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Parenting

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Original poster

To hire a nanny for the weekend?

41 replies

Youngmamaa2 · 30/11/2019 20:58

So me and DH have 2 DC, 2&a half and 9 months old. We don't have anyone that can watch the kids over night, my mums DH is a prick so won't let them stay over, and my DH family are a bunch of druggies so that's obviously a no.

We're desperate just to go away but abroad (Amsterdam) Friday midday/night till Sunday midday/night but obviously no childcare. What were left with is do we hire a nanny for that time to watch the kids. Is this a bad thing to do? Does anyone have any experiences? Or do we just face that'll wel never get a night alone again till my mum leaves her DH 😂

OP posts:

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Expressedways · 01/12/2019 00:59

I completely sympathise, we don’t have any family on the same continent and we do use (background checked, reviewed) ‘randoms’ from babysitting websites for nights out. However, I wouldn’t dream of leaving such young kids with an occasional babysitter whilst you’re in another country for several nights. Go to Club Med and use their bedtime clubs, go to Amsterdam if you like and get babysitting through the hotel concierge whilst you’re there, have lots of local evenings out etc.... you can have adult time together.

Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons · 01/12/2019 01:04

I would just take the kids with us...
However I do know a childminder who does this occasionally for some families that she childminds for (when they have international work trips)

mindutopia · 01/12/2019 11:42

Yes, it’s a thing. Lots of people do it and you can speak to a nanny agency. I forget what the term is, but it’s definitely a thing. Unless you never plan to have a night away until your youngest is 18, if you don’t have family help, there is not much else you can do.

We’ve never done it, but will eventually when youngest is bit older (pets school. My mum isn’t able to watch ours anymore. She lives abroad anyway and can’t drive (we live very rurally), but she’s recently gone through cancer treatment and just isn’t well enough to look after young children overnight - unless maybe they were teenagers. MIL isn’t allowed to (she also has health issues), but really it’s do to safety concerns about her behaviour and her partner. No other family who can help except a great aunt, who is lovely, but doesn’t live near us.

We go away lots individually and as a family, but having a night or two away as a couple is really important. I wouldn’t hesitate to do it when dc are older and we have the money. Obviously only after a nanny got to know them well and we built up a trusting relationship first.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

6-9 months old 9-12 months old Babies & sleep Families

mindutopia · 01/12/2019 11:44

*have no idea what ‘pets school’ means! That was meant to say when youngest is 3 and old enough to understand what’s happening.

MustardScreams · 01/12/2019 11:45

Take the nanny/babysitter to Amsterdam with you - you can spend the day with the children and then head out in the evening.

I’ve done this a couple of times with dd and it’s perfect. She’s having a great time, and I know she’s safe but I can still enjoy myself with some of the pressure taken off. I’m a single mum though, so if I didn’t do it that way I’d never have a break on holiday!

Agree terms and time off with the nanny beforehand though, so they know what’s expected of them.

ballsdeep · 01/12/2019 11:45

I think you're being selfish. They are so little and because you want a holiday you are up and leaving them with a complete stranger?

BrokenLogs · 01/12/2019 11:46

I think yabu. We were in the same situation, lived abroad with no family so I do understand. But I wouldn't have left DC with a nanny for the weekend to go to Amsterdam.

MustardScreams · 01/12/2019 11:47

It’s not selfish in the slightest to want time away from your children, what’s with all the parent shaming?!

If you RTFT @ballsdeep you’ll see op has said they’ll know them before they go away.

ballsdeep · 01/12/2019 12:02

I have thanks, but they're not going to know them well are they? A few times baby sitting and then up and leave.

bgegmum · 01/12/2019 12:06

Don't think it's selfish but unless I knew the person well I wouldn't do it. My kids are 6 and 4 and have only just left them with family members for a weekend in Amsterdam this year. I have had weekends without them and left them with family but I was never far incase something happened. Even this year I was really worried being abroad away from the kids but knew they were in good hands.
Getting someone other than my family to watch my kids is a big no no for me but each to their own. Yes you need a break but do you really need to take the whole weekend abroad when they are so young rather than a night at the cinema?

mathsquestions · 01/12/2019 12:17

Remember contented parents make good parents.

HollowTalk · 01/12/2019 12:59

Remember contented parents make good parents.

And selfish parents make terrible parents, too!

OP, surely you knew, before you got pregnant, that everything changed once the babies were born, as you have no family support? What made you think you could go on holiday without them? What sort of families do you mix with? Do they all leave their children to go on holiday?

SheChoseDown · 01/12/2019 13:02

Do any of your friends use childcare provision? Could they recommend someone from their nursery, or their child minder? It's a long time to leave your kids with a stranger though.
It'll cost a few bob!!
Could you perhaps hire someone to take with you?

ColdRainAgain · 01/12/2019 13:21

Start small, an evening out here, a couple of hours one afternoon there, and see how it goes.

Personally, we didn't leave them that young. That's not to say we didnt go away - just not as a childless pair. Both of us traveled with work. Both of us went away for stag dos/ hen dos/ significant birthdays of friends. We had evenings out together.

Amsterdam is fab - but leave it a couple of years, and then take the kids with you!

parrotfashionista · 01/12/2019 13:23

We have done this a couple of times but with their regular nanny. And we've only gone for one night - less than an hour away. We even took her on holiday with us. We will build up to having a weekend away eventually.

I'd build it up so they know and like the nanny before doing an overnight. And beware of the cost - for 24 hrs you are looking £200 to £250 unless you can find someone cheaper. Which doesn't always make a trip away worthwhile.

As per previous posters have said you could look at hotels that are very kiddy focused I.e Woolley Grange. I believe there is also a child friendly hotel in Lisbon called Martinhal which is expensive but provides childcare.

Harrysmummy246 · 01/12/2019 16:25

We just took Ds (age 2) to Rome with us and had apartment rather than hotel room. We still spent plenty of time together and saw the city but Ds doesn't go to bed for even my mum never mind a relative stranger

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