Just had nine month old weighed - feeling like the worst parent

[Rarfy]

Nine month old dd has just been weighed. She's 19lbs. Almost on the 75th centile. Not bad I know but she was born on the 9th.

Anyway I felt like they were interrogating me about what she eats. I'll be the first to admit I don't do baby led weaning. I don't like it I'm frightened she'll choke. That isn't going to change.

I don't just give her pouches and mashed food though I give her bananas, toast, crumpets, bagels etc I just break them up for her. A typical day is cereal. Usually weetabix, porridge or shreddies. Lunch is usually a sandwich - chicken, tuna or cheese then tea is a meal pouch Ella's kitchen or aldis own. After each meal she will have a dessert which will be a fruit pot, a from age frais or a small custard pot. I very very rarely give her snacks as I don't feel like she needs them.

She is still having three 6 ounce bottles a day. First thing, mid aft and then last thing.

Is this quite bad? I feel like I'm doing something wrong it's really upset me.

The best book for ideas and easy recipes I found, was Lorraine Kelly's Baby & Toddler Eating Plan. Simple recipes with few ingredients - I found the Annabelle Karmel equivalent really overwhelming as the list of ingredients was huge!

You can still get copies on amazon despite it being quite an old book.

Go with your own instincts and a few tweaks here and there!

Measured her. Difficult without the right tape but definitely somewhere between 70-72cm so she's actually bigger in length than she is weight. Unbelievable.

Thank you when I get chance I'll download the app and will ask about resources next time we go to get weighed. I've never even heard of pin wheels.

Don't feel guilty for using pouches, I know I can do better but I aren't against them. Mostly vegetables and meat although I agree with what others have said about the proportions being out and also home cooked will be more nutritious and probably taste better. I feel like I don't even get time to drink water some days never mind anything else. You're not alone.

@Pointof0return I hope the OP takes heart from your comment because I certainly have!✊

All these delicious meals being mentioned sound amazing, but how much of them are actually being eaten I wonder? At least half of everything I give my 12 month old ends up on the floor or spat straight back out!

My DD is only 8mo but she has taken to eating like a duck to water, so most of it does end up in her tummy, with maybe 25% going to the dog. It is a bit more annoying when you see something you've lovingly made being chucked about, but at least the dog enjoys it... Plus we eat the same as she does so that makes me feel better about it as it's not like I've made something just for her that has then been wasted –it's our dinner too.

All these delicious meals being mentioned sound amazing, but how much of them are actually being eaten I wonder?

Well I only give him a small portion but in the main it all gets eaten. Like I said it’s easier when you have older children as you have no choice but to cook for them anyway, so you just give some to the baby.

Well then she's fine! The aim is to be roughly the same centile for both height and weight, so she might actually need more if she's under!

I wouldn't worry too much. Let your baby guide you, she'll eat if she's hungry, she won't if she's not!

I know all that worry for nothing. If only they had measured her I would have felt much better

DD has eaten every meal I've given her, bar two in the space of nearly two years. There really hasn't been much waste although obviously there is debris under the highchair after most meals.

It sounds like the OP's DD enjoys her food so will most likely be eating what the OP is making for her.

Pasta is a great suggestion as it's so versatile and quick to make (DD takes pasta salad for her packed lunch some days just mixed with tuna, oat creme fraiche (dairy allergy), tuna, cucumber and peppers.

I make big batches of Bolognaise and freeze little portions (at first I made hers with no bacon/wine/stock but since around 18m I've just made it as I usually would and assume the small amount of alcohol well cooked and a bit of salt won't be harmful in the context of the rest of her diet).

My DD is only 22 lb 4 and is 2 years old. She eats me out of house and home, 3 meals, 2 snacks and around 15 oz of full fat milk a day. I wouldn't worry.

Op my dd is also 9 months, born on 9th and now on the 75th but her health visitor is chuffed with her weight gain! Don't let their interrogation scare you, my hv has always said 'food is just for fun until they're one'!! 😊

They aren't supposed to look at birth centile any more as this can be misleading. You are supposed to take the starting point as whatever centile they are on at two weeks old.

I'm glad you've measured her because I was going to suggest it. DS2 is 91st centile for weight, which sounds enormous until you measure his height and he's 99th or off the scale for that - he's perfectly in proportion, he's just tall. No idea where that has come from - DH is a shortarse and I'm only slightly above average for a woman.

It is a bit of a pain for car seats although I was happy to go into toddler ranges of clothes earlier, as I prefer them. You might want to research longer lasting car seats when you're changing from the baby seat (up to 25kg rather than 18kg) because if she's very tall for her age she will likely outgrow an 18kg harness before her third birthday which is a bit of a nightmare safety wise.

There’s nothing wrong with how you’re feeding her and she’s a perfectly average weight for a child of her age. Some people just love to criticise because they fed their children perfectly, of course!

I thought I knew how to cook before DC - it was at this precise stage with DC1 I realised I was actually clueless!!

I've really enjoyed learning to cook - Jamie's ministry of food is a good one.

Once you get some low salt stock you'll be laughing!!

I decided to master a few basic dishes eg 1 creamy chicken curry, a tomatoey meat curry, chilli, bolognaise, shepherds pie, toad in the hole etc then added others as I went along. Now have a bible of tried and tested family friendly recipes. I used a presentation folder with plastic pockets. It's 7 years old now and slowing down new recipes as DC2 is very much in the fussy phase so it's tricky to introduce new stuff but I'm hoping she'll come out of it soon and I can get learning again.

Oh and a chunky soup eg minestrone is great as DC can just have all the chunks of veg and you can demolish offensive amounts of thickly buttered tiger bread with it

Amazon sell this which is what I used. Yes, you have to buy 6 pots at a time but as you're finding out it's a pain to get the low salt stuff in normal shops so it was worth it for me!

Marigold Swiss Vegetable Vegan Bouillon Powder Reduced Salt 150 g (Pack of 6) https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B010DC197M/ref=cmswwrcppapiii_obOKDbGDY1GNW

I wouldn't worry about what centile she is on, my son ended up on the 90th. He was chubby as a baby, but this soon disappeared as soon as he started to walk and move about more. He had a healthy apprentice as a baby and was always hungry so I fed on demand. He is now a slim child with nowhere near the apprentice he had then. I wouldn't worry, I'm sure you are doing great as a parent.

Appetite not apprentice I mean, not sure how that one changed.

She sounds absolutely fine and like she’s eating a wide range of foods. Don’t worry you’re doing great.

Yes she needs more fresh fruit and veg but other than that don't stress at all.

My DS2 was born juat 6 pounds. By 6 months he was the average weight for a one year old. At that point he had only had breast milk, some carrots and apples. He is now a very tall, skinny 12 year old without a millimetre of squidge to squidge!

Thank you all so much. You have made me feel much better.

I have a lot going on and things get to me easily these days but what everyone has said is right. I could carry on as I am and I know plenty of people doing very similar and their babies are thriving but it will do us good to get some fresh fruit and veg in and in all honesty I would much rather cook her food. I actually enjoy cooking its just getting my head around it all again.

Dp started a children's sports club up when I was pregnant, totally the wrong time, and I feel like it takes over our life. I'm on my own and awful lot with baby and a dog and find it really hard to negotiate our time while baby is safe because dog is a bloody nuisance. We will get there. This morning we have cereal and strawberries and raspberries lined up then tuna and corn on the cob for lunch. Will get out for some stock this morning too.

Go you 👍

Sounds really tough OP. Is there space for a travel cot in the kitchen so baby can play while you keep an eye out? Plus maybe a baby gate on the kitchen door to keep the dog out?

I found if I did one "batch" a week of 8 or so portions I had plenty of stuff to use when I mixed it up with easy cook stuff like pasta.

I'd also do things like roast a chicken and then DS would have some chicken (with pasta, rice, sweet potato wedges, veg etc) and then we'd finish off the chicken for dinner ourselves.

@PirateWeasel I would say my DS eats 95% - I’ve always fed him this way and at 2, he’s happy to eat green veg, spices, a variety of textures.

When I had an issue like this, it turned out that the health visitor had plotted the point on the graph incorrectly....

I actually enjoy cooking its just getting my head around it all again.

Good for you OP. I think it's very easy to lose confidence about various things when you have a baby. I know I have. Your situation sounds hard.

It won't be that long until cooking is something you can do as an activity with DD. I started baking with DD once she was able to stand stabily on a chair in the kitchen so probably 16m something like that. They're pretty good at stirring and mashing from a young age. Our most recent cooking activity was fish cakes which was dead easy and DD loved eating something she'd made. You just have to be prepared for it all to take twice as long as usual!

I think she just needs at least one meal per day where she has a good balance of protein, veg and carbs.

Bolognaise, pasta and peas
Shredded chicken, sweet potato mash and broccoli
Salmon, potato and green beans

Bulk cooking and freezing can be really helpful.

There was a study a few years ago where pouches were analysed and they found that even if it said ‘salmon, broccoli and apple’, the puréed apple was the main ingredient.

Ironically, I am reading this thread on a train at 9am and a talking, walking two year old is sucking the life out of a pouch on the seat behind me!