How can I get my 3 year old to have some road sense??

[RA890]

This may sound like a weird one, maybe I just need practice. I have a 3 year old and a new baby, now that the late afternoon/evenings are getting a little brighter, I really want to take the two of them out for a good walk to get some fresh air before dinner. The problem is, my 3yo has absolutely no road sense whatsoever and runs off ahead, doesn't listen, doesn't stop before walking right into the road (we live in a large estate with lots of roads to cross during the walk, no park or gated areas nearby). She needs to be constantly told to stop running too far ahead (she would just keep going without looking back, running straight into the road/cars) and it makes the walk turn into one long lecture on my part. Which ruins it for everyone.
Has anybody got good tips on how to get her to walk with me or at least stay close?? It was OK before her sister came along, but I can't chase after her erratic moves, and push the buggy, and watch for cars all at the same time and it's stressing me out!!

Hold her hand? Use reins? Wrist strap?

I think she’s probably too young for road sense. She’ll get it in time of course, but you could try reigns, It sound like the safe option.

And yes to getting out for a walk note that it’s stopped pouring for a few days

^^ nothing else to say really.

With mine I practiced on paths with no cars and nobody about. You can make a game of it. Tell them to run ahead and then shout STOP! When you shout they need to stop immediately and freeze. Keep doing this until they stop every time straight away. Then you can practice on the pavement - let them walk a step or two ahead of you (within grabbing distance) and call "STOP!" when they get near (obviously not actually that near) to a crossing etc. Lots of praise for managing to stop in plenty of time, ooh look at all those fast cars, we wouldn't want to be in front of those would we? It's basically dog training but for toddlers!

Wouldn't let me edit agree with Finfintytint

She refuses to hold my hand, loses the plot if I force it and the very same with the reigns. I see her little friends all walking up to Nursery in the mornings holding their mum's hand and I'm really struggling to get her to even entertain the idea.

She's 3. That's all it is. At 3 they need to be right by your side, and if you can't achieve that by using your voice, you use a device. Backpack with reins, normal reins, wrist strap... Whatever you have to.

DD1 was a nightmare at this age (SN) so I eventually bought a Crelling harness, which is like a chest pad with reins that attach at side and back.

I apparently used to run off and test my Mums patience and a short sharp telling off by a neighbour nipped it in the bud.
Could you ask someone to walk along with you and give her a stern word?

Hold her hand, use a buggy board or she has to hold the buggy while walking next to it, put her in the buggy and the baby in a carrier until you get to the park or wherever? That's how I've managed with a 3 year old and a baby until it's just a natural instinct to hold the buggy or my hand

Twins. If she doesn't comply she doesn't get to go out. Non negotiable.

I bought a buggy board as well. She is on and off it like a yo-yo and makes up stop every 30 seconds.

Buggy board
Hand hold
Rains

No arguments. She is three. Why does she get to overrule you?

Reins!

You need to be firm but kind - 3 is too young and they can easily lose their senses and run in the road ... I still hold my 7 year olds hand along the road and get a bit 😳 if he's up ahead of me ... (helicopter parent maybe!)

My toddlers saw an animal dead in the road, a fox I think. They never questioned the need to walk close to me after that.
It's not something you could set up but watch out for the teaching opportunity.

Tell her she either walks holding your hand or you buy a double buggy and she isn’t allowed to walk.
Be the parent. She’s the 3 year old. It’s pretty normal to throw a hissy but it isn’t an option to choose not to comply. Many ways to coerce, obviously, from bribery through to more draconian

She just treats the whole place like her playground where she can walk wherever she wants. Interestingly she will hold her granddad's hand for a short enough walk and will stay in the buggy for her grandparents too.

Mine way the same and I made a game of it like a previous poster. Run ahead then shout freeze. Then ‘go’ and the freeze. I pretended to be Elsa and she Ana 🤷🏼‍♀️

I had one like this only he was on a balance bike and used to take off. Maybe just go walks away from roads. He is sensible now he is 6 but still refusing to hold my hand.

She is 3, road sense comes later, even the most sensible 3 year old can be easily distracted or forget what they are meant to be doing.

I taught mine to hold onto the pushchair and walk alongside me. If they messed about we would either stop and not move on until they behaved or would go home, no big deal or telling off, simply hold on to the pushchair and we can carry on. Reins can be useful too.

I see that a lot of people are saying the same thing. It's not that I am utterly clueless, at least I hope I'm not. I have tried reigns, hand holding, buggy board, in the buggy, holding the side of buggy etc etc. Even when DP is there as well for the walk she won't hold hands or listen to us. We still go on walks fairly regularly but it is becoming such a chore for us. We need the fresh air!

Just put the reigns on and let her choose between walking holding the pram or standing on the buggy board. Any tantrum and it's straight back home and you have the reigns as back up to grab in case she tries to run into traffic.

I really don't mean to sound judgemental or rude but you definitely need to stop this now, just imagine how much anxiety you are giving passing drivers. You are the adult in this situation and your child may be stubborn but you have to have the last word on this one for her own safety.

Going to agree with the consensus - she's 3 so will not understand road safety. Too young to understand risk of serious harm or death, or comprehend the fact that drivers will have slow reaction times. It has to be reins, she holds your hand, or she doesn't go out. You don't get a second chance at an oncoming car.

She’s 3.

Being that little, holding hands isn’t very comfy for her so that’s why she won’t do it.

I basically had to do some solid entertainment for any walks with my toddler when he was that age and I had a buggy. Full on keeping him engaged, it was tiring but the only way. I also had a backpack for him with a strap for me.

She’s too young. Reins. With a nice little backpack. They are better then the wrist straps as you can stop your child without hurting them.
Before the walk she can put a small toy in it. Then she walks with you holding the reins. If she refuses to walk or tries to run off then use distraction - shall we look for cats etc.
It’s hard with a newborn and when you are tired.
You can also use the reins to practise crossing the road too- which will help her develop Road sense. If it helps Ds1 was rubbish. Ds2 much better because by that time Ds 1 had learnt not to run into the road and he watched him walk on the pavement.