lightly.
No easy answer from me on this one! 🤔

I work 2 and a half days a week, and I feel like that gives me the best of both worlds. Lots of time with my kids, but I also keep my career going and spend time with other adults. I took a years maternity leave with my first, and am currently doing the same for number 2 do I'm getting plenty of time with then when they are little.

Everyone has their own answer to this and there cannot be a one size fits all approach. Depends on your job; your finances; your children; your tolerance for work/or said children ( very much related to points one and three). We each work a four day week with fairly flexible jobs where we can work from home one day a week and/ or leave early if necessary. It’s the perfect balance and I wouldn’t want to be at home more. I couldn’t be a SAHM and I am a better parent to my children with this set up as I have more tolerance and patience. I need external stimulation. We’re all different!

I’m a SAHM and I fucking hate it. Trapped now as DH works very long hours (Hospital doc) so no childcare and no local suitable jobs... and I’ve been out the workplace so long I’ve lost my confidence.

It is less pressured @shirleyschmidt definitely. I don’t have the early morning rush or the panic about holidays, onset days, sports days. Lots of support for the kids as home cooked meals but fuck me I’m so bored!

I dreaded going back to work after maternity leave but actually it’s not been that bad. Unfortunately my work turned down my flexible working request so I work full time but in the ideal world I would like to work 3/4 days to get a happy balance between work and home

Had 6 years off happiest time of my life. Loved being at home for the pre school years.

I wanted to change jobs anyway when I got pregnant with dd1 so leaving was easy. Started my own business when dd2 started school so no snooty employers to deal with !

Nope, for my own mental health I needed to go back to work, I went back after 6months with first and 5months with second. I take my hat off to sahp as I couldn't do it.

Ive been a sahm for years and so glad I made the choice to do it (with dh’s support).
Now the youngest is at school I do some voluntary work but I couldn’t go back to work “proper” - far too constraining for our lifestyle (dh is self-employed) and I hate being told what to do! I also think it’s been really beneficial for our dc’s.

I’m the same as you - not in a position to but would love to be a SAHM despite being very career focused until now.

I did a masters before I got pregnant and was keen to progress at work, just lost all interest now.