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Parenting

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Original poster

My 11y Daughter has came out as bi sexual

30 replies

Littlek0406 · 10/10/2019 23:50

I can't get my head around it. She just started in the girls secondary school is at just a faze? Her dad left me when she was 2 & her granddad died when was 6 & none of my relationship ended well plus we live in with my mum & sister. Could it be the environment

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KellyHall · 10/10/2019 23:53

It could be a phase, neither of you may know for sure for years. I spent most of my teenage years experimenting with boys and girls.

Just support her, be understanding and non-judgmental. Whether it's a phase or not, it is now part of who she is and therefore something you need to accept about her.

Original poster

Littlek0406 · 11/10/2019 00:14

Thank you so much for your reply.

I will support her no matter what! It just came out nowhere really & it caught me little off guard.

Thank you again x

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Puddypuddy · 11/10/2019 00:18

My 13yr old said the same to me!I told her she was too young to know but she assures me she does??
I didn't even know what gay meant until I had finished school.
She has a little "boyfriend " at the moment.They've been to the cinema a few times.

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CountFosco · 11/10/2019 00:27

I think it's about the age where kids start having enough knowledge to put a name to their feelings. One of my DDs (similar age) has a friend who has recently told some of her friends she's bi. Comes from a perfectly stable 'traditional' family home. Think 'bi' feels a bit more open to them at that age than 'lesbian'. Better to have an 11 yo who is comfortable coming out than someone in their 30s coming out to their parents and being told it's a sin as was SILs experience. Although PILs adore her partner now and DCs are now considered the experts on homosexuality among their friends due to having a lesbian aunty!

Original poster

Littlek0406 · 11/10/2019 00:29

I really didn't what Bi was until finish school.
Is popular to Bi now?
I'll support her no matter what though!

OP posts:

Tavannach · 11/10/2019 00:31

It's how she feels atm. Fair enough. It may change as she goes through adolescence, or it may not.

WaxOnFeckOff · 11/10/2019 00:33

To be honest, I think very few people are 100% straight or gay. Especially during puberty I think people have all sorts of different feelings. I'd just go "that's nice dear" :o and then carry on. She will be whatever she is, most people find themselves more attracted to one sex or the other at some point but clearly some people remain attracted to people regardless of which sex they are. Which camp she'll fall into in the future is not really clear at age 11 I don't think.

Original poster

Littlek0406 · 11/10/2019 00:40

We have really great relationship my daughter & me.

I'm sorry, I'm new what does SIL & PIL mean?

OP posts:

FlamedToACrisp · 11/10/2019 00:58

SIL = Sister in Law

PIL= Parents in Law

IHaveBrilloHair · 11/10/2019 01:03

My daughter told me she was bisexual when she was 13.
She's now 18, lives with her bf and she's still bisexual.
She's had a gf in the past, may again in the future, I'm not fussed at all, so long as she's happy.

StVincent · 11/10/2019 01:06

There doesn’t need to be a “reason” she is bi, any more than there’s a reason you’re straight. I wouldn’t waste time wondering why, just concentrate on making sure she knows what healthy relationships are (whether with a boy or girl) for the future. Best of luck, you clearly want the best for her!

ilovethatshow · 11/10/2019 01:08

I think things these days are just more open and acceptable. I'm definitely not 100% straight but when I was 11 it wasn't a thing to be bi and it was hard to even come out as gay. If I was exploring my sexuality as an 11year old now I'd definitely feel more comfortable saying I was bi and I'm glad it's no longer a big deal.

Oliversmumsarmy · 11/10/2019 01:17

How would she know at 11.

A girl in one of childrens school came out as pan sexual.

I honestly thought she just liked LeCreuset. Though I did think it was a strange thing for a 16year old to be obsessing over casserole dishes and frying pans.

A year later she had a bf and has only ever had bfs.

Sometimes a “That’s nice dear” is what is needed.

I really wouldn’t take much notice till she was older.
From what I see it is something that makes them special or to fit in with a crowd.

I wouldn’t put too much store on what they say till they are much much older.

HaileySherman · 11/10/2019 01:20

I'd say it could be a phase, or she could genuinely feel bisexual. At 11, she's too young to be acting on any sexual feelings so it should be a pretty safe age for her to try to figure some things out. I'd just be supportive of her and she'll continue to learn about her sexuality for many years to come.

MustardScreams · 11/10/2019 01:22

Yawn

pommymom · 11/10/2019 01:40

Is she experiencing lust? It's an emotion that develops in teens normally and if not experiencing this, I don't think any sexuality labels appropriate
She may decide on a man or a woman later then may change again in her thirties or whenever

MustardScreams · 11/10/2019 02:08

Guys this is a troll. Please don’t expend your energy answering.

notangelinajolie · 11/10/2019 02:24

because this is as far fetched as a pigeon pooing on Coleen. As if.

Original poster

Littlek0406 · 11/10/2019 09:35

Good Morning All!
I appreciate all of your messages & comments I really do.
Thank you & have a great day!

OP posts:

Sweetpeach3 · 11/10/2019 09:49

Tbh iv been their in secondary school. Although I was abit older- my mind got abit curious I guess you could say and I did have a "girlfriend" - quite embarrassing to admit now lol as I don't know what went through my head and I wouldn't dream of doing that. But yes I used the Bi label for a spell....
It was a one off and I guess hormones and curiousness got the better of me at that age. It's quite common for kids to experiment their was a lot in my year and 2 of my best friends now - one is gay and one is in a serious relationship with a man but she's bi-
I don't regret past situations as you learn from them but just support her. My dad hated me and gave me lots of grief for it so I just persued it even longer to piss him off more. If he supported me an got on with me it'd been over an done with after a month or so...
Just be a mum to her and don't push her away. Don't treat her any different just carry on as normal. Itll probably fizzle out as most do xx

Branleuse · 11/10/2019 10:18

my 11yr old is pansexual. I always assumed it meant bisexual but open to teh trans too, but she says not necessarily, it just means that gender isnt a factor.

Im pretty sure thats what bisexual always used to mean anyway. I let her get on with it. Shes not doing sexual anything and I hope she wont be for a long time with either sex. All her celebrity crushes have been on girls so far though.

Thehagonthehill · 11/10/2019 10:32

My DD came out as lesbian,bi and then pansexual.They have to have labels it seems.
She is now 16 and has settled on confused.Mostly she fancies boys but it's not my buisness as long as she's safe and happy.

Mysa74 · 30/12/2023 08:18

Hi op.
I know this is an old thread which is why I'm reaching out. My DD has just started at senior school and has told me that she is bi. I'm just wondering how op got on and if her daughter continues on this path?
I've told my dd that I'm pleased she can talk to me, that she should be true to herself without rushing into anything and basically being bi would just give her twice as many people to potentially find happiness with... Does that seem reasonable?

IHaveBrilloHair · 30/12/2023 13:45

I posted on this thread, Dd, now 22, still with the same male partner she was with from 15.

Original poster

Littlek0406 · 30/12/2023 18:08

4 years on, so my DD got her name changed at school without my consent, we moved her school now, she is known by her first name. She was selfing harm, 4 of them were in a class of 30, and there was 2 trans in the class.

It was a toxic environment, her new school is got a well-being hub right in the middle of it.

We went to camhs & ypas in Liverpool & we found out that she’s on the spectrum but she health & happy but she’s reckons that she is now trans. I’ve said wait till you’re 21-25 & if you still feel that way she can transition.

It’s for them, he they she them, it’s far too much influencing from the Internet to be different & you’re in the minority if you’re straight! 💐@Mysa74

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