POSITIVE stories about having children

[Beau2019]

Okay so surely I'm not alone in thinking that 75% of people talk negatively about having kids???

Oh your thinking about having a baby? - your life will never be the same, say goodbye to your freedom, happiness sleep etc etc etc.

Yes, I am WELL AWARE of the demands of having children. But please, can one person just turn around to me and say yeah, having kids was the best thing I ever did without saying it ruined their life?! It's so depressing.

We are currently TTC our first and the sheer worry of all the negatively people throw at you about having children is scaring me - what if it's so hard me and my partner resent each other and split up? What if it's as bad as everyone says and we will regret it? We are so ready for kids but please, someone feed me a positive here.

Having my twins is the best thing that has ever happened to me

I LOVE being a mum! I have an only DC and life is good.

I waited until I'd had wild partying days and lots of fun.
If I'd known how cool my kids were going to be I would've started earlier for sure.

I remember feeling like this when I was pregnant!! I was sick the whole way through my pregnancy, I'm also a mature student so I completed two placements, multiple assessments and worked over 50hours most weeks. And people constantly said things like "oh you think you feel bad now, wait until the baby comes, haha!". Absolute morons.

My lg is now 7 weeks old so I'm still in the thick of those early days, and I overthink everything, I'm still tired - sometimes find myself trying to put the cereal in the fridge and the milk in the cupboard! But I really am loving it. I've definitely cried when she's cried, but I've spent more time feeling amazed that I'm her mum, watching the smiles turn into real smiles that light up her whole face, and laughing at her determined little grunts when she tries to grab the toys on her bouncer! She's 7 weeks old and her face lights up when she sees one of her little story books - how can a 7 week old have a favourite book?! It's mad, and brilliant and just makes my heart happy.

People love to share negative stories and try to out do one another with their bad experiences, ignore them as best you can, you'll have your own journey and it doesn't have to be like that!

Thank you all for these messages - they are so heart warming! I'm certainly trying to invite more positivity this year, sick to death of negative people and negative comments.

I met a girl at a wedding last year and when I told her I couldn't wait to have a children, she turned around and said "DON'T WAIT! It's the best thing we ever did." I just love that.

It's not about wanting encouragement or seeking approval to have children, I just want to hear the good things. It makes me more excited than I already am and certainly helps with any worries so thank you!

Don't worry. Nobody ever looks at their kids and thinks I really wish I didn't have you. The thought of them not being here is a horrible thought. You will be a wonderful mum. I think some people forget how it felt at the stage you are at. I hope you fall pregnant soon.

Thank you @Londongirl86 x

I've loved having kids. For me the positives have far out weighed any negatives.
My 13 year old ds is hilarious and great company. My dd is 17. She was tricky for a tiny bit as a teenager. She's lovely now. Really interesting to talk to.
Both work hard at school. They got on well and are lovely to be with apart from when they both regress to 8 year olds and are v silly together but even that is quite funny.

Definitely the best thing, even though we haven't got as nice a house or been on as many luxury holidays as my childless friends.

We have 2 with 14m apart. Yes, some days are tougher than others but our kids are generally brilliant. (Unless they're being absolute little shits and not sleeping like last night 🙈)

They bring far more highs than lows. They see joy in the smallest things and it's only when you stop rushing about that you realise how wonderful that actually is.

They love you unconditionally and they really will enrich your life. People that say you can't do xyz when you've got a child are talking out of their arse. You can do whatever you want. You just have to factor in time and money and likely a different itinerary to what you would've done as just 2 adults. We've been on holiday, out for meals (more like 5:30pm than 8pm with the kids!), travelled about, been to the cinema, etc etc. Not in the same capacity as before, but a new normal. It's hardly the end of the world!

It all just depends on your attitude. To me, my kids are another of my life’s adventures.
Sometimes I’m the guide, taking them to places, reading books that I want to share and teaching them about the world around them.
Sometimes theyre my guide. I’ve gone to places physically, mentally and emotionally that I never would have without them.
It’s wonderful.

Well honestly, we never wanted kids because I loved my life. I got to 36 and changed my mind. It was an arduous journey but we got our boy and he’s 9 months old.
I was actually quite angry that no one told me how hard it would be. Quite the opposite from your experience, most people told me it’d be the best thing we’d ever do, that a newborn baby is portable, will fit into your lifestyle, will just sleep and feed and that I can basically catch up on box sets and go for long leisurely walks in the countryside. In reality it was nothing like that. My boy was poorly at birth so was in special care until he has six weeks old, and then he screamed incessantly for weeks on end and we couldn’t put him down. We then spent quite a long time trying to get him into some sort of routine for my sanity and for his. And I went from not being able to leave the house to having to be out as much as possible.
I knew it would be hard, but it was without doubt the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I wish someone had prepared me for it properly.
He was about 6 months old when I really started to enjoy him and now he’s my little sidekick and a joy. We’re all getting sleep, he’s plays with toys, likes going for walks and is sociable. Even if you have a tough day, when I walk into his room on a morning and he flashes a massive grin my heart melts.
It’s still the toughest thing we’ve ever done and our previous lifestyle has all but disappeared and been replaced with a new one, but it’s all for the better in my opinion.
It really is worth it but the newborn baby phase is not for me!!!
He stayed out for the first time on Saturday night and the best thing about it was lazing around in bed watching tv and drinking tea! It was bliss. But I still missed him and couldn’t wait to see him.
I wouldn’t have been able to do any of this without my husband being 50% hands on day and night and I think that makes a massive difference to the experience you’ll have and how it impacts on your relationship. I couldn’t love him any more right now.
We’re not having a second though!!

Also I can’t explain how wonderful it is to look at a little human that you created and see them learning and doing new things all the time, and watch their fascination with the world unfold. It’s nothing short of incredible!

Your children will be the best people in your life, you will be incomplete awe and admiration of them. They will make you a better person (overall, but possibly not the last few days of the school holdiays).

It is hard work though, you don't get all the good stuff without putting a serious shift in. And, you don't get sick days or duvet days, so no "I'm not in the mood today".

Yes, I am WELL AWARE of the demands of having children

Sorry but you aren't, your DC hasn't been born yet.

I think parenting is completely awful but also completely wonderful. I have never loved anything so much in all my life but the flipside for me there is the constant worry - the thought of him ever getting hurt or being unhappy just breaks my heart and that is what I have found most difficult to cope with.

The drudgery side of it is just that - drudgery. That gets much easier to cope with as time goes on and you adjust to a new way of living. It's the emotional side of parenting I find most difficult.

Nobody ever looks at their kids and thinks I really wish I didn't have you.

Sorry but that is utterly untrue. In the midst of postnatal depression or illness, plenty of women have thought that. I work in maternal mental health and it is so unbelievably common.

Anyway, it's also worth remembering that a lot of people will have the opposite experience during pregnancy. When I was pregnant I was just bombarded with stories of how wonderful it all was, and how it would give my life purpose etc, and how amazing it was to be a mother - then DS was born and it was so much harder than I ever could have imagined that I actually said to my own mother - why didn't you warn me?!

They really are the best.

It's hard work (I have a hyper, smart, non sleeper-just like me) and I wouldn't exchange it for anything. She drives me mad but is wonderful at the same time. We only had one due to medical issues but it means that we can still enjoy traveling etc easier

People don't talk about the good bits so much because it sounds smug and maybe insensitive to someone who is having a hard time.

You give up a lot to have kids and that can be hard to bear, even if you have a good (and easy) time of it.

It's a bit like how you might go on about a new partner but no one wants to hear you going on about still loving your husband of many years.

I've got some friends who can't have children (or I don't know if they want children) and I'd never tell them about how my heart swells every time I see DS because it wouldn't be fair. Instead I tell them about the time he did a huge shit all over my skirt because that's more entertaining.

I think when it comes to talking about being a parent it's either funny stories, asking for advice or needing a bit of sympathy. No one needs me blubbing after a glass of merlot because I love my boy more than anything in the world.

Good luck with TTC OP.

This made me smile. I remember how annoying all the terrible stories are when you're not a parent. But when you are, you will understand a lot of it. Kids are hard work, it's the hardest thing you'll ever do.

However, it's also amazing. And since I had my second I appreciate so much more than I did the first time round. I definitely moan less about lack of sleep etc. They make me smile and laugh every day. My daughter has just turned 4 and I love the little conversations we now have and enjoying the things she loves together. And now watching her adore her new baby brother makes me happier than anything. They can still be little monsters when they want to be though haha

I am double blessed, my 12 month old grandson has been living with me nearly 2 months YES I’m exhausted NO I haven’t been to the toilet by myself in 7 weeks and YES I miss washing my hair at my own speed but I wouldn’t change a thing, I don’t know how long he’ll be here so I’m making the most of every smile, every cuddle, all the laughter and mischief while I can - he gives me life, every minute of every day 💙

My daughter is the absolute joy of my life. I’m fatter and more tired than before I had her but listening to her make up stories “mummy there’s a pink lion on my potty eating a raccoon” or “look after” me when I am sick or tumbling around with her and DH is the best thing in the world. Yes she has tantrums, yes I’m tired and there’s a lot of poop but cuddles and laughter and watching her learn about the world and develop her personality is utterly worth it.