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Parenting

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Original poster

How would you describe those first few weeks?

69 replies

glitterkitty · 21/08/2007 20:22

I was thinking of how to describe it realistically to a childless friend... this is my description.

Like being woken at various times throughout the night and made to put little glass beads on a metal tray in little batches of three, then carrying them gently to a very high shelf and sliding the tray on without moving a single bead- or you have to go back and start again.

Then when you finally do it right and go back to bed someone comes along and smashes the tray to the ground and you have to start over. This might happen 1 hour after you went back to bed- or 5 hrs or 5 mins. Random is the key.

At 5am you get up.

Repeated every night for 3 months.

Whats would yours be?

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MuffinMclay · 28/08/2007 21:55

Hell on earth for the first 12 weeks. Horrible, sleep-deprived torture.

After 8 years of ttc, all I could think was OMG I have made a huge mistake! I wanted someone (anyone) to take away this small alien that wuldn't stop screaming.
I used to sit on the sofa for hours on end, attempting to bf ds, and feeling so jealous of everyone walking or driving by because they were able to go out and about and do normal things like work and shopping.

Keep telling myself that it will be easier next time round....

puffylovett · 28/08/2007 21:57

headfuck for 3 weeks

then maniacally doing housework and ironing in a bid to prove to the world you're supermum

interspersed with sitting in a corner sobbing and gazing breathlessly at this beautiful tiny being you have created.

basically, headfucked.

PippiLangstrump · 28/08/2007 22:09

first two weeks on a hype, with DH and my mum at home I did not do much and even remember saying 'oh this is easy' even told the cleaner I would not need her anymore!!!
after they all went back to their lives and I was left stuck at home with my new one: HELL!!!!!! DD was an angel but I really resented not being free and see DH going out of the house etc.

hope to god second time round is easier. i think i mellowed down and resigned to my life as a mummy, which I now love.

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PippiLangstrump · 28/08/2007 22:10

ah yes and like puffylovett keeping the house cleaner than you'd normally do, to prove you are super mum and that you have actually done something that can be accounted for. I should have just slept with the baby...

liath · 29/08/2007 07:51

First baby - hell! I just didn't cope at all. Didn't start to enjoy motherhood until she was 6 months or so.

Second baby - lovely, can honestly say I really enjoyed the newborn stage . Ds was an easier baby in some ways (though feeds a lot - still up 3 hourly at night) and dd has been great with him.

schnorbitz · 29/08/2007 07:59

At the time I thought it was hell! I love my sleep and being woken up 5 times a night stumbling downstairs etc.... was like hell.

Looking back I now think it was the easiest part. Ok so i didn't get much sleep at night but I napped whilst DD slept in the day cleaned and tidied during another sleep.

It's now thats hard, she is awake all day, canostantly wants my attention and I can't get anything done and feel constantly knackered.

GooseyLoosey · 29/08/2007 08:18

Awful

One day I had a life where I read books, listened to music and went for walks with dh.

The next day, I had nothing but a bundle that screamed and demanded all of my attention for 24 hours a day. It was relentless. For months, I felt nothing for ds other than a sense of obligation.

It was without doubt one of the worst periods of my life.

Would say incase any expectant first time mothers are reading this that I now love ds and dd beyond words and it was all worth it.

Leela31 · 29/08/2007 14:19

It's comforting to know that I am not the only one who feels that life is hellish at the moment. Although I love my DDs (3yrs and 6 weeks) so much, I am finding the first weeks with a newborn really difficult. Keep bursting into tears, highly anxious (will she sleep for all of her lunchtime nap or not; how many times will she wake up tonight, how many nights can I handle 4hrs sleep? etc. etc.). I really am not enjoying it at all. No easier than first time around since also coping with highly demanding toddler.

How do you get through these first few months with two? For those who found it hellish, do you think you were depressed? Am I or is this just normal?

GooseyLoosey · 29/08/2007 14:43

Leela - don't know whether it is normal or not but I certainly found 2 very, very hard for the first few months. I think I just avoided thinking about it, gritted my teeth and got through one day at a time.

I'm sure everyone will tell you this, but it does get easier. My youngest child has just turned 3 and I no longer struggle to get though each day with them, indeed for the first time in the last year or so, I enjoy spending time with both of my children.

PetitFilou1 · 29/08/2007 14:58

Leela I had the hell on earth experience with ds and yes I think I had PND. Second time round first 8 or 9 months still very hard but no PND (just a very small age gap) - I just turn into psycho bitch on wheels when sleep deprived and once I start getting sleep again it is all fine. I'm now thinking about no3 - nature has a habit of drawing a veil over the past (as my dad would say) as while I know it was a crap time I have forgotten the detail!

And for UCM's benefit I b/f both of mine and dd until she was over 1.

Katy44 · 29/08/2007 15:13

We felt like the hospital had lent us something incredibly valuable to look after
We had no idea what to do with it and they hadn't given us the instructions
And they'd be checking up on how we were doing regularly

MrsTittleMouse · 29/08/2007 15:16

Exhausting!
The worst point were the day I was discharged from hospital. I hadn't slept for 5 nights due to long pre-labour, long active labour and DD almost dying (is fine now ) but just OK enough to go on the ward with me, so me checking her every 5 minutes to make sure she was breathing. That day, DD slept in the afternoon for 6 hours! I went to bed! But all the relatives turned up, so I was was woken up to see them . Then my horrible grandmother kept trying to wake DD up, so that she could "have a cuddle", even though we'd told her that the medical advice was that she was not to be passed around.
Then there was the day that DD cried and fed and clung to me all day, so that I couldn't eat a meal, and even going to the loo at breakneck speed was difficult. And then the horrible grandmother turned up, out of the blue, and was so thick skinned that she didn't even realise that it was a bad time even though I was still in my pajamas at tea time.
The lack of sleep would have been OK (I think) if I hadn't had to look after a very hungry DD and stress about falling asleep with her in my arms or on the sofa. And I think I could have dealt with the looking after DD all the time, if I hadn't been so tired.
Shame it's not an either/or isn't it?

wulfricsmummy · 29/08/2007 18:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

VeronicaMars · 29/08/2007 18:24

Everything that you knew and felt was so important just goes out the window because compared to your little baba nothing else in the world matters.

CatIsSleepy · 29/08/2007 18:32

am with hell on earth crowd
at first I was kind of delirious with the sleep deprivation and it was almost funny...
then I was just exhausted and weepy and stressed and dd never seemed to stop crying
and yes breast-feeding was awful to begin with and had me in the depths of despair

turned a bit of a corner when we got the first smile from her

am really hoping it will be better next time and I'll be able to enjoy it a bit more....

Smithagain · 29/08/2007 18:43

First time round - absolute torture, the worst of my life. And I didn't have depression or anything - just totally unprepared for baby care and breastfeeding.

Second time around - surprisingly easy and I got the chance to enjoy my baby that I didn't have the second time.

And that wasn't just because I knew what I was doing. DD1 was a very high need baby and DD2 slept all the time. I didn't know they really did that until she came along!

Biglips · 29/08/2007 18:47

i started to enjoy it when DD was 3 months old (she start sleeping thru @ 8 weeks). Before that...it was all a blur and i never got dressed before 12pm!!. I loved it though!

MrsTittleMouse · 29/08/2007 21:37

No wonder biglips, if your DB slept through at 8 weeks!
I slept through at 8 weeks, so I was all prepared for DD to do the same. She's just going through reliably now at 10.5 months, and it took 5 tries of CC.

I can remember laughing loads with DH though, not quite hysterical laughter... like the time when we were lying in bed at 2am (had just got DD off to sleep after a massive cluster feed) and we were suddenly very and were saying to each other "she'll never be 6 days old again". And then we realised quite how crazy we were!

PutThatInYourPipeandSmokeIt · 01/09/2007 22:54

Like somebody stole your snooze button!

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