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Parenting

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Original poster

Is it ok to leave an 11 year old?

39 replies

mosschops30 · 29/08/2007 15:53

dd started walking to school in her last year at primary.
Next Tuesday she starts high school and when I am working (every 8 weeks or so) she will have to let herself out in the mornings (she will be alone for about an hour) or in the afternoon (she will be alone for about 2 hours).
She is happy with this arrangement but just wondered if it was legal/allowed/appropriate etc.
There is no childcare for high school children so we are left with little option

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NAB3 · 29/08/2007 15:55

If you are asking, does that mean you aren't happy with the decision or just want permission? I always though you had to be 12 to be left but i don't know the law.

jura · 29/08/2007 15:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

mosschops30 · 29/08/2007 15:58

No I'm ok with her staying here, we live in a nice cul-de-sac with friendly neighbours. I dont think she will be at risk anymore than she would be walking to the bus stop or down to the shops (which she does).

Just didnt know if it was 'legal'

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fifisworld · 29/08/2007 15:58

I would think it depends on the 11 year old.
If you think she is mature enough to be left and you are comfortable with this then i would have thought it would be ok, altough i dont know the law.
I woul dmake sure that she knows what to do in an emergency and that she has contact numbers just incase something does happen.
And maybe if you have a neighbour you trust who you could let them know that she will be on her own and that she could go to incase of emergency?

maureenmlove · 29/08/2007 15:59

Actually there is no law saying exactly what age it is acceptable to leave children alone. As long as you feel your dd is sensible and able to be alone, its up to you.

seeker · 29/08/2007 16:00

There's no law about when children can be left - people oftern think there is, but there isn't I think it depends a lot on the type of child she is, and whether there's anyone she can go to for help if she's got a problem. What would happen, for example, if she got home and there was a power cut? Or a burst pipe? I suppose the other thing is, can you be sure she'll be able to get herself to school on time? And to get on with her homework when she gets home? It's quite a responsibility for an 11 year old.

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 29/08/2007 16:01

PITA isn't it mosschops?

I'm sure she'll be fine. Do you have neighbours at home at those times. Someone she could call on in an emergency? As jura says there's nothing about age written in law. The NSPCC recommends 14 I think but it's pretty impossible for most families.

SKYTVADDICT · 29/08/2007 16:04

My DD1 (11) starts high school next week too and will be in a similar situation 2 days a week. Only by herself for about half an hour in the mornings though and 1 of the nights for a couple of hours - we are very worried about her locking the house and not losing the key!

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 29/08/2007 16:04

Yes that's a good point - spare key with trusted neighbour.

Original poster

mosschops30 · 29/08/2007 16:05

Most days it wont be a problem I will be here morning and afternoon as I am going to be in college. But when I'm on placement she will be on her own morning or afternoon (never both)..
Yes we have people on the street who are always in (old couple across the road always in) or next door, and next door but one. So she wouldnt have far to go in an emergency. She will have a list of contacts (in-laws only 10 minutes away) in case something drastic happens they can be here pretty quickly

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ruddynorah · 29/08/2007 16:06

this is just every 8 weeks or so? not a probelm surely. you aren't allowed, by law, to 'neglect' a child. but this isn't neglect. for the 2 hours she's on her own in the evening maybe she could go to a friends house for tea?

Original poster

mosschops30 · 29/08/2007 16:07

ruddynorah its 8 weeks every 8 weeks IYKWIM (8 weeks college, 8 weeks work) so no friends house for tea every night for 8 weeks wont work

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TellusMater · 29/08/2007 16:07

I did this at 11. But attitudes were rather different then.

fifisworld · 29/08/2007 16:08

im sure she'll be fine, you wouldnt even be considering it if you thought she wouldnt be ok

Original poster

mosschops30 · 29/08/2007 16:11

Tellus ... I agree, I walked home from about 10 and would often let myself in. Definately changed attitudes since then.

Fifis, I would much rather someone be here, but unfortunately we dont have much choice. We just have to make the best of it, its not ideal

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ruddynorah · 29/08/2007 16:12

oh i see!

seeker · 29/08/2007 16:12

could she go to the in laws instead at least at first? She might welcome the chance to spend some time with her grannypeople - depending on how she gets on with them, of course. I know my dd would love to go to Grandma every day after school to be stuffed with cake and be listened to attentively as she rabbits on!

maureenmlove · 29/08/2007 16:20

Just a thought, but where has she been going up to now, when you've been at work? I'm a childminder and occasionally, I still get one of my old mindees coming in after school and she is now 14! She's a bit of a dizzy one really, forgets her key or sometimes just wants the company. I don't charge obviously, its so infrequent, but at least her parents know that if there is a problem, she comes tome.

Original poster

mosschops30 · 29/08/2007 16:26

lol at inlaws having dd not likely although she would love it, they are not hands on IYKWIM.

childminders are in very short supply in this area, took me months to find one for ds and thats not even in our area.

She did go to the council run after-school club which picks up from the primary's but obviously now we dont have that option

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Lilymaid · 29/08/2007 16:29

She should be fine if she is a sensible girl and especially if there are friendly neighbours. Both DSs have had to come home to an empty house some days from age 11 and have never been any trouble!

maureenmlove · 29/08/2007 16:29

Is she going to High School with any of her friends? If so, could you put one of the parents on standby in case? Ultimately though, if you trust her, then I don't think its a problem. I couldn't leave my 11 year old, purely because she can't even master opening the front door! I wouldn't have a problem with it though, if she could.

filthymindedvixen · 29/08/2007 16:29

I used to do this at 9.

Just out of interest our local high school is changing its hours in september from 8.15 to 2.30pm! Making it even harder for parents to be around when school finishes... As you say, no after school care for high schoolers Unless they get a detention

Original poster

mosschops30 · 29/08/2007 16:34

Think we will just have to give it a go. It wont be until beginning of November which is a shame because it will be dark nights. Hopefully I will get a placement thats not shifts.
Think the key with neighbour is a great idea, will deffo do that, thanks

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seeker · 29/08/2007 16:39

Puzzled by your response about pils - why is it funny? On second thoughts - don't explain - I'm only being nosy!

Original poster

mosschops30 · 29/08/2007 16:46

seeker think golf, more golf, bit more golf, oh and then some more golf. Then its Xmas and you have youre family round. Thats my inlaws in one sentence

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