Baby’s room smells of smoke

[HayleyHaystack]

We live in an old Victorian terrace and our next door neighbour is a smoker & smokes in his bedroom, which is the room next to our baby’s room.

Before DS was born, DH went over to explain that the then-spare room always smells of smoke and it’s going to be a nursery & would he mind smoking elsewhere etc.

Neighbour was great about it, we’ve been neighbours for a long time, he loves kids (and is super sweet with our DS) and from the day we brought DS home we haven’t really smelt smoke in there since.

However tonight I’ve been into check on DS and the room smells of smoke. DS is 6 months old. Of course tomorrow DH will go next door to ‘check in’ but how dangerous is this for a baby to sleep in tonight? It’s not terrible but there’s a definite smell and I’m concerned.

I’m afraid your DS has a severe problem with smoking marijuana, hence the smell of smoke. I suggest you join in with your DS as you only live one life and you should live it to the fullest. I wish I could get melted without my DS!! Yours truly, Linda Xx

Wrong thread I think Linda 😂

No, you can't tell your neighbour he can't smoke in his own home?!

Has Linda been hanging out next door?

You're really telling your neighbour where they can smoke in their own home

Nuts. Absolutely nuts.

As annoying as it might be @DivGirl is right.

You have absolutely no rights here, and your husband was quite cheeky to go over the first time.

I say this as someone who is driven mad by the CONSTANT at all hours COPD cough of my chain smoking neighbour on the patio.

There is NOTHING I can do about him whatsoever as it is literally none of my business and he has every right to smoke there.

It his house you can’t dictate to where he can and can’t do things

Is it coming through an open window?
Hope you find a solution but no you can't dictate to the neighbour I'm afraid.

Have to say thanks to Linda for the laugh, obviously wrong thread as I don't see your 6 month old son smoking drugs

I'm off next door to hang out with Linda.

Do not put your child To sleep in a room smelling of smoke. If you can smell it, it’s too much. Move the cot if you have to.

Well Linda sounds fun!

Cheers Linda!

This was clearly missed in the post but the issue isn’t about whether my neighbour should have been asked or not. It’s entirely down to on the relationship you have surely and we have a great one with our neighbour. He wasn’t surprised to be asked and didn’t want his lovely brand new little neighbour breathing in his smoke either - it was really casual and it’s called being a good neighbour and just normal friendly decent human beings FFS! We didnt go round with a contract

My concern was more 3rd hand smoke and whether anyone has any advice here.

@Aardvarkitsabloodyaardvark No, through the brick work. We (as in, both houses) think there’s probably so many gaps and cracks beneath the plaster as the houses are so old. Doesn’t happen anywhere in the house.

I would probably take DC out of the room if I smelt smoke tbh

If you own the house, could you whack up some gyprock/drywall sheeting just on the adjoining wall?
It could be done in a weekend and isnt very expensive.

Or could it be going out and coming in through tiny gaps around the windows?

You're probably going to find it easier to move the baby into a different room.

My concern was more 3rd hand smoke and whether anyone has any advice here.

What's 3rd hand smoke? And what advice do you expect? Instructions on how to cobble together an air-purifying device from a pair of bellows and some sticky-back plastic?
Move the baby for tonight if you're concerned.

He wasn’t surprised to be asked and didn’t want his lovely brand new little neighbour breathing in his smoke either

It's just possible he was being polite and is not as invested in his "lovely brand new little neighbour" as, say, you are and forgot just this once.

@LaMarschallin
Not sure what I did to deserve such a sarcastic and rude reply. I posted this question as thought perhaps there are mumsnetters with smokers in the house and would provide reassurance or would have experience with it themselves.
If you didn’t have anything kind of helpful to say, why take the time to respond? I find it strange that you are choosing to offend someone in your free time.

3rd hand smoke is the phrase used for smoke that clings to clothing or furniture etc. Easily googled if you’d like to know more about it.

Thanks @PenelopeFlintstone I’ll suggest this today. Good point about the windows too.

Thanks others for responses too.

I posted this question as thought perhaps there are mumsnetters with smokers in the house and would provide reassurance or would have experience with it themselves.

Really?

So you're worried about someone in a completely different house smoking, but if a mumsnetter with a smoker actually in the house could provide reassurance, you'd feel fine?

I think you're being a bit precious and it would be rude to go and talk to your neighbour again about his smoking in his own house based on one occasion.

That may not be "kind" but was meant to be "helpful". Your neighbour sounds a pleasant person but may lose patience with his old neighbours, let alone the lovely brand new one, if you jump to criticise too soon.

Thank you for the information about 3rd hand smoke. I was under the impression that what you described was 2nd hand smoke.
I stand corrected.

Perhaps terraced living isn't for you and your family.

Your NDN is probably fed up with listening to your DS’s crying so has taken up smoking again to soothe his nerves.

Move bedrooms.

Most of the harmful gases from cigarettes aren't detectable so by the time you can smell it, the air is quite toxic. No way should a baby be in a room that smells of smoke, let alone be left to sleep in one.

You need to either stop the smoke coming in or move the baby to a different room.

No adults should be exposed to it either though so hopefully you can add more drywall sheeting or something to protect the room.

Youre welcome. I think I'd try the window first. Less disruption and much easier to get the materials.