Help my toddler love the car seat and pram

[AriadneO]

My 1.5 year old hates being in a car seat and also in the pram.

We don't drive but she does need to go in the car seat when we visit grandparents. She should also really go in the pram when we go out, but because she cries I often end up carrying her in a sling, which is slowly breaking my back I'm sure.

I've tried distracting by talking to her, giving her things to hold or play with, singing songs, and with limiting journeys to under 30 mins. But nothing seems to help! Any advice for either car seat or pram would be warmly received - thank you.

Honestly? Don't buy anything new and just stand firm. Stop carrying her. Offer "pushchair or walk" every time and don't give in.

Carseat- clip her in and get on with the journey.

How good is she at walking? My DD was the same with the pushchair at that age so I bought some reins and let her walk as much as possible. Obviously sometimes she still had to go in the pushchair but it was minimal. Now she's 23 months and walks pretty much everywhere or we get on the bus which is also much easier without the pushchair. If you're in a rush the walking thing is not going to work to begin with but I found DD sped up quite quickly and now I have to walk faster to keep up!

Mine is a refuser of both since birth. She's been able to get out of any straps since about 14 months too so the advice to just get on with it certainly never helped mine. Three things that have made her slightly less screechy and distracting to me over the past 17 months are all highly un-recommended: forward facing as soon as she hit 9kg, eating or drinking constantly, watching nursery videos on my phone.

Try bribery with a chocolate button or a CBeebies download on phone or iPad for the car seat.
If you can turn the pram seat to face you or vice versa try that.
It’s a phase, I found it did pass fairly quickly

Should have said, cbeebies downloads on the tablet for long car journeys worked for us too.

Your baby knows that you will give in the longer she cries,its hard with Judgy people out there thinking they know best for your baby-Babies cry that's what they do!
Pick a quiet time of the day to go out either in the car or for a walk Tell your baby in an exciting way what you're going to do and just take a deep breath You got this and go for it!
Hope this helps wish you the best! Agree with previous post you may have to let her cry it out

Is the car seat rear or forward facing? Mine has always been okay in a car but when we switched to a bigger car seat in my mums car forward facing he then hated going rear facing in my car so we switched aswell. May be that she just wants to have a good look around at what’s happening!

Pushchair has been an ongoing battle which I still find incredibly stressful. Since DS could walk at 10months he never wanted to sit in it. We found if we needed to use a pushchair he would be better in the cheaper stroller typically than his lovely pushchair so we only use this now. Obviously it’s a risk buying a new pushchair as chances are it won’t make a huge difference. If I need DS to go in the pushchair he usually ends up watching programmes to distract him for a short while.

Thank you everyone. I should have said I already employ ample snacks and iPad. The snacks do help with the pram, admittedly, but less so with the car. Unfortunately she's not walking yet (late walker, I know), so that's not an option yet.

So when you say let her cry it out, so you mean apply the above tactics and then just pretend she's not crying and get on with it?

Offer her the pushchair or walk. She'll go in it when she's tired. Have you tried playing various music in the car?

Re car seat, I started off rear-facing but she found that so unacceptable we've now buckled and have her front-facing. She will now go in at least, but will start pulling her arms out and screeching after a minute or two. We tend to ply her with snacks and songs and lots of beseeching, and avoid journeys of longer than 10 mins. But 10 mins is really rather restrictive

Cant help with the car seat, but how about a trike instead of the pram? DD hates her pram but loves being in her smart trike, I take it everywhere now even when I go shopping! Doesn't take up any more room than the pram.

For the car - do you have a window blind? Once we removed ours dd was so much happier at being able to see.

DD did much better in the car when we moved her into the next size up car seat, still rear facing - is your DC still in their baby seat? The next size up car seats have more space and are more upright and also generally sit higher in the car so they can see much better out of the side windows; given forward facing is a lot less safe it's definitely worth trying a bigger seat rear facing first (most toddler seats go both ways now so it doesn't require buying an extra seat to try rear facing first).

Similarly, with the pushchair mine did much better sitting bolt upright - we even bought extra straps to get ours more upright. Otherwise, what about a buggy board for her to stand on - that got us through the pushchair refusal stage with DD at a similar age?

I think we posted at the same time so just seen you have a non-toddling toddler, in which case choice between walking or pushchair won't be possible. How is their understanding? Can you say ' the slings in the wash/ I've left it somewhere etc so we have to use the pushchair. Do you want a snack or a toy when you go in it?' Or asking them to pick a blanket to get cost in it with, basically giving them a choice but not really a choice about whether or not they go in.
But obviously depends on their speech and understanding.

Cosy*

I second @MissRabbitNeedsAHoliday suggestion of a trike. Completely forgot we bought a trike for this purpose. It helped us a lot as it felt a lot less restricted for him than a pushchair. Maybe visit a local toy shop or early learning centre and try out a few see if she likes them? Vary in prices but they grow with the child so worthwhile.

The car seat is pretty roomy and upright. A vast improvement on how it was when she first went in the car (very squished and back-facing). We don't have a window shield either...

Re pram, we have the buggy board ready to go, she just needs to walk! It's also as upright as I can make it. Should I make it parent-facing like when she was littler??

Mine's the same, if I can work it around naps it's a dream, otherwise a nightmare at any other time!

Sorry to sound like a negative ninny. Please keep the advice coming! Or tell me how long your child's anti-pram or anti-car phase lasted.

Trike is a good idea. Though again assume your child will need to be able to walk?

I could be wrong but I don't think they need to be able to walk with a trike. The one we have is suitable from 12 months and has a 5 point harness so I don't think walking would be needed? You could always check in store, Smyths had a lot on display when we got ours so we could see them & try DD in them.

No most of the trikes are suitable form around a year as long as they can sit upright and have all the harness for the initial starter phase. But if possibly definitely try before you buy as some are quite hard to manoeuvre, a bit like pram shopping!

With her carseat, make sure she isn't wearing a coat or bulky clothing. The straps will then sit much closer to her body and she will be less able to wriggle her arms out of them.

My youngest was the same. The car seat thing would drive me mad! I would have to wrestle him into it and then try to ignore the non stop screaming. Then 5 minutes down the road he would have squeezed his arms out of the straps and I'd be pulling over somewhere to get him strapped back in properly again.

It was stressful and tiring.

Eventually though he did stop and will now sit in his car seat without the ear piercing screams and hasn't tried getting his arms out in months.
I think like with most things child related, once they figure out they have no other option they will give up. Its when they know they have another option they will keep going until you give in.

Another vote for a trike. My boy is 13 months and we got him a trike for his birthday. He is absolutely not walking or even standing unaided. He loves it! So much less contained than a pushchair and makes him feel more involved as he can hold the handle bars and gets to properly look around.

No real suggestions, but if she's actually managing to wriggle out of the straps of her car seat you could try a seat with an impact shield instead of straps.