Everything has changed need help !

[Newmum2b78]

Hi ladies,

I have a 5 week old daughter and I've found out I have breast cancer. She is ebf and I need to get her into formula. I'm so heartbroken having to do this but I have no choice. I tried her with a bottle and she had about an ounce and then refused. I tried expressing and mixed it with formula but she really doesn't want it. I think she still wants the comfort from me.
Any advice as to how to switch ?
Thank you x

Oh OP how awful and what horrendous timing when your DD is so young! Could you get someone else to try initially with the formula as she will smell the milk off of you!

My partner has tried too. I think because she is feeding so often she maybe isn't ever hungry enough. I made a bottle earlier and she fell asleep before I was ready !
It's rubbish timing, and I feel for her. I intended to feed her myself until she could be weaned. X

So sorry OP, I can’t even imagine how tough this is. I think eventually when she’s hungry enough she will take a bottle. Would be easier if she can’t smell you, can you go out for a whole day and leave her with daddy and formula ?

I hope so. My partner panics so I'm not sure he would cope with being left with bottles ! He's just tried her with some expressed milk and she just screamed. I went outside so she could smell or hear me. She won't even take a dummy just uses me as one.
He is going to try again first thing in the morning when she should be hungry x

You've managed 5 weeks and that's a great start for your little one! 💐 We had to abruptly stop breast feeding when I was admitted to hospital for a breast abscess so no chance to wean my 6 wk old at all. We used the pre-made stuff for a few weeks for handiness and then got into the routine of powders, kettles etc but it took a while to get slick at the timings!
Hope all goes well with your treatment.

I was thinking of trying pre made. We bought aptimal, but wonder if she doesn't like it. Might get some different pre made and see if we can find one she will accept.
I don't have long to convert her so will try anything x

Well we have tried everything, she just will not take a bottle. I guess I'm going to have to delay treatment unless anyone has a miracle answer. I'm so upset I just don't know what else to do xx

I'm so sorry OP, this is a very difficult situation.

To get mine to take the bottle, I did the bait and switch - breastfed him for a minute to get him started, then gave him the bottle once he'd got into sucking mode.

I've seen other threads, they tried warming the teat up so that it wasn't cold.

If your partner wouldn't be able to keep trying with the bottle, do you have parents or someone else that regularly looks after your daughter that would give it a good try?

I hope you find a solution soon.

I'm so sorry to hear this OP, what absolutely rotten timing, as if you havent enough to deal with!

What makes of bottle have you tried? It might be the teat shape as opposed to the taste of the formula?

I fed my DS for 5 weeks and then had to switch to formula for health reasons but he took to Mam bottles and Aptamil right away so dont really have experience of rejection, sorry

Can you try after she is somewhat fed, not ravenously hungry to take the panic away from her. No totally full, not starving. That always helped us.

I am so sorry. That is truely shit that you are going though this.

I've had an ad for 'Minbie' teats up on my FB recently - they have good reviews for BF babies. No personal experience though!

I've tried the mam teats she took it once but that was it ! Tried aptimal, sma, cow and gate and also hipp organi I've tried expressing to see if she would take it but she won't. Might give a different test a try.
Oh has tried and so has my mum and sister in law. She just screams. I find it really hard when she is upset so maybe I need to leave her, but I dont think I can. Maybe I'm too emotional and I know that time is ticking xx

I’m really sorry for such a rubbish situation. I think, hard as it will be, you need to go out & leave them to it. Maybe go somewhere with your mum while your partner feeds her. Stay out as long as you can.

As hard as it may be you might have to just bite the bullet and go out for the whole day and let OH/family feed her. She will eventually take something. It might be that shes sensing your anxiety or can smell your milk or knows you're around so theres another option for her. DS wouldnt take Nuk dummies or teats, but he was happy with Mam so maybe you just need to experiment with a wide range of teats? They're all very different.

OP that is the hardest news and with such a young baby. I really recommend getting real life support with the transfer from breast to bottle. It might sound odd but call one of the breastfeeding helplines. LLL 08451202918. The breastfeeding counsellors can give you suggestions and tools to transition from breast to bottle and how to keep yourself comfortable too. And support you emotionally. And explore all the other options available to you and help you make the right decision for you. How would you feel about donor milk? Hearts milk bank may be able to help too.

Sorry, cross-posted with @hoxt

I’m so sorry to hear you are going through this.
My son refused a bottle for months and months. I know it’s so frustrating to spend loads of money and stuff and it not work...
The only bottle I would perhaps suggest trying is the basic Sainsbury’s one. It’s about £2 so isn’t quite so painful but I know two people who have had success with it after trying loads of other stuff

Can I ask, do you think she gets the concept of sucking from a bottle? Or does she just play with the teat etc.

She has taken 2 bottles so I know she can do it, but just refuses now. I've ordered the nuk see is she prefers those teats but she won't even take a dummy.
Maybe I will just have to go out, even though it will be torture ! Thanks ladies for all your suggestions, I will try them all xx

My breastfed DD would only take Minbie teats for ages. Might be worth a try given the importance of getting her transitioned. At six weeks, she's not going to starve if she goes a few more hours between feeds than normal so if you haven't already, I think you need to go out for a good few hours, your partner needs to not panic and just keep trying with the bottle even though she'll be furious and will scream at him. You can't delay treatment for something so serious and an unpleasant couple of days might have to be the sacrifice. Thinking of you

Please don't delay treatment, having a healthy mum around will be far more beneficial then breastfeeding, even if that does mean having to let her get hungry enough to accept formula.

Have you tried other feeling methods? Maybe finger feeding (Google it) but basically a thin tube taped to your finger with the other end in a cup of milk. Baby sucks on your finger so still has the feeling
of skin and milk comes up tube.

It's a bit of a faff, but could be a temporary solution while you work on getting her to accept bottles.

I think you are all right, I might have to just go out for a while.. he will have to cope. The new teats should be here tomorrow, good old amazon ! I will leave her with him while I go to my mums, at least she can keep me company xx

This is a long time ago now but when my ds1 wouldn’t take a bottle the HV suggested soya baby milk as it’s sweeter , we didn’t use it long term but it did get us over the hummock .

Same thing happened to me, so my thoughts are with you. My DD just eventually took a bottle, so I can't offer any help.
She is now 6 years old and that tough year seems a lifetime ago.
Very best of luck with your treatment.

Thank you everyone. I will keep trying with everything you have suggested. I hope it will just click into place with her one day soon. Xx

I have a hard core bottle refuser but she will take milk from a Calpol syringe. This obviously isn’t a long term solution but might take the pressure off if your DD gets distressed during the transition. All the best