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Parenting

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Original poster

To hire a nanny for the weekend?

41 replies

Youngmamaa2 · 30/11/2019 20:58

So me and DH have 2 DC, 2&a half and 9 months old. We don't have anyone that can watch the kids over night, my mums DH is a prick so won't let them stay over, and my DH family are a bunch of druggies so that's obviously a no.

We're desperate just to go away but abroad (Amsterdam) Friday midday/night till Sunday midday/night but obviously no childcare. What were left with is do we hire a nanny for that time to watch the kids. Is this a bad thing to do? Does anyone have any experiences? Or do we just face that'll wel never get a night alone again till my mum leaves her DH 😂

OP posts:

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fascinated · 30/11/2019 21:03

Is it not a bit cruel to suddenly disappear and leave your kids with a stranger for several days? Mine would be distraught! Surely you’d need to get to know the nanny really well first?

OrangeZog · 30/11/2019 21:03

Are you likely to get a nanny for that period of time? Assuming from your post that your children have never been away from you, there is a very strong likelihood that they will be very distressed and won’t understand. They will be with someone they don’t know and unhappy, whilst you won’t be able to quickly get back to them.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 30/11/2019 21:05

I think if you are able to budget for a weekly/fortnightly set babysitter for date nights or even just odd lunches, then that person would be the ideal to then book for overnight.

Would you be able to truly relax knowing your dc are with someone they do not know at all for a few days and nights?

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pinkcardi · 30/11/2019 21:06

I would do this, and have done similar in the past. You need a break.

We have used unknown babysitters for various reasons. There might be some initial tears but they'll settle. An experienced nanny should be able to settle them quickly, it's their job to make the children happy and ensure they are well looked after.

Solasum · 30/11/2019 21:06

Forgive me if I am missing the obvious, but couldn’t your mum stay at yours, if her H won’t let them stay at their house? Better for the kids to be somewhere familiar

Landlubber2019 · 30/11/2019 21:06

How can you be so desperate for a holiday that you will leave a baby and toddler with a stranger

SomeHalfHumanCreatureThing · 30/11/2019 21:07

Weird..

Original poster

Youngmamaa2 · 30/11/2019 21:07

Of course we'd have the person watch them a couple of times prior, before leaving. We wouldn't just leave them with some randomer 😂

OP posts:

Original poster

Youngmamaa2 · 30/11/2019 21:08

And no my mum can't come to our house, she has 2 young sons under 6 and her partner is controlling

OP posts:

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 30/11/2019 21:10

Of course we'd have the person watch them a couple of times prior, before leaving. We wouldn't just leave them with some randomer

Well in fairness your post didn't read this way.

Original poster

Youngmamaa2 · 30/11/2019 21:13

Sorry, yeah I would definitely have them watch them every week/ other week for a couple of months so they'd get to know them

OP posts:

stucknoue · 30/11/2019 21:15

It's possible, there's also places which "board" young kids (mostly designed for working parents who travel for work). But they are only young for a short time, very few parents with kids that young go overseas without their kids ... a hotel a shortish drive from your home meaning you can return home if necessary is better for a first child free break. I was lucky that once a year my parents babysat for a few days but unfortunately I had to work during these days, I did hire a sitter for 5 nights once but my kids were teens so just needed someone to ensure they didn't do something stupid

TheSmallAssassin · 30/11/2019 21:21

Can't you just book a babysitter and go for a night out together regularly?

drspouse · 30/11/2019 21:24

We had a babysitter that DS was used to come and stay the night and we went away for one night for our 10th anniversary. As it turns out, his CM said she'd have had him overnight (but we didn't like to ask).

Landlubber2019 · 30/11/2019 21:27

Sorry I can't offer advice on how you do this, even if you plan your kids to meet the nanny on a "couple" of occasions it's a dreadful idea as this is trip of choice and not necessity and your kids will be too young to understand, that you have gone but will be returning in days.....

Landlubber2019 · 30/11/2019 21:29

Get a regular babysitter and start having nights out instead.

Lolimax · 30/11/2019 21:29

Could you ask in school if a TA might be willing to do it?

Bluerussian · 30/11/2019 21:31

I think your children are too young to be without both parents for two nights, they're babies.

TheSmallAssassin Sat 30-Nov-19 21:21:48
Can't you just book a babysitter and go for a night out together regularly?
........
Yes, that sounds like a compromise.

Before you know it both children will be at school and having sleepovers at their friends' houses, then you may be able to go abroad for a short break.

Yoollyball · 30/11/2019 21:33

Why does I have to be abroad - this isn't something most people feel is a must with such young children - would you even enjoy it being so far away?

As pp have said you would be better with a regular babysitter ( who is happy to do an overnight occasionally) and having nights out then the odd one night way - that you can return easily from in an emergency.

Aridane · 30/11/2019 21:33

Clearly OP you are destined never to have a weekend away by yourself intel said children are 18 or older...

AnotherEmma · 30/11/2019 21:33

YANBU but if I were you I really wouldn't go abroad, for me personally it's too far away from DC and I would be very anxious.

Does it have to be Amsterdam, could you have a couple of nights away somewhere within a shorter distance? You don't have to go far to feel like it's a complete change without kids in tow!

Landlubber2019 · 30/11/2019 21:47

aridane not helpful.

I am sure when the kids are in school it will be different

XXcstatic · 30/11/2019 21:48

Take the DC to Amsterdam but have babysitters while there? Not the same as child-free time, I know, but they are so little that I doubt you'll get much mental downtime if you leave them here - you'll be worrying about them and it will spoil the break. Amsterdam is a compact city, so you could easily arrange for babysitting at the hotel, then pop back every few hours.

Or try your plan but go away in the U.K. the first time, then Amsterdam next time.

TheCanyon · 30/11/2019 21:49

I think it's a really shit choice tbf. Why can't you take the dc with you?

Caterina99 · 01/12/2019 00:41

I think that’s just life to be honest. My kids are 2 and 4 and I’d love a weekend away with DH, but it’s not going to happen anytime soon as we really don’t have anyone to look after them for that length of time.

My friend did what you are suggesting though, and I’m not against it if I had the right babysitter. They have a babysitter they loved and used regularly and she agreed to stay at their house for a weekend trip away. The kids loved it.

Do you have a regular babysitter for date nights and also maybe some weekend day time hours? That definitely helps us to keep our sanity

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