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Original poster

How early is too early to take a baby to a family wedding?

52 replies

Toastytoes1 · 15/12/2019 16:42

I’m currently 26 weeks pregnant with my first and my sister’s wedding is just 2 weeks after my due date. I’m already prepared for the fact that I might not be able to go if baby is late but had been hoping that maybe if she’s a little early or on time (or near enough) it shouldn’t be a problem. Today my husband has said he doesn’t think its a good idea we take her at all, depending when she’s born of course but really we do know she’s likely to be very young and he’s said today that he just feels worried that she’ll be too young to be exposed to so many people with all their germs in one place. I said of course we wouldn’t let just anyone and everyone touch her or pick her up but even so, he’s worried. I’m extremely close to my sister and the idea of not going to her wedding really upsets me but to be completely honest; I’d been so focused on ‘if I can get there, of course I’ll be there’ rather than really thinking about whether or not a newborn should be at such a large gathering in the first place. The wedding is also on the other side of the country which adds to the difficulty. My husband suggested perhaps if we do go, he could stay at a hotel with baby all day whilst I go to the wedding so at least I don’t miss out but the wedding isn’t that close to any hotels and I hope to breastfeed but even if I don’t, I already know I don’t want to be separated from her for a full day or even half a day that soon. I know we can’t ultimately make any decision until she’s actually here and we know how old she’ll be but I hadn’t really even thought about it before like this so now hearing my husband say he’s worried about it makes me feel I’ve massively overlooked this and would be really interested to know what other parents think about how soon is too soon to let a baby go to a big wedding? Thank you.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

AccioCoffee · 15/12/2019 16:46

Never too early surely it's the perfect time as they sleep all day and won't be fussy

Notnownotneverever · 15/12/2019 16:49

2 weeks old would be pretty young. And it would be hard to police the not letting lots of people holding him or her.
What about making a weekend of it. Going to a hotel, going to help you sister get ready, skip the ceremony and stay at the hotel with the baby. Then leave the baby and your DH at the hotel and go to the meal part of the wedding.
Or the opposite, go to the ceremony, go back feed the baby and have a meal at hotel with your DH & baby then all go to the evening reception with the baby in a sling so people can’t hold him/her.

Didntwanttochangemyname · 15/12/2019 16:49

No such thing as too early, if you feel up to it, go for it.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

2nd trimester Families General parenting General pregnancy

PotteringAlong · 15/12/2019 16:50

The thing is, this is a “how long is a piece of string” thing. Glossing over the fact that all 3 of mine were born at 42 weeks, I couldn’t have gone physically at 2wpp with my first, I would have been fine and dandy and had a complete blast with my 2nd and wouldn’t have been able to do it mentally with my 3rd.

The big gathering wouldn’t have bothered me, even before jabs. The journey there might be more problematic depending on the type of birth you have.

Clangus00 · 15/12/2019 16:50

It will really depend on how YOU feel.

misspiggy19 · 15/12/2019 16:50

You need to wait and see how you feel after the birth. Don’t commit to anything.

Hangingtrousers · 15/12/2019 16:50

I took my dd to a wedding at 3 weeks. Was fine.. she slept most of the time.

BritInUS1 · 15/12/2019 16:52

We flew from UK to Ireland and my sister when my nephew was 6 weeks old for my nephews wedding

I would see how you feel

Avebury · 15/12/2019 16:52

Popping the baby in a sling can help stop people constantly wanting to hold them. They are likely to sleep pretty solidly too. I did this with a newborn at a friend's wedding.

Lamentations · 15/12/2019 16:54

Hopefully. As a PP says, baby will sleep all day. Wedding outfits to BF in are a pain to find though.

gingercat02 · 15/12/2019 16:56

We had an almost 6 week old at our wedding and a friend brought her 9 day old to a mutual friend's wedding. Never too early as long a you are both well and Dad us willing to stay reasonably sober and help out

Bythebeach · 15/12/2019 16:56

I took my firstborn to a wedding aged 3 weeks. They’re often easier that age than older; more sleepy and less needs. It was reasonably effortless. Bride was a close friend and she allowed me to make a decision a week before wedding. Baby was breastfed so it was easy!
Also, and this is worth checking,I belt at birth baby has passive immunity from the mother which I believe wanes over the first couple of months.

BikeRunSki · 15/12/2019 16:57

The baby will probably be fine to take to a wedding when she’sa few days old, assuming no special care etc. You, on the other have may be bleeding heavily, leaking milk, nursing stitches or a c section scar and will be exhausted. I’d still go.

I think the trickiness may be if the baby hasn’t come yet, and whether you risk going into labour at the wedding. Is it local for you?

DPotter · 15/12/2019 16:59

Don't feel you have to make a decision now and don't feel as if you can't change your mind once your baby is born.

I can understand your DH's worry - if you think turning up to a wedding with all your family with a new born and saying no one (or even worse a selected few) will be able to get near / hold the baby won't lead to all sorts of noses out of joint, you have a more amenable family than mine. and mine are pretty good. And that's without the worry of infection and bride being miffed as new born is centre of attention, or worse other people feeling miffed on her account.

I think your DH plan is a good one - he stays at the hotel, you go to the service, come back to feed, go off again for reception, and repeat.

You could go for part of the day - eg the service itself.

thecalmorchid · 15/12/2019 17:00

Get a good sling and wear your baby. Slings tend to give protection from well wishers. They will be able to hold a tiny hand, but if you keep wipes handy you'll be fine.

Also if breastfed the baby will have your protection anyway.

I'd take her. Go easy on yourself though, I needed quite a lot of support at that stage. I understand the germ worry, I was the same.

Selfsettling3 · 15/12/2019 17:03

How far away is it? Newborns can only be in car seats for 30 mins at a time.

cobwebsoncornices · 15/12/2019 17:18

A friend took her 5hr old baby to her brother's wedding! She missed the ceremony but was at waiting at the reception for them to arrive. It was her third and she'd always had straightforward labours. It was only delays with the discharge process that meant she had to miss the ceremony.

CottonSock · 15/12/2019 17:21

Impossible to decide now, don't put that stress on yourself

userabcname · 15/12/2019 17:22

I'd be more concerned about how you feel - bleeding, stitches, potentially an infection (I was on antibiotics at 2 weeks postpartem for both of my children's deliveries, one c section, one vaginal birth). However I do know at least 2 people who have managed weddings at a similar age and they were fine! Baby should probably be ok - be prepared to spend a lot of time feeding though.

Purpleartichoke · 15/12/2019 17:26

How are you going to actually travel? Baby can’t be in the car seat for very long at all at that age. Plus time for feedings.

mammmamia · 15/12/2019 17:27

I took my twins at 6 weeks to a family wedding - spent most of it in the hotel room as they were constantly feeding

Managed to get down when the dancing started with them asleep in a pram, my dinner had been saved for me and kept hot so all good!

I had a c section and couldn’t have made it any sooner though.

harrypotterfan1604 · 15/12/2019 17:35

I took my 6 week old to my aunts wedding. She was relatively easy but I was exhausted! I’d had a c section and a really rough time but felt up to it. I shouldn’t have stayed as long as I did though I pushed myself too far

Schoolchoicesucks · 15/12/2019 17:50

I was at a wedding when the bride and groom's baby arrived the night before the wedding (a couple of weeks early). The wedding went ahead the next day with the baby there.

StickyToffeeTart · 15/12/2019 17:55

See how it goes, if you're up to it a sling would be great, but don't feel bad if you're not ready! I went to a wedding ten days overdue, but I'd mentally prepared myself to bring a newborn with me. In retrospect it would have been horrible if DS has been a newborn at the wedding, he had horrible reflux and we spent the first two months coated in vomit 🤢 Being very pregnant at the wedding was fine though, even though everyone told me I wouldn't want to go

BertieBotts · 15/12/2019 17:59

Car seat travel time would concern me with a baby that young. You may also still be in recovery from birth. It's a big thing. If it was closer to home it might be doable but I think that long travel and no hotel nearby would be the killer.

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