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Original poster

Be honest - how hard is it to go from 1 child to 2?!

60 replies

helenelisabeth · 31/08/2007 20:02

I am due DC2 next week and am bewildered as to how I am going to manage! I think partly because there will be a 5 year gap between DC and also DD is used to being an only child for nearly 5 years. How did you cope getting DC1 ready for nursery/school with newborn LO etc? Any tips!?

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startouchedtrinity · 31/08/2007 22:12

Mine aren't very close, with two years' between each. I think the biggest thing is that dd1 can't ever remember being on her own. That makes me a little sad in a way, but it has been easy for her to accept both dd2 and ds. And the dds play together really well, but then that might just be luck. There are advantages and disadvantages with any gap and if you agonise about it too much you can go mad. I tried for dd2 when my body started to ache for another baby.

no1putsbabyinthecorner · 31/08/2007 22:20

Yes I agree you can go over the pros and cons too much and drive yourself mad .dh is constantly saying Hes getting old and 'doesnt want to be an old dad' therefore does not want a big gap.(hardly old at 37)tbh I think I could do it now but I do have that niggle of guilt somewhere inside that says I should enjoy my dd for a little longer on her own.I love that about you waiting till your body ached for another baby.

startouchedtrinity · 31/08/2007 22:24

It's true, I didn't think about it, my body just longed to be pg again. FWIW my dh will be forty next year and ds will be two. Tbh very few of our friends have dcs when they are under thirty and most of the dads are in their late thirties or early forties.

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startouchedtrinity · 31/08/2007 22:28

I should add that I felt crushingly guilty when dd2 was born b/c dd1 had to share me. But not only did dd1 take it in her stride, but dd2 is her perfect playmate even though they are totally different in cvharacter and temperament, they really do adore each other and it is going to be really tough for dd2 when dd1 goes back to school next week. Each night dd1 tucks in bed with dd2 and reads her bedtime story (I'm now redundant),and then they hug and kiss and tell each othe rthat they love one another. It really is beautiful.

no1putsbabyinthecorner · 31/08/2007 22:32

we are late to start our family compared to some of our friends and family. My dad is 58 and my step mum is 39 and my youngest brother and sister are 10 and 12.So my dh says I doesnt want to be like my dad and have two young children.Even though my dad is very young looking and acting you can see the patience wearing a little thin with sometimes.understandable with 5 children

no1putsbabyinthecorner · 31/08/2007 22:35

ah bless them that is really very very sweet. I bet your heart just melts. Oh you are making me want many many more. and now...

no1putsbabyinthecorner · 31/08/2007 22:41

When pregnant with dd MW said not to be suprised if I had twins ( twins in both sides)So I think deep down dh panicking in case we try for one more and it ends up being two.LOL!!!!

EscapeFrom · 31/08/2007 22:42

0 to 1 child = life shattering event
1 to 2 children = put 10 years on my face.

The hardest bit is, there's no bloody catch up. No sooner do I get one sorted than the other needs me ... I sort that, and the first one goes off on one...

startouchedtrinity · 31/08/2007 22:43

I love the very bones of my dcs and we are hugely happy, but my body is now crying out never, ever to do this again!

My fil is 60 next month, I went to his 40th birthday party twenty yrs ago when I'd been going out with dh for a couple of yrs!

startouchedtrinity · 31/08/2007 22:46

0 to 1 is definitely the hardest, but I do find having three time consuming, I'm a lot more determined with poor ds that he will stick to his routine and bedtime so I get my life back for an hour or two each evening.

Hurlyburly · 31/08/2007 23:42

Nooooooo

1 to 2 is harder than 0 to 1.

Seriously

Sorry

startouchedtrinity · 31/08/2007 23:56

OUt of all my friends I only know one person who says 1 to 2 is harder than 0 to 1. You are used to sleepless nights, you know what you are doing, you know how to give Calpol or rock a baby to sleep...so much easier. In fact I can hardly remember much of dd2's babyhood b/c it was so easy.

FussyGalore · 31/08/2007 23:59

1 - 2; piece of piss.

just dont push your luck further,i say.

unknownrebelbang · 01/09/2007 00:00

We found going from 1 to 2 very hard, but mine were quite close together.

2 to 3 was a doddle.

FussyGalore · 01/09/2007 00:01

mine were pretty close... no1 was 2.5 when no3 was born.

chloesmumtoo · 01/09/2007 10:12

You will cope fine. Its funny but you wonder why on earth you found it so hard with the first lol. You tend to not worry so much about things that dont matter and to be honest you do enjoy the little one more by having been through it before. I have a five year age gap between mine. Ds started school the same month as dd came along. Worked out fine. Yes they do tend to get a little frustrated when the new addition starts to move around and mess up their neatly placed row of cars/bricks lol but they also enjoy each other too. I found our new addition had a great sleeping pattern as I was determined she would go down when I decided lol unlike the first! Now my dd is five years old herself and has many problems with a nut allergy and lots of other food allergies with eczema. But we cope, you have too. I still wouldnt change her for the world. Its worked out fine, but I dont think I will go for a third!

stepfordwife · 01/09/2007 10:29

ohhh unknown..my experience has been the other way roudf..

1 -2 - fine (19 mths between them)
2-3 - fab and fun but a shocker..think it's scary when the little buggers outnumber the adults
wouldn't change it, though..

stepfordwife · 01/09/2007 10:31

but helen..you will be fine! probbaly helps having the 5-year gap as you'll get a bit of helop. knwo what you mean, is a bt hairy trying to fit in feeds with a newborn in the midst of that daily torture known as the school run..but it'll work out.
good luck

Original poster
helenelisabeth · 01/09/2007 11:44

Thanks everyone - I feel much better knowing that other people have found it okay. I love spending time with my DD and have been a SAHM since she was born but this pg came as a TOTAL SHOCK and I think it will take me longer to adjust having another child than it did when I became a new mum. Time will tell! Hoping I go very soon - DD was 5 days early and I currently 39+1. Fingers crossed!

OP posts:
pointydog · 01/09/2007 12:12

I found 1 to 2 MUCH MUCH harder than 0 to 1. But then age gap was 2 yrs. If your first is at school it should be far easier.

becklespeckle · 01/09/2007 12:25

My Mum always said that 2 was more than twice the work of 1 - she was right!

Saying that, I found though that where my life revolved around DS1 when he was born, DS2 just sort of slotted in IYKWIM. In the mornings concentrate on getting DD ready for nursery/school - as long as the baby is fed and has a clean nappy the rest can wait until you get home. The bigger gap will help also as DD will be able to do some things for herself.

I had 2.5 years between my DSs and it got harder once DS2 was mobile but friends with a larger gap like you will have found it much easier. HTH

Hurlyburly · 01/09/2007 21:05

Pointy, my gap was two years as well" Perhaps that accounts for the unaccountable similarity in our views?

fortunecookie · 01/09/2007 21:15

Ds was born just as dd started nursery school - big mistake, I'm afraid. Dd seemed to think she was being shoved off to school so I could devote more time to the new baby... not an unreasonable idea but totally untrue.

TheDuchess · 01/09/2007 21:35

oh god, can it be done and work full-time?

frazzledbutcalm · 01/09/2007 21:40

going from 1 to 2 was so hard for me! almost 6 year gap between mine, but dd was such an awkward baby! ds was 6 so did loads for himself which was just as well really coz dd was really bad. Personality of baby definitely comes into how hard it is to cope. I now have 4 children and going from 2 to 3 was easy, 3 to 4 even easier!!