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Original poster

Pathetic school rules

70 replies

Gigimum · 27/09/2019 08:06

My son just started high school. Got a detention yesterday for drinking water outside on his break. No warning just a straight detention. Apparently this is a new rule they have because other kids messing around throwing water (which he was not). They can only drink in the canteen. He was not aware of the new rule. Also they have just set them a goal of drinking 2L a day. I think it's totally pathetic of the school to give out detentions for. I want to ring and complain he doesn't want me to. Am I over reacting 🤷🏼‍♀️

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dementedpixie · 27/09/2019 08:08

How bizarre! Yes it's a stupid rule

Soontobe60 · 27/09/2019 08:14

No, don't need ring up.
Unfortunately we also don't allow bottles out at break times as the kids use them as weapons, or squirt water over others. So it isn't a pathetic rule. Tell him to get a drink from it when he's supposed to. IMO teachers come down hard on pupils at the start of the school year just to reinforce the rules. A detention won't kill him!

BarrenFieldofFucks · 27/09/2019 08:15

So, 2 l a day, over how many opportunities?!

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dementedpixie · 27/09/2019 08:15

But he hasn't been told when he's supposed to drink from it. Will probably get detention for needing the toilet after drinking 2L too!

Beamur · 27/09/2019 08:17

Smile and nod.
Easier just to follow the rules and not get into trouble (assuming you know what the rules are!)
School have no way of monitoring 2,l of water intake anyway.

Windydaysuponus · 27/09/2019 08:18

Ds got a detention for not having a calculator.
He didn't have maths that day.
No lockers and students have to carry full kit and pe kit every day.
Ds has size 12 trainers. Nearly a whole bag for them!
Wonder about bad backs in the future..
Dd's friend got put in isolation first week of year 7 for wrong colour hair elastic..
Wasn't black but purple..
Could go on...

Rockbird · 27/09/2019 08:49

DD1's friend was put in isolation on his first day of year 7 because his hair was too short. He's had that hairstyle every day of the 7 years I've known him. Horrible thing to do to a kid on the first day of secondary.

Beamur · 27/09/2019 11:35

These do seem petty. Smacks of the school showing who is in charge rather than because it's necessary for the child's education.
I think the line of discipline is enforced tightly at the start of term.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 27/09/2019 12:35

My nephew just started secondary and the things I hear people get detentions for I'm shocked, having a non-scientific calculator, no glue stick when it was lent from the child to a previous teacher....

However I've concluded its to set a precedent and will ultimately lead to better behaved kids.

LolaSmiles · 27/09/2019 12:41

It's not a rule I would chose, but they've decided water bottles in canteen (presumably due to bottles as missiles, students squirting water on each other etc) and it is what it is.

I wouldn't be complaining to the school. They'll learn school expectations.

For what it's worth, I can take or leave some of the more picky rules but if the school have them then they need following so school can be a calm and orderly place. Somewhere I worked became much better when school tightened up on rules and enforced them

PuffHuffle5 · 27/09/2019 12:43

I don’t really see the point. It’s quite an extreme rule - but any school willing to create rules like that will do so in the knowledge that some parents won’t like it. Complain all you want but they won’t give a shit what you think quite frankly.

BubblesBuddy · 27/09/2019 22:20

I feel so sorry for your DC that they have to put up with these boot camps. It’s not about education is it? You had to do something really bad to get a detention in my day and the same for my DC. You all need to find courage and complain. Being treated like this builds up resentment and certainly does not enhance anything about the school or the DC. Who wants unhappy DC at school?

INeedAFlerken · 27/09/2019 22:23

So many schools have completely lost the plot ... focusing on all the wrong things imo.

LolaSmiles · 27/09/2019 22:47

It’s not about education is it? You had to do something really bad to get a detention in my day and the same for my DC.
Similar in my time at school.
Then I remember how many lessons were held up by 4/5 people turning up late and making an entry, and how we lost learning time waiting for people to shut up, or how we had to do group work and I was always put with disruptive students or loud boys because as a quiet girl I was meant to be a good influence. How I would do all my homework but then we'd spend half the lesson redoing material from the homework because half the class hadn't done it again. And how we had to attend class detentions for the behaviour of a few (terribly terrible approach).

Then I realise that came out if a philosophy that was dominant at the time of "entertain the students", "don't challenge them on small things".

Some schools have gone too far towards zero tolerance in my opinion, but tightening up on rules so school is calmer and there's less disruption I can support.

DisorganisedOrganiser · 27/09/2019 22:49

Who wants unhappy DC at school?

I actually think the schools do. It’s easier to control teach kids who have had the fight taken out of them a bit.

Melrose86 · 27/09/2019 23:03

As a teacher I feel this is term 1 trying to be super strict and laying down lots of rules that by summer term half the staff will be too exhausted to keep on top of anymore. I do think that there maybe is a chance your son doesn't want you to contact the school because he knowingly broke the rules or he was messing around with a water bottle? Just a thought as I have had parents complain over a punishment to then find out that actually it was justified but the child didn't want to be in trouble at home as well so they said they didn't do anything wrong

GreenTulips · 27/09/2019 23:07

Smacks of the school showing who is in charge rather than because it's necessary for the child's education

DD also told me a similar story only I did ring and ask what happened, turns out he literally soaked a girl who had to go home to change. She missed her education so he did a double detention. Seemed fair.

Original poster

Gigimum · 27/09/2019 23:54

He's a good kid and isn't a trouble causer. To be honest most kids at his last school looked up to him because he was always had time for everyone. He's the sort of kid everyone likes, but he's not cocky. He's very honest with me and would tell me if he got into trouble and the detention was deserved. I just feel like starting high school is a big thing and a big change, to tell him off for petty reasons isn't going to give him a good impression of what's to come. He's also very tall for his age, not far off 6ft at 12 years old, and I do wonder whether the teacher thought he was older than he was and he should have known better. I'm worried this sort of thing will be a regular occurrence and squash his confidence

OP posts:

LolaSmiles · 28/09/2019 07:56

Honestly OP, I'm sure he is a lovely boy.

What I think parents have to understand is that the school rules are set for everyone, and it doesn't work to say "here are the rules and expectations... Oh but you're nice so they don't apply to you". (Which is what a lot of threads on MN seem to think - eg my child is nice so a detention will hurt their self esteem / my child is nice so they should have additional chances / my child is hardworking so the teacher should have ignored them and focused on the other "naughty" kids)
Having a behaviour policy that only applies to some, or is unfair creates loads of issues, mainly some students get quickly, unfairly victimised because they have a reputation so staff pay more attention and sanction them whilst turning a blind eye to what other students are doing, and you get more bad behaviour overall.

I've had some classes where I haven't given a single detention all year. They were brilliant, but if they had missed school expectations then the same rules would have applied. I had to record a uniform incident for a really nice student who I get on well with, but the bottom line is that's the rule and it applies to all students: known troublemaker or the most lovely student in the school.

Being given a sanction or a detention doesn't mean staff will dislike a child, it doesn't mean they're going to be branded a bad student or a troublemaker. It means that they fell short of expectations, have been reminded of it, and everyone moves on.

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 28/09/2019 11:01

The wrong colour hair elastic?

Which impairs collective discipline and learning - how?

Beamur · 28/09/2019 16:26

Some of these rules are fair enough, there is a reason when you ask but others are about compliance.
The trick is to be seen to be compliant.

LolaSmiles · 28/09/2019 17:17

beamur
The thing is if you want to have a calm and orderly school then you need to have a level of compliance.
The trick is to get over the rules you don't like and accept that we won't always like every rule we have to follow.

E.g. I couldn't care less about marking in red pen, but that's school policy. It's neither here nor there to me and it means that there's some consistency between staff so I suck it up and get on with it.

notso · 28/09/2019 17:41

Having to ask if you can remove your blazer. Some teachers refuse for no good reason. It's stupid and annoying, how is being uncomfortably hot good for learning?
I don't want to have to wash a sweaty blazer every day.

LolaSmiles · 28/09/2019 18:35

notso
Then I'd be calling to chat to the teacher because that's out if order. For all it happens on MN, I'm yet to meet a teacher who refuses (and I've worked with some real arseholes over the years).

We have a blazers on policy, every member of staff tells their classes at the start of the year to remove them or wear them as they need to in the classroom as long as they arrive with it.

What annoys me more is when my room is hot and I've already told students from day 1 in September that they can regulate their own temperature, I get a call from a parent furious that I've sanctioned their child for disruption when I've insisted they wear their blazer when it's hot. The reality is their child CHOSE to keep their blazer on, I had all my windows open and the door to the corridor as we were working quietly and instead of removing a blazer and getting on, their child dramatically fanned themselves with their hands for 15 minutes complaining it was too hot to work and broke their human rights.

BubblesBuddy · 28/09/2019 19:01

I went to a really old fashioned grammar school. We were not a very high achieving bunch overall and yes, there were rules. Hats to be worn on the way to and from school. Not allowed to walk on the grass in the gardens. Not allowed to use the boys’ stairs if you were a girl and vice versa. Dares were common regarding this rule of course. Not allowed to wear outdoor shoes inside. However, we put up with these relatively minor inconveniences because they were not extreme, whereas possibly today’s DC wouldn’t and parents complain more too.

However: to make life easier, why don’t schools have water available only in the dining room at break and lunch? Who needs it all day? Named bottles in racks. Who cares if they wear blazers in school or not. We never did and no one cared. In fact they were considered outer wear. Having said that, they were wool so no one in their right mind would wear them inside! Uniform should be from decent fabrics and wearable. Of course boundaries were pushed with earrings, hitched up skirts or ultra long ones when maxis came in, fashionable boots for outside shoes etc but generally parents ensured DC were equipped and looked ok. You could make school dresses from a pattern and fabric supplied and knit school pullovers if you wanted to; and some did. No one inspected our pencil cases, our “rough books” (homework notes) or took much notice of us at lunchtime. We had teachers who marked in green and one in turquoise in the days when fountain pen ink could be bought in that colour. Who cares what colour ink as long as the comments say more than “good” or “see me”? (They weren’t.) We were even allowed to talk to each other!

The question is: why do schools go so overboard now? Why spoil the experience of school because a few DC are difficult? I know we didn’t have SEN DC, but neither do I believe for one minute SEN DC are all disruptive. Why are so many children so annoying that they have to be treated like battery hens?

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