Baby’s room smells of smoke

[HayleyHaystack]

We live in an old Victorian terrace and our next door neighbour is a smoker & smokes in his bedroom, which is the room next to our baby’s room.

Before DS was born, DH went over to explain that the then-spare room always smells of smoke and it’s going to be a nursery & would he mind smoking elsewhere etc.

Neighbour was great about it, we’ve been neighbours for a long time, he loves kids (and is super sweet with our DS) and from the day we brought DS home we haven’t really smelt smoke in there since.

However tonight I’ve been into check on DS and the room smells of smoke. DS is 6 months old. Of course tomorrow DH will go next door to ‘check in’ but how dangerous is this for a baby to sleep in tonight? It’s not terrible but there’s a definite smell and I’m concerned.

I’ve got a weird anxiety about cigarette smoke. I can’t bear the smell & HATE breathing it when walking past someone. It’s just so toxic. That said, I know there are fumes everywhere from cars etc, it’s just a weird thing I have!

I’d not let my baby sleep in that room. Second hand/third hand smoke is still pretty harmful. Especially if it’s a long term thing. If you aren’t planning to move anytime soon, can you get a builder in to assess what you could to the walls to try permanently remove the issue? I know I would be! The idea of subjecting my child to a smokey house when you don’t smoke yourself is an awful situation!

Baffled by the neighbour argument. I’m really friendly with our neighbour, I feel like I could have a polite chat about something like this with mine. I wouldn’t push it but equally she wouldn’t be offended. We’ve chatted about noise etc before, I’ve worried about my baby screaming against the wall to her bedroom & told her to let me know so I could move the cot if it was really bad! And she’s asked if her new dog disturbs my daughter in the evening and she’ll keep him out her bedroom to stop the barking! Thankfully, we are well insulated it seems. Neither of us hear much!

I would imagine it’s coming through the floorboards/skirting. You could try and tape the area. This happened to my friend and she couldn’t get it to stop. I hate the smell of smoke do feel your pain.

@GoFiguire For Christmas we bought him whiskey with a card that said exactly that, so you’re not wrong there!

Don't leave your DS in a room in which you can detect smoke. That's a no brainer. He needs to be moved to another room. If the measures suggested by other posters don't work he'll need to swap rooms permanently. Under no circumstances should you pester your neighbour with this again. It was very cheeky of you to do it the first time.

It’s so completely obvious that you need to move your baby’s bedroom to another room. Nobody can reassure you that it’s fine or that it’s going to be fine because it’s not fine.

You can’t rely on the good-will or memory of someone else. You need to take charge of the situation yourself and make changes that you can control.

@June705 I didn’t “pester” my neighbour. For gods sake we are friends! For what’s it worth his first response was why didn’t we tell him sooner. Not everybody is as uptight as MNetters.

Thank you @superram - good to know I’m not alone!

Replaster the wall?

Not everybody is as uptight as MNetters.

That's strange, I thought kindness was really important to you.

I had this in my former house (1910s I think) when living next door to a heavy smoking couple, but fortunately in the bathroom and kitchen only (they were on top of each other) and not in the bedrooms. I thought it was coming through gaps around pipes. As yours is Victorian, is there a fireplace in the bedroom?

Buy an air purifier, we have one because of living in London and concerns about air quality, it tells you when the air is contaminated and when it's cleaned. It goes red if we fry bacon! It will remove smoke too. They are expensive but worth it imo

Funnily enough I was just looking this up. Have the same issue with my DS's room. I was just looking up solutions, and just read this:

www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/homes-and-property/new-to-market/what-can-we-do-to-stop-our-neighbour-s-smoke-leaking-into-our-home-1.3802931?mode=amp

You can't control when or where you neigbour smokes. My neighbour's are considerate too - and the smoke smell is only now and again so they do try, but untimely it's their house.

You've had some odd responses, OP

I probably wouldn't have put the baby in that room in the first place, tbh (anyway, hasn't he been in your room, as advised?), but I would certainly be moving him now. It does increase the SIDS risk quite significantly. Think how you'd feel if anything happened, even if you'd likely never know whether it was 'actually' the smoke that was the cause.

Unlike many PPs, I think it was fine for you to talk (nicely, as you did) to your neighbour. Fortunately the tide is turning on smoking, and I can see a future where it will be treated as a nuisance like noise rather than as something other people just have to put up with. It's already a pretty anachronistic practice tbh.

If you have no other option as a bedroom space for your child, I'd be talking to him again. My experience of smokers, though, is that they do go back into old habits, and I wouldn't ever really be happy letting my child sleep in there. I'd be swapping rooms around or even considering moving.

I think if this is the first time it's happened since baby was born, I would wait to see if it happens again. If it does, you could just mention it to him.
Would be easier if you could just change baby's bedroom though?

what the fuck Linda 😂

i wouldn't put my baby to sleep in there.. good luck OP

@HayleyHaystack knocking on someone's door to ask them to refrain from doing something perfectly acceptable in their own home in order to benefit yourself, is being a pest

Asking someone not to poison your family with carcinogenic chemicals through the wall may well be perceived as being a pest but it is also necessary!
And the op has a good relationship with her neighbour so hopefully it'll be taken well, if bedroom swaps are not an option.

Wow you are getting a lot of grief here!! I wouldn’t have the baby in there. I’d move the baby into your room and if this house is one for a long time, get advice from a builder. Good luck x

Sorry you have no right to ask him to stop smoking in his own home. I had both sets of neighbours that would smoke on their backdoor steps directly underneath my kids bedrooms, there was nothing that we could do, although one neighbour bought a garden shed for the bottom of the garden and used that to smoke in! But they legally have every right to smoke on their own property.

To all the posters saying the neighbour has a right to smoke as long as it's within his property that isn't the case, you actually only have limited rights even with a freehold, and you have to comply with all the laws about building regs, liability, gas safety, nuisance, burning solid fuel other than smokeless, etc. Normally the issue with smoke is neighbours having garden fires, but the council has powers to deal with any kind of nuisance.
Anyway given that's not the actual question, i would say avoid sleeping in there long term, and also get a loft vent system/positive input ventilation. It basically pulls in hopefully fresh air from the loft and blows it into the house so any cracks etc are under pressure so the smoke is forced out rather then in.

You really need to work out where the smoke is getting in and block it instead of expecting your neighbour to sort problems in your house.

if there is (or was) a fireplace, it may be coming through cracks in the brickwork. The brick between chimneys in adjacent rooms can be very thin, and often cracked.

Plaster blocks most holes and cracks in walls, so open cracks are likely to be where there is no plaster - behind skirting, below the floor, and above the ceiling. If you find any cracks, clean out the dust and dirt with a hoover then a water jet, then fill them with mortar, or with expanding foam (I use the pink fire grade which will also block flame or hot smoke)

If the joists go into the party walls, there are very likely gaps round them. It might be rising from the neighbours downstairs room and getting in under the floor.

At this time of year I think it is unlikely to be blowing out of the neighbour's window and into yours.