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POSITIVE stories about having children

48 replies

Beau2019 · 07/01/2020 15:09

Okay so surely I'm not alone in thinking that 75% of people talk negatively about having kids???

Oh your thinking about having a baby? - your life will never be the same, say goodbye to your freedom, happiness sleep etc etc etc.

Yes, I am WELL AWARE of the demands of having children. But please, can one person just turn around to me and say yeah, having kids was the best thing I ever did without saying it ruined their life?! It's so depressing.

We are currently TTC our first and the sheer worry of all the negatively people throw at you about having children is scaring me - what if it's so hard me and my partner resent each other and split up? What if it's as bad as everyone says and we will regret it? We are so ready for kids but please, someone feed me a positive here.

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Homer28 · 07/01/2020 15:13

Maybe its down to personalities and glass half empty/half full people and also luck of the draw with bad sleepers etc. but I love being a mum! Absolutely nothing like cuddling with your wee person and hearing I love you. Also enjoy the excuse to go trampolining, Pool to mess around etc etc that I didn't do pre kids! Also met lots of great mum friends - so in terms of lifestyle change, very much enjoyed the changes it brought! Obviously if someone lives for late night boozing and 12pm lie ins they are not going to enjoy parenting the same as someone who is a naturally early riser who likes to be on the go?

Rambling!

Thattwatoverthere · 07/01/2020 15:15

Your freedom, money and chances to sleep when you want will go down the pan BUT it's worth it.

My kids amaze me constantly. Seeing them grow and learn and become little people is so great to watch. Admittedly they're still under 2 but honestly, I'm obsessed by them.

I'm being woken constantly by my youngest at the moment so haven't had a full nights sleep in weeks but you get through it. It's kind of nice to have some one on one time with him too when everyone else is asleep. Coffee and chocolate help.

Ignore the people giving you negative stories. Yes everyone has them but for me the positives far outweigh the negatives.

Thornhill58 · 07/01/2020 15:16

We had a baby when I was 37 and my husband 45.
It's been an amazing experience. We have enjoyed 14 years so far and loved every minute of it.
We haven't struggled at all. Our son is very sweet and funny.
We were married for 16 years before we became parents. Our son is the best thing we've ever done. We are sorry time is running away. They grow too fast.
We didn't want any more children. One is the perfect number. Smile

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IDontDrinkTea · 07/01/2020 15:17

Having a child is hands down the best thing I’ve ever done. I can’t even tell you how much happiness my dd has brought into my life and she’s not even a year old.

She was really quite poorly a few months ago and when she was finally getting better she laughed at this daft toy. I was so happy to hear her laugh again I actually cried

FramingDevice · 07/01/2020 15:21

If you need other people to egg you on (see what I did there?), do you really want to have a child?

Originalusernameunavailable · 07/01/2020 15:31

Having my 3 kids is the best thing I’ve ever done. They can be annoying at times (the 6&8 year old boys haha) but it’s also very funny. I have lots of moments where I have to just laugh because they are so amusing.
I hold down a part time job and yes we are never going to be rich but sacrificing that to be with my kids while they are young is never something I have considered changing.

Elliesmommy · 07/01/2020 15:31

I had 3 in 3 years. Yes it's hard but the positives out weigh the negatives. Their little personalities come though , their chat, their own little jokes. Honestly life would be so boring and unmeaningful without them. The hardest part is the sleep deprivation but hey you can sleep when you are dead.

timeforawine · 07/01/2020 15:34

The snuggles as babies, every new thing they discover the look on their faces, like when my daughter saw a glitter lamp for the first time she was so mesmerised with it, the first time they say i love you, when they give the best cuddles, the sheer joy on their face when you pick them up from nursery and they charge at you for a hug :-D
I've only got one and it's not been too hard, yes there is less sleep (not always as bad as it's made out) but all the other stuff makes up for it

Beau2019 · 07/01/2020 15:35

Thank you all for such lovely stories! I loveeeee to hear them.

@FramingDevice No I do not need 'egging on'... we've both wanted kids our whole life and have been trying for a while, it's not about that at all. I am just sick of everyone being so negative about having children and it puts a real downer on the experience. What's wrong with inviting a bit of positivity in life?

OP posts:
Beau2019 · 07/01/2020 15:36

@Homer28 no you make complete sense! We aren't party goers at all (quote boring for 28 & 30 really) and we are big kids at heart! We do so many kiddy things together I just can't wait to share that with a child.

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timeforawine · 07/01/2020 15:37

And with mine when she randomly sings to herself, dances round the living room, loves showing off her twirly dresses, is always wanting to share with her friends, knows when your sad or tired and comes and gives cuddles to cheer you up, if poorly she'll bring her blanket over to me on the sofa and she's only 3, they are so cute! Don't get me wrong she can have an attitude sometimes but it's a tiny part of it all

applesnotoranges · 07/01/2020 15:38

I have 1 did - the best thing we ever did and the light of our lives. It was hard when she was younger but I do not regret it at all. She is now at uni and I miss her do much.

Go for it - and good luck xxx

BatleyTownswomensGuild · 07/01/2020 15:39

I'm not going to pretend it's all easy but the highs definitely outweigh the lows. I never thought I could love another human being the way I love DS. ❤️

Thatagain · 07/01/2020 15:43

TBF educate yourself beforehand. I've gave birth to 3 dcs and been a stepmum to 1 so 4 dcs and not one bad thing to say about being a perent apart from when they move out you miss them Madley. When they were younger they all slept good (I didn't miss out on any sleep) it's hard work with cooking fresh food on a daily basis. I think that is what helped them settle. Takeing them all to the park days out making every day something different. My youngest is 14 and I've not ever had to tell him no or tell him off for anything. He is a blessing and it's a pleasure being his mum. No bad things about being a perent. Children can be expensive I think every penny is worth it. Oh and personly I think boys are more loving and caring and like to look after their mums more then girls.

whistleinthewind · 07/01/2020 15:44

When at 5months old you see this little personality who learns all the time it's amazing. Watching them become people is truly a gift. You'll not watch a tv show uninterrupted, sleep through the night or look at a korma the same for quite a while.... but that smile every time she sees me walk in and knows I haven't forgotten her makes me weep.

Negativity on these boards is often just a snapshot without the bigger picture, and sometimes comes from families where support isn't equal

PottersParties · 07/01/2020 15:53

I was a late riser who liked holidays and parties. Turns out hanging out with babies and toddlers is a lot like hanging out with your tipsy mates (a lot more poo chat tbf) they are your besties no matter what and are bloody hilarious.

If I went back in time and told myself I’d be waiting excitedly for them to wake up I wouldn’t believe it. But I do!

Botherfreedays · 07/01/2020 15:56

No one ever tells you how much you'll love them Smile

SallyWD · 07/01/2020 16:00

My kids exhaust me and I'm often stressed out because of them BUT I wouldn't be without them. They are funny, mad and loving, keep me on my toes and there's never a dull moment when they're about! I really enjoy being a mum. Maybe it's not PC to say this but I feel fulfilled being a mum, like I have a purpose and focus in life. It's amazing watching them change and develop. It's good fun (most of the time) and I love loving them and seeing how they love me. Their happiness is much more important to me than my own.

Liland · 07/01/2020 16:01

It's both the hardest and best thing I've ever done :) The incredible love outweighs all the struggles entirely. I would have a football team of them if it were practical (although in reality me and DP are still working out whether a second makes financial sense).

Soontobe60 · 07/01/2020 16:20

Your life DOES change when you have children. Not for better or worse, just differently.
My two DDs have given me sleepless nights, tears, financial ruin, anxiety, stretch marks, etc etc , but they have also enriched my life beyond my wildest dreams. And now a grandchild has been born, that feeling is even stronger.

yellowallpaper · 07/01/2020 16:35

I don't know who your friends are but my friends have never said this and neither have I. Yes, they drive you mad occasionally but you love then unconditionally and that's all there is to it.

Londongirl86 · 07/01/2020 16:47

It's naturally a sort of joke you make once you have kids. They are a nightmare. You'll never sleep again etc. But of course it's a wonderful thing. Hence why many have more than one.

I absolutely love my kids. It was what I wanted. I don't regret it. They are funny. They are rewarding. Highlights for me were the early days. There is nothing better than that newborn bubble. People say it's so hard. You feel like a carcrash etc. For me it wasn't that. Yes I felt abit sickly and tired at times. But it was blissful. Especially with my first. I loved showing her off. I loved our snuggles. Probably sounds sad but when she was really tiny I loved snuggling up with her and watching one born every minute. I personally loved the journey to motherhood and nothing beats the scans and the anticipation of a new baby.

The milestones are also a huge rewarding positive thing. Everything from smiles, laughs, first foods, crawling, walking, talking.

Then the trips to the parks, summer, birthdays, days out to parks and zoos, holidays, baking with them. Snuggles with them. Christmas and how the magic lights them up. Easter. Bedtime stories. Watching them learn to play. Seeing them do little things like dance or sing. Learn to read. Start writing.

I've been a a sahm with mine. My eldest is now at school aged nearly 5. She loves school and she was so ready for more routine and structure. But I do miss those early years when she was at home watching peppa pig with spaghetti hoops at dinner. We could get up and go out when we wanted. That said seeing her learn at school is so rewarding. The school runs are good as we are up and ready for the day. I now have her little brother at home aged two. So we have our days pottering around. I absolutely love them.

The things I personally find hard is mine never both seen to go to sleep early enough. So there's often still one awake at 9pm. So evenings have gone for me and my partner. I do miss sitting with him and watching a film sometimes.

When your kids have stomach bugs or are ill it's hard. I find the sick bugs a hard part of parenting and hate every second.

Keeping the house tidy now I've got two kids is hard. I sometimes do get down about it and feel I'm chasing my tail. Mucky walls and toys everywhere. Everyone dumps random stuff on the kitchen sides and I hate the clutter.

If you have family child care it can hugely help. In my case we don't. So therefore there's no date nights or trips to the cinema for us. Maybe once a year if we are lucky!

There's lots more positive reasons than bad. They certainly have enriched my life in a good way. Id feel empty without them. K would also feel lonely without a family.

I say enjoy your journey. Don't let people patronise you about it. Your life will be different xx

RosieposiePuddingandPi · 07/01/2020 16:49

I think it's much easier to focus on the negative things and it's certainly bloody hard work but I would never change anything about my 2.
DD is such a sweet happy little thing and her toothy grin makes my heart soar.
DS is just amazing and watching him exploring the world just makes it a much better place.

It IS very hard work and definitely has some very low lows but they're balanced by some amazing highs. Having my children is far and away the best thing I have ever done.

ToTravelIsToLive · 07/01/2020 16:59

we're 4 months into parenthood and in my experience before you have children you get comments about having no life and sacrifices but once your a parent you get all positive comments. So far it's been exactly what I expected. My life revolves around my son. I can't go anywhere without him yet, I've been sleep deprived, I've cried to myself and husband and I've put things on hold to look after him but when he smiles his toothless grin at me, falls asleep in my arms and "chats" to me I feel like the luckiest woman in the world

Bol87 · 07/01/2020 18:34

I think it’s human nature & for a large part very British to joke (or not joke) about the negative parts. I’m always chuckling with colleagues about the horrors of my toddler, the lack of sleep, the battle of wills, the fussy eating etc etc but it’s on the whole in jest. And honestly, sometimes I just need to whinge & to talk it out! I never mean to freak out my colleagues without children! Next time someone says something, just laugh with them & ask, oh but would you change it? Would you not have them? I bet no-one will say yes!

Your life changes. You have to adjust. I think it’s actually a positive to prepare yourself for it. Rather than it being a huge shock! I also realise in hindsight that it’s perfectly OK to not love every minute (or both pregnancy & parenthood). It doesn’t make you a bad parent. It makes you human. I feel so much more comfortable going into second child parenting as I admit I hate pregnancy. It makes me really ill for 40 weeks. I can’t wait for March & to never be pregnant again! And I know parenting a baby isn’t always magically wonderful! And that’s OK!

There are so many positives - the smiles & giggles from your baby. Their look of wonder when they find their hands or a toy etc. Their beautiful little faces! As a toddler, it’s incredible watching them learn to walk & talk & grow into proper little people with personalities! One of my fav things at the mo is my daughter bombing across nursery to give me a hug at pick up! 🧡 & they love you unconditionally. No.1.

I wouldn’t change being a mum for anything.