4yo started gymnastics - doesn't like it

[RidingMyBike]

Signed 4yo DD up for a 12 week gymnastics class earlier this month. It was only option - they didn't offer a trial or PAYG etc. I thought she'd enjoy it. She loved the first session - galloped in, really threw herself into everything. I watched through a window by the door.

The second time (last week) she hadn't had a nap/quiet time in the afternoon and was tired and grumpy and didn't want to do it. I suggested she had a go, and she did for a bit very half-heartedly but eventually came out in tears, wanting to go in the soft play (also in leisure centre). I gave her options of going straight home or watching the rest of the class. She chose to watch, and then went in for last ten minutes and really enjoyed it again.

Now I'm not sure what to do. Class is at 4pm today. When I mentioned it earlier she said she didn't want to do it. She's about to have today's quiet time (she only naps 1-2 days a week now) so she shouldn't be tired like last week. I'm not sure whether to take her and see if she changes her mind, or whether to just write it off.

Of course you take her.

But how much to push her to do it? I was pushed to do things as a child and it made me really miserable. She's only 4 and if she really doesn't like it then she doesn't like it?

She hasn't really been able to explain what she doesn't like about it!

My rule was that if I'd paid in advance, they had to go. After 12 weeks you'll have a better feel for whether she likes it or not and can decide whether to sign her up for the next term. It's a balance between not forcing them to do something they hate, but also not pandering to 'oh I don't really feel like it today'.

It sounds like she enjoys it when she's there - take her

I’d take her.

If we paid in advance we finished the course, however, I wouldn't have imposed that on a four-year-old. I'd give it a couple more weeks.

I'd have thought her school would have gymnastics as part of the curriculum; when mine was 4 they did, I never had to pay any extra for it.
I remember his class doing a little gymnastics display for the parents at the end of one term.

As you have paid, I would take her but not force her to participate if she doesn't feel like it. She is very young. As she gets older she will tell what she wants in the way of extras (I can't help feeling gym should not be an extra though, not at four).

She's only 4 and if she really doesn't like it then she doesn't like it?

I think it was more about her being tired than not liking it.

My daughter is 4 (5 in June) and does gymnastics Friday evenings, she's done it since she was 3 Sunday mornings now Friday evenings as she's moved up a group. I'd take her personally especially if you've paid, we pay a term in advance and we've never missed a session.
Does your 4 yr old still need a nap? Sorry if that comes across funny, but my kids (3 of them) always dropped a day nap by 2 x

I would take her and encourage her to take part. She is still only small so I wouldn’t sign her up to anymore extra curricular activities until she is older.
My DCs were 5 and a half before I started extra curricular activities and the first was swimming which was non negotiable.

I’d take her. They’re fickle at that age, she might love it tonight. My rule for my 6 and 4 year olds is that I’m willing to pay for them to try new activities but they have to see out the course.
Jealous of your napping 4 year old though, mine all dropped their nap at 20 months and DD2 (summer born) started school at 4 and 2 weeks!

My DD did gymnastics. She did not enjoy it but like a pp we have the understanding that you do what's paid for. She is now 15 and wishes that she had kept it up and says I should have made her go .

In your case I would go, she might grow to enjoy it.

@Bluerussian she isn't at school yet, she's only just four so she doesn't go to school until Sept. She does some sport stuff with a coach at preschool once a week but that's quite varied- sometimes it's more gymnastics-like, sometimes football/ball skills. Or balancing games. She's really enjoyed that which is what made me look around for something she'd like to do as a class.

@Gorbie yes, she still naps on 1-2 days a week. She hasn't napped at nursery (3 days a week) since she was 2.5 but they used to do quite early naps at 12.30 which weren't right for her. She napped four afternoons a week until she was almost 4yo (usually 2-4pm - I don't let her sleep past 4 as otherwise it would affect bedtime). Now it's down to 1-2 per week and it depends on how much we've done. Thursday is quite a likely nap day as she's done three long days at preschool on Mon-Wed so is often more tired on a Thurs. Basically, I give her the opportunity as she has 'quiet time' in her room from 2pm and she can sleep if she wants. Sometimes she just colours or looks at a book.

My 4 year old is like this in ballet. We've paid for a full term, but every week she messes about and is sent to the corner by the teacher.

Well, she's napping - conked out on the floor of her room on top of a pile of colouring (!!) so she'll have had a rest.

Thank you for the advice everyone. I'm going to take her and give her a choice between going into the class or watching thru the window - that inspired her last time to go in and have a go!

I suppose long term I'd envisaged her doing one out of school activity a week. It wouldn't be any more than that but I don't really mind what it is (although I think swimming is an important life skill so that's a priority).

@SlothHouse argh how long's that been going on for? Last week mine clung to me howling if I tried to make her go in, which I'm hoping was just due to her being tired.

It had gone so well the previous week last week I'd brought along a cup of tea and some reading for the course I'm doing which I thought I'd get done whilst watching her

RidingMyBike, sorry, I assumed she was at school, mine was at four - 3.5 part time (mornings only until 4).

I'd wait until she starts school before enrolling in anything else.

Bless her heart, I can imagine her sleeping on top of her colouring. Sweet.

Well, that was a disaster. I've just written to the leisure centre management to complain and asked for a refund. DD's definitely not going back anyway!

She was really worried about going and kept talking about it (I hadn't mentioned it) so I suggested she watch through the window with me and went in if she felt like it. But we arrived and discovered they'd barricaded the windows so that it was really hard to see into the room! I'd been told when I booked that it was fine to stay with her in the room and watch but this wasn't allowed in practice. I managed to convince her to go in and have a go, and she had a couple of good tries at a jump thing, but one of the staff then said something to her that upset her, and she ended up distraught , howling her eyes out (not tantrum howling, really upset howling). They wouldn't let her come out to me, but she wasn't stopping howling so I forced the door open and removed her. They weren't very pleased that I'd gone into the room but I wasn't leaving her there in that state and they weren't letting her leave.

There's no way I'm letting her back in there again - I was not at all happy about the windows being blocked off (what are they trying to hide?!) and after they tried to stop a distraught small child getting to their parent I realised this was a completely unsuitable environment for her to be in. I don't want to undermine her confidence.

Be interesting to see if I get a refund, anyway. There was another mum there who said it wasn't very good compared to the class they'd been to elsewhere - it's a very big group of about 30 kids and the age range is big as there's some big 8-10 year olds there as well as a lot of younger ones.

It sounds dreadful, RidingMyBike, I'm glad your daughter won't be going back and I hope you get a refund (though I doubt it somehow).

Sounds awful
Glad to hear she won't be back x

Thank you! I haven't heard anything back yet but having talked to some other mums at toddler group this morning it sounds dreadful compared to classes their kids have done so it feels like the right decision to remove her, whether or not they provide a refund

Mine turned 4 in August and started school in September - but she hadn’t napped for a couple of years so that wasn’t an issue.

Maybe if she’s so tired regularly you should get her checked out, could be low on iron.

Generally I would persevere for longer, ie do the full 12w but it sounds like that's not a great idea in this specific instance!

I always ask in the holidays or whatever the necessary break point is to give notice if they still want to do xyz, but they have to give stuff a good go.

The exception was cheerleading when dd slipped on some spilt drink as she walked into the hall, I decided we wouldn't be doing something that could be dangerous after that lack of H&S!

I don’t think you need to complain. They can’t have lots of parents in the room and it’s probably a safeguarding issue. She’s 4 now so not teeny tiny. Lots of 4 year olds are at school all day long.