How can I get my 3 year old to have some road sense??

[RA890]

This may sound like a weird one, maybe I just need practice. I have a 3 year old and a new baby, now that the late afternoon/evenings are getting a little brighter, I really want to take the two of them out for a good walk to get some fresh air before dinner. The problem is, my 3yo has absolutely no road sense whatsoever and runs off ahead, doesn't listen, doesn't stop before walking right into the road (we live in a large estate with lots of roads to cross during the walk, no park or gated areas nearby). She needs to be constantly told to stop running too far ahead (she would just keep going without looking back, running straight into the road/cars) and it makes the walk turn into one long lecture on my part. Which ruins it for everyone.
Has anybody got good tips on how to get her to walk with me or at least stay close?? It was OK before her sister came along, but I can't chase after her erratic moves, and push the buggy, and watch for cars all at the same time and it's stressing me out!!

OP if she refuses then she doesn’t go. She is 3 and sounds like any other 3 year old!

“If she refuses then she doesn’t go” isn’t practical though if the OP needs to get out?

We had a double buggy as well as a buggy board. This meant I could take the toddler sitting in the buggy if need be - with some toys or snacks as distraction.

I have mobility issues and use a cane, and my DD was an absolute nightmare at that age for running off. Obviously I really struggled to keep up with her and it was a big concern. This is what worked for me:

Firstly (and I feel like this will be frowned upon), I was as honest as I could be. I had a serious chat and said to her that if someone gets hits by a car, they will be "squished" and that I needed her to always stop and wait for me at roads and to hold my hand because I was scared. And that did make her start taking roads a lot more seriously.

Secondly, I made a bit of a game out of her stopping when I said "stop". So she would run, I'd shout "stop" and she would stop as fast as she could. Sort of like musical statues. We did this in safer areas as a game, but I have said it in real situations where she's run off and is starting to get out of my sight or too close to a road etc, and it worked.

I did try reins and most of the time for us it just didn't work. The most success I had was with a backpack with reins attached, but the novelty quickly wore off. She would scream and sit or lie on the pavement until the reins were removed. Stubborn as a mule

It won’t take long for her to understand that if she doesn’t comply she doesn’t get to go.

OP has said she does hold hands for grandparents so it seems that she is able to understand just doesn’t want to do it for her mum. With a new baby in the mix she is probably also enjoying the attention she is getting by doing this(even if it’s negative attention), so I would ensure she gets even more attention by walking nicely, lots of chat about anything you see and praise for how beautifully she walks etc.

I'm a childminder so regularly have quite a lot of small children on the school run. By the age of 3 children either hold my hand (I can take one whilst pushing the buggy) or hold the buggy strap ALL the way to school or wherever we are out and about unless it's enclosed like a park. If they don't they go in the buggy and a little one goes on my back. They all know this and it's absolutely non-negotiable so they soon learn. You need to model good behaviour by always stopping at the kerb and making a big show of crossing correctly, lots of praise and reward for do no it right but a super firm stance on either hand holding/reins/strap or in the buggy. I couldn't risk walking with multiple children without being this strict and honestly, it does work (& I've had kids with autism & ADHD which presents extra challenges but they still get it)
Good luck.

What does she do when she has the rains on?

I agree with everyone ; she is too young for roadsense.children can't understand road safety reliably until they are about 7.
She has to walk nicely or go on reins/ stand on buggy board/ get strapped into buggy ( with baby in the sling).
It's partly a question of routine and practice as well, but , with the best will in the world, don't expect to be able to reason with her for quite a while yet.
Best of luck.

Reins or walk nicely next to mummy. My saviour for my toddler has been a thomas the tank backpack with reins on that he is more than happy to wear cos he loves it. He even tries putting it on in the house 😂 it keeps him more than safe though when we are out walking as he isn't at the point of understanding road safety yet either. Could you get her a reins backpack of something she likes? Then maybe she'll be exited to put it on

I have a just gone four year old now and a near 3 year old and we live in a estate like yours and quite busy. I made a game of it and they go ahead a little and stop at all the poles or a certian garden gate colour always hold hands at crossing definitly has to be a rule. Has worked great for us even when younger and i had the buggy if he didnt listen it was reins or buggy board he soon understood It was not safe at the roads without mammy. Just be firm and dont go to far to begin with

My 2.8 year old daughter is a runner.. she doesn’t walk anywhere. Just runs. She does have some sense of danger & road safety. I have just repeatedly told her she mustn’t go into the road and must look for cars coming. She does stop 99% of the time but I wouldn’t fully trust her! I’m also quite firm that if she doesn’t hold my hand, I’ll pick her up & carry her which she hates. I’ve literally walked home with her horizontal screaming but she was being really badly behaved near a main road, so tough love from me!

Any chance of using a carrier for baby so you have free hands for toddler? That’s my intention this time.. my DD hated the sling/carrier but we can only hope DD2 is less fussy! Can you drive to anywhere with a safe play area or traffic free paths to let your daughter run wild?! I often take my daughter down to the local, large park .. it’s a 5/6 minute drive but I at least know she’s safe from cars & immediate danger!

Reins are an obvious one but I know my daughter wouldn’t be that keen these days! My other suggestion would be practice, practice, practice without baby.. my parents have my DD once a week & my mum is quite no nonsense. They go out for walks every week & I know a lot of her road awareness has come from my mum being very strict & just repeated telling of the rules! Could you leave baby with Dad at the weekend & use a nice walk as some mum/daughter time and just drill the rules home alongside a nice chat about your day etc!