Too embarrassed to go to baby groups

[Newmum33]

My son is 8 weeks old and weighs 15lb 13oz. He was 11lb 4.5oz at birth and has remained steady on the 98th centile.

I know his healthy and his weight isn't anything to worry about but im so embarrassed that his this big.

Im overweight but short 5"2, my husband is 6"4.

I can't bring myself to go to baby groups as im worried I'll be judged about his size or the talk of the group. I can see people I know thinking im overfeeding him and making comment after comment about his size.

Has anyone else had this?

DD was tiny which was commented on a lot so I didn't have your worries.

However, if you don't want to go to baby groups don't go.
You can do the things you like or stay in and when he's walking and getting into things take him to things then that he will enjoy.

I doubt you will face any negativity. My ds was 9lb at birth and was around 14lb at 8 weeks. He was 28lb at one! 6ft3 now and skinny. I would get odd comments such as he's a big lad etc but nothing meant in a bad way. You will find all kinds of different people at the baby group. You could always go along one time and see what it's like?

I was once concerned that my DD was too big, and a midwife said very cheerily, “oh we love these nice chubby babies, we’re never worried about them!”. In the nicest way she just meant that bigger babies are at less risk, and that’s a lovely thing. Please don’t be embarrassed or concerned, if a midwife or HV isn’t then all is fine, and it sounds like he is absolutely thriving. Also he was a big baby initially, so that sounds right.
If you want to go, go. Maybe prepare something to say if anyone mentions how big he is, like “thank you, yes it’s lovely, he’s growing so big and strong already!” Good luck, I hope you manage it!

Please go! There you will find friends and support.

Yes, try and go if you want to. If anyone comments you can just say his Dad is 6ft4 so he's already taking after him. Congratulations on your baby, sounds like he's thriving.

Oh do go, I always found it so nice just to talk to another adult in the day I wouldn’t have ever cared what the baby weighed!

My son was 8lb7oz at birth at at that age he was over 14lb and no one at baby groups cared. He's 8 months old now and has lengthened out but is still cute and chubby. Everyone loves a chunky baby, please don't feel embarrassed

Any chance you might have postnatal anxiety, OP?

If you go to a baby group will you be bitching about the other babies or will you be hoping to have some friendly chat with other mums?

Clue: everyone will be wanting to do the latter!

People will comment on his size, because a baby’s appearance is the only thing you can make conversation about when they are little. So ‘He’s a big chap’, or ‘Look at all those curls’, or ‘What big brown eyes’ etc. People are only making conversation and showing an interest in your baby - they’re not judging you. Please don’t worry. As pp said, prepare a couple of answers if it would make you feel more confident but ‘Yes, isn’t he!’ would do!

Just go, if you don’t like it you don’t have to go back. I bet you any money you won’t be the only one there with a big baby. I personally think chubby babies are just the cutest, I think most people will comment in a nice way.

You just say 'It's not surprising - my husband is 6ft 4.' Most babies reflect their parents and normally the tallest.

I met my friend at baby group. Her son was 11lb at birth, mine was just under 7. I never even noticed his size! We were all so wrapped up in our own babies, and glad to be around other parents, that it wouldn't have occurred to us. 11 years on, she's one of my closest friends - I am so glad I went.

Are you usually this anxious about things? You might want to consider talking to someone about it. You shouldn't have to feel this worried about something like this.

Nobody will judge you. Everyone there understands that a big baby is a good thing. I had months of worry with DD as she was dropping through the centiles so if anything, people will be jealous.

I had a huge DD. Still is top of centile charts age 2 and often mistaken for an older child. People have commented but in a 'isn't she tall' 'doesn't she look grown up' never anything bitchy or rude. Mums are just women and most of us have manners! I actually found being round a huge variety of babies very reassuring as you constantly see the variation in babies and it makes you realise the wide scope of 'normal'!

There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. People (even very new ones) come in all shapes and sizes. You mignt get some fleeting comments that your baby looks older/bigger than 5 months but so what. That’s nothing to feel embarrassed or bad about. If you want to go to some groups that is no reason not to go along. Parenthood is a great leveller and there’s a lot of advantages in being in the company of other people with babies around the same age.

I might comment on his size in conversation, but not in a negative way, whether with you or if talking of you.

I definitely wouldn’t assume over feeding (I didn’t realise that’s even possible at 8 weeks). I would assume you were pretty amazing for coping with a huge bump, then presumably a hard labour, and then carrying around such a heavy baby... and I’d be admiring you for it, not judging you!

Please come to baby groups. I found them helpful, and if you came to mine you’d be welcome and not judged.

Please go my ds was 99th centile from birth striaght through and still is... He's going to be big but I'm. 6ft and so is his dad and shortest man in my family is 6ft4!
My bbay pood all of dp at playgroup and vomited on my head once.... Nothing they haven't seen before. A chubby baby is cute and nothing to worry about!!

Only comment I ever got was oh can't he walk yet... No he's 6mths. Omg isn't he a big boy. Yep yep he's tall. That was it.
Loads of nice people and a lovely lady who helped me tie a sling properly and a lady I still meet for coffee! It's nice to see new mom's and it's also how I met my fabulous childminder, who I adore.
Go if you wnat to.

If people comment on his size it's not usually meant negatively! Don't take it as such, honestly. Mine was tiny as I was having feeding issues so was sensitive to it anyway, but I knew when people said oh she's so little, they weren't meaning it as a criticism of me. It's just meaningless chitchat really to make conversation. Only needs an 'I know, he's doing really well', or a 'yep he's going to be a big 'un' or something similar back

There are plenty of big babies, nobody at a baby group will judge you negatively for it! You will get comments, I always said 'he's going to be tall like his daddy' (I'm on the petite side too).

Yes I think a lot of people comment on size but without meaning it negatively. My DS was 10lb 11 at birth and is now 30lb at nearly 14 months.

I stare in awe at the tiny babies as I always think that my DS was never that size, and genuinely I never held him at that size!! I am also aware that commemting on how small a baby is can make that parent feel insecure about theirs being too small.

I'd love to meet you at a baby group, I only once met a baby larger than mine and we had a good chat about it!!

My son was a very chubby baby and people did mention it at groups but I would just reply “yes chunky monkey” then smile and laugh. No big deal and that really was the end of the conversation so I really wouldn’t let it get to you...

Thanks everyone, I do feel a little better now knowing how other people would perceive my son. Hopefully I'll pluck up the courage next week!

A good friends son was huge when I met him at 8 weeks (at a baby group) HUGE!! But I loved it, I thought he looked beautiful and happy. He definitely wasn't over fed and the thought would never have occurred to me. People really won't judge such a young baby. They come in all shapes and sizes.