Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Is it ok to leave an 11 year old?

39 replies

mosschops30 · 29/08/2007 15:53

dd started walking to school in her last year at primary.
Next Tuesday she starts high school and when I am working (every 8 weeks or so) she will have to let herself out in the mornings (she will be alone for about an hour) or in the afternoon (she will be alone for about 2 hours).
She is happy with this arrangement but just wondered if it was legal/allowed/appropriate etc.
There is no childcare for high school children so we are left with little option

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
seeker · 29/08/2007 16:51

Oh - you mean golf,then? What IS it about golf? I tried it once. A good walk spoiled, to steal a phrase! Ok - so unless she wants to be a caddy, that's out then!!!! My mum is 87 and bakes cakes and I always sort of expect other people's grandmas to be like that. I forget that most of them are around my age.......

mosschops30 · 29/08/2007 16:52

lol my mum is the grandma in our house (although not that old at 62) sadly she lives 200 miles away

OP posts:
sandyballs · 29/08/2007 16:56

She'll be fine. Think back and remember what we were all doing at 11 and how much more responsibility/freedom we had. The world hasn't changed that much, contrary to what most people think.

It will do her good and make her feel very responsible and grown up.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Hurlyburly · 29/08/2007 17:15

I would do it.

princessmel · 29/08/2007 17:17

The child I look after is at home on his own for an hour or so after school one day a week. Thats if his dad is working away. Sometimes he's working from home. Its the day I dont work.
He's nearly 11.

kittylouise · 29/08/2007 17:21

Mosschops - this is what my dd will be doing (same age, first year at senior school), we both feel fine about it. About an hour in the morning, hour and half after school. I will just make sure she is breakfasted and ready for school before I leave so she can just watch nonsense on the telly until she leaves for school. I think she is certainly mature enough, and luckily we live right near the school.

One thing that you may want to look into - dd's school offers homework clubs after school for an hour,she and her friends are going to go to this (until the novelty wears off!!) - doubly good as she can get her homework out the way, be supervised (and they also offer cups of tea as well!). Check if your dd's school does such a thing - I think it's a great idea.

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 29/08/2007 17:27

filthymindedvixen - ours changed to a 3pm finish instead of 3.30. It's a bit of a nightmare for us as d can't make the walk home from school and can't be left alone for long.

dd's school have their LRC open after school til 5 I think and there are usually extra curricular clubs for Dance, Art, sport etc, You may find that she doesn't come straight home some nights anyway mosschops.

unknownrebelbang · 29/08/2007 17:30

I would do it, as long as you and dd are happy with this arrangement, I don't see a problem.

Strict groundrules, re opening (or not!) the door when people knock, friends, homework etc, and a list of people she can contact in an emergency.

Also think about what message she'll give to people on the telephone if they ring.

pointydog · 29/08/2007 17:36

I started a thread on this recently, chops. It's what I will be doing next year and a few other munters said they do - or know someone who does - the same.

Depends a bit on the child's character.

saggarmakersbottomknocker · 29/08/2007 17:47

Munters pointy? Is that a new description lol. I quite like it.

pointydog · 29/08/2007 17:51

har!

Someone used that term in a thread title recently and I thought it was hugely funny and thought I should use it.

It's apparently an old mn term.

roisin · 29/08/2007 18:14

You could encourage her to sign up to lots of after-school activities?! Seriously, lots of high schools have homework sessions/ computer clubs etc. after school; so if it doesn't work out well, you could encourage her to stay later at school and get her homework done before she comes home?

Please do keep talking to her about it when the arrangements start. Some children agree to this sort of arrangement, and then subsequently are not happy about it, and feel permanently worried/scared/stressed when they are alone in the house; but dare not say anything about it to their parents.

roisin · 29/08/2007 18:16

My ds1 is 10 (going into yr6), and I would be happy now to leave him alone for 20-30 mins - under strict instructions/guidelines of course. But he is not happy to be left, so it won't happen for some time I think.

Phraedd · 29/08/2007 21:08

I think that as long as you set groundrules, she'll be fine.

Make a list of numbers and keep it somewhere safe and easy to find.

Ask her what she would do in certain scenarios ie if there was a fire etc.

Will she have internet access at home? if so, read the bit below with her....i think that it is fictitiuos but it is still a very worthy message

MY SPACE: A Must Read for All!

EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ ALL OF THIS AND HAVE CHILDREN READ IT TOO!

After tossing her books on the sofa, she decided to grab a snack and get on-line.
She logged on under her screen name ByAngel213.
She checked her Buddy List and saw GoTo123 was on.
She sent him an instant message:

ByAngel213: Hi. I'm glad you are on! I thought someone was following me home today. It was really weird!
GoTo123: LOL You watch too much TV. Why would someone be following you? Don't you live in a safe neighbourhood?
ByAngel213: Of course I do. LOL I guess it was my imagination cuz' I didn't see anybody when I looked out.
GoTo123: Unless you gave your name out on-line. You haven't done that have you?
ByAngel213: Of course not. I'm not stupid you know.
GoTo123: Did you have a softball game after school today?
ByAngel213: Yes and we won!
GoTo123: That's great! Who did you play?
ByAngel213: We played the Hornets. LOL. Their uniforms are so gross! They look like bees. LOL
GoTo123: What is your team called?
ByAngel213: We are the Canton Cats. We have tiger paws on our uniforms. They are really cool.
GoTo123: Did you pitch?
ByAngel213: No I play second base. I got to go. My homework has to be done before my parents get home. I don't want them mad at me. Bye!
GoTo123: Catch you later. Bye!
Meanwhile.

GoTo123 went to the member menu and began to search for her profile.
When it came up, he highlighted it and printed it out.
He took out a pen and began to write down what he knew about Angel so far.

Her name: Shannon
Birthday: Jan. 3, 1985
Age: 13
State where she lived: North Carolina
Hobbies: softball, chorus, skating and going to the mall.

Besides this information, he knew she lived in Canton because she had just told him.
He knew she stayed by herself until 6:30pm every afternoon until her parents came home from work.
He knew she played softball on Thursday afternoons on the school team, and the team was named the Canton Cats.
Her favourite number 7 was printed on her jersey.
He knew she was in the eighth grade at the Canton Junior High School.
She had told him all this in the conversations they had on- line. He had enough information to find her now.

Shannon didn't tell her parents about the incident on the way home from the ball park that day.
She didn't want them to make a scene and stop her from walking home from the softball games.
Parents were always overreacting and hers were the worst.
It made her wish she was not an only child.
Maybe if she had brothers and sisters, her parents wouldn't be so overprotective.

By Thursday, Shannon had forgotten about the foot steps following her.
Her game was in full swing when suddenly she felt someone staring at her.
It was then that the memory came back.
She glanced up from her second base position to see a man watching her closely.

He was leaning against the fence behind first base and he smiled when she looked at him.
He didn't look scary and she quickly dismissed the sudden fear she had felt.

After the game, he sat on a bleacher while she talked to the coach.
She noticed his smile once again as she walked past him.
He nodded and she smiled back.
He noticed her name on the back of her shirt.
He knew he had found her.

Quietly, he walked a safe distance behind her.
It was only a few blocks to Shannon's home and once he saw where she lived he quickly returned to the park to get his car.
Now he had to wait.
He decided to get a bite to eat until the time came to go to Shannon's house.
He drove to a fast food restaurant and sat there until time to make his move.
Shannon was in her room later that evening when she heard voices in the living room.
'Shannon, come here,' her father called.
He sounded upset and she couldn't imagine why.
She went into the room to see the man from the ball park sitting on the sofa.
'Sit down,' her father began, 'this man has just told us a most interesting story about you.'
Shannon sat back.
How could he tell her parents anything?
She had never seen him before today!
'Do you know who I am, Shannon ?' the man asked.
'No,' Shannon answered.
'I am a police officer and your online friend, GoTo123.'
Shannon was stunned.
'That's impossible! GoTo is a kid my age! He's 14. And he lives in Michigan!'
The man smiled. 'I know I told you all that, but it wasn't true. You see, Shannon, there are people on-line who pretend to be kids, I was one of them. But while others do it to injure kids and hurt them, I belong to a group of parents who do it to protect kids from predators. I came here to find you to teach you how dangerous it is to talk to people on-line. You told me enough about yourself to make it easy for me to find you. You named the school you went to, the name of your ball team and the position you played. The number and name on your jersey just made finding you a breeze.'
Shannon was stunned. 'You mean you don't live in Michigan ?'
He laughed. 'No, I live in Raleigh. It made you feel safe to think I was so far away, didn't it?'
She nodded.
'I had a friend whose daughter was like you. Only she wasn't as lucky. The guy found her and murdered her while she was home alone. Kids are taught not to tell anyone when they are alone, yet they do it all the time on-line. The wrong people trick you into giving out information a little here and there on-line. Before you know it, you have told them enough for them to find you without even realizing you have done it. I hope you've learned a lesson from this and won't do it again. Tell others about this so they will be safe too?'
'It's a promise!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page