OI COD....share the blardy wisdom will you....

[DANCESwithDumbledore]

HOW, how, HOOOOwwwwww do I get ds 2.7yrs to stop pooing in his pants. It's farking disgusting Bribery isn't working, I'm not getting cross but am telling him it's making me sad when he poos in his pants. He has wees sussed which is great but OMG the poos the pooooooos

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OH! I thought being cross was a big no no with potty training. If I made him clear it up it would be EVERYWHERE so that's not an option. Will try the poo diary but off the top of my head I'd say he's not particularly regular.

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Oh gawd, it is so, so gross

You are telling him it's making you sad?

Tbh 2.7 is very young to expect a boy to control his poo. Mine is 3.6 and I had to spend 3 months washing on average 2 pairs of trousers and undies every day before he got the message. If you are telling him it's making you sad you are just putting him under pressure and being very unfair.

You've got wees sussed which is great at this age! But really, expecting him to control his poos too is just too much.

If you do insist on poo-training then completely, and I mean COMPLETELY ignore the accidents and focus only on the positives. A sticker chart worked for my ds with a reward after a certain number of days.

It's been almost 2 weeks since I started potty training him...is that long enough to have run out of 'oh you've done so well...blah...blah' and on to 'you are really making me cross when you poo in your pants'?

You make them clean up too?

I cannot believe this thread! 2 weeks and you expect him to be fully potty trained? My God where do you get off?

You cannot punish accidents, which is what these are. Boys learn control much later than girls and at this age their sphincter (sp?) muscles are not yet fully developed so they find it difficult to control their poos. Would you punish an incontinent old person? Because at this age they have little control just as old people do. It's not for lack of trying!

Give it a rest and try again later.

Oh god Malory - how hideous. I think I'll cancel my plan to potty train ds1 next month.

I potty trained ds3 a couple of weeks ago -he cracked it in literally 2 days - poos adn wees. THen in the second week I think he got lazy and he did do a few poos on the floor , on toys . I went through the roof. HE got a serious telling off. He's not done it since.

I felt it was OK to get cross because I knew full well that he knew what he was doing because he had gone to the toilet, unprompted, to do poos and wees for the whole week before.

I wouldn't be cross if you aren't sure he's 'got it' but if you know he has then let rip!!

And the reason they hide is because they are afraid of consequences. They honestly think that if you do not see them do it then it disappears.

With that level of reasoning how do you expect them to understand what you want?

Waitrose?
House of Fraser?

ROFL!!!

Oh gawd, this is when MN gets to me...now whose advice do I take since it is polar opposites?! Rhubarb - bribery doesn't work, he just doesn't care about stickers or sweets etc. We did a sticker chart for dd and she loved it. Should I not tell him it makes me sad? Thought that was better than saying cross. Dammit, it is impossible to get it 'right'

I thought I was firm, but I'm going to have to parp myself at you lot, I really am!

An accident and you "let rip" at them? Toddlers?

I've gotta go before I start "letting rip" at you lot.

That is very interesting Rhubarb. I am convinced that ds1 (2.9) has almost no sphincter control (tmi to say why I think this). I had thought that he might have a real problem but I'm relieved to see that it's pretty normal. Thanks. And phew.

dances, I told you what I did.

I had a very similar thread when my ds was soiling his pants twice a day every day. The advice I got was excellent. No-one ever suggested I punished him. This just makes them do it in secret.

Rhubarb - if you are convinced that they know it's coming and could have gone to the toilet then what's wrong with getting cross? I'm not talking about giving them the cane! Ds3 had been going to the big toilet (bypassed potty pretty much) for the whole week before - just as ds1 and ds2 do - no prompting or asking by me whatsoever. So when he spent a couple of days just dropping his pants, I knew it wasn't because he had no control.