Putting baby upstairs?

[user1492964816]

Hey,

I have an 8 week old baby EBF, who at the moment sleeps downstairs with us at night till we go up to bed about 10-11pm. For the last 3 weeks she has gone to sleep from 8-8.30pm and sleeps anywhere up to 2/3/4 and occasionally 5 am (!) I was wondering whether to put her up in our room after her bath at 8pm because she’s getting a little disturbed down with us- we talk quietly have lights low and tv low but can tell she’s fidgeting when there’s a bit of noise. I know guidelines say to keep them with you but I wondered when other people moved there’s? It’s my second baby and I think I moved my first baby around 8/9 weeks, but can’t remember!

I’m just wanting People’s thoughts this time round. Thank you 😊

I just go upstairs with baby. I’ll bath, bottle then out to bed & watch tv in our room I just don’t feel comfortable leaving baby under 9 months alone yet x

I think we did from a little over 3 months. Just for an hour or two max before we went to bed. I know it's against the guidelines though. She was however a shite sleeper at that age so we would've usually been up and down a couple of times anyway.

My youngest is also 8 weeks and we've been talking about this too but we won't be doing it just yet, he's too young. I think with our eldest we waited a few more months.

I think our boy was 5 months when we moved him upstairs.

Long time ago now but I slept in same room as our youngest until he was weaned, gave us all a better night. Did, though, put him in his cot upstairs after bath each evening and spent a few hours together with my husband before going up myself. He got into a fairly good routine, we all managed some sleep but still had adult time together.

If she isn't waking up screaming it won't harm her being in the same room as you with the TV on and you talking. You will then probably have the advantage later on that she will sleep anywhere.

We used to go and watch tv in bed at that age, then DS went up by himself at 4 months (when he wanted a 7pm bedtime), own room by 5 months.

If she’s not waking up then keep her down with you. The guidelines are there for a reason- and also she’s learning to sleep through some disturbance. And ignore this if I’m making unwarranted assumptions but tell him that the baby needs to be with her parents til she is 6 months old, and it won’t hurt him to keep his voice/game/telly down.

No it’s not my husband saying anything or being loud it’s just been a couple of years since my last baby and I couldn’t remember when I put him upstairs. We have the in laws here tomorrow staying, so was just a bit anxious about noise levels. I just wasn’t sure whether putting her up in our room for a couple of hours before we joined her was ok. I’ll keep her down with us for the time being though, Thanks for the replies.

Your baby is at the age when SIDS peaks. I wouldn’t do it.

I'm going against the grain here and would say yes do it. If he wants to sleep then let him. (I've had 3 and the first we kept downstairs by the third I would put him up in our room when sleeping. -- some nights you are so shattered by then you go to bed with them and sometimes you don't.) But you have to be comfortable with your decision.

My DD is 14 weeks now but by 8 weeks yes I put her upstairs first if she was asleep and kept the video monitor on her and kept checking on her until me and DH went to bed. (was only ever an hour or so after maximum)
Each to their own. Do what works for you and your family

“Each to their own. Do what works for you and your family”

Yeah- sod all that research about SIDS.

@BertrandRussell OP asked what other users do. I replied.
I did not tell OP to 'sod the research'
Get over yourself... perfect parent are you.

I kept my daughter downstairs on me until the day she turned 6 months, as I was not prepared to risk doing anything else. The guidelines are there for a reason, I would say keep her downstairs if she isn't waking up, like others have said, it may help her to sleep with background noise in the future too. My little one was a terrible sleeper, I don't think letting her sleep on me for so long helped, but I know where I made my mistakes and am currently pregnant with my second so I know what things to do differently. This time I will let the little one sleep in a Moses basket downstairs with us until we go to bed or take them up to bed and watch TV in the bedroom with them instead, but I will keep them with us until 6 months again. We actually had to sort of sleep train my little girl when she was 16 months old and turned into a perfect sleeper overnight! If something isn't broken though, don't fix it. Sounds like you have a brilliant little sleeper so far!

I put my eldest in his own room at 11 weeks. Usually by the time he was going down for the night, I was knackered so went to watch telly or ready in my room next door anyway.

I can't remember what we did with our youngest at bed time. He was in our room until much older. But I definitely had him sleeping in a different room in the day time by six weeks. He kept getting woken up by his big brother!

We had a video monitor which did give me a bit of reassurance.

@Amyxx7 my LO would sleep on me for the first 8 weeks in the night. Daytime she was fine in Moses basket/baby box in same room with the noise. Night, probably because it was quiet, she slept over my heart. Put her in a proper cot in my bedroom at 8 weeks and except for when she is teething she sleeps fine. Luckily over the years a few people have warned me that babies frequently insist on sleeping on you when tiny.

OP Google the current safer sleeping guidelines from the lullaby trust as they change when different evidence is presented.

Thanks everyone

I asked my health visitor about this and she said it was ok to put the baby upstairs for a few hours before we go up to bed. I was surprised as it goes against SIDS advice (though other countries don’t have the 6 months in your room advice, apparently this is just how the NHS and lulllaby trust have interpreted the research).

When mine was 8 weeks we had her downstairs with us. However by about 4 months she was sleepy by 9pm, ratty if not asleep then and wouldn’t sleep with the tv on downstairs. She started to really need a quieter environment to sleep. So we moved her upstairs with a video monitor on and regular checks at around that age.

Probably should've said, she only slept on me for a few hours before we went up to bed, then in a next to me crib for the night, before transitioning to a larger crib at 9 months old (she's always been small for her age). I did however, have to have her sleep on me during the day mostly, as she would feed to sleep and wake if moved. Definitely learned my lesson on that front and will be using a Moses basket for day sleep this time. Don't regret my cuddles with my first, the nights were very wakeful though for a very long time so that wasn't ideal haha. We will be encouraging this next one to fall asleep and self soothe alone earlier on this time, that's for sure. It all worked out in the end though, and that's what matters :)

All the stuff out there are guidelines not rules, regulations or laws. If the baby is becoming unsettled downstairs with you give it a go upstairs. Does anyone put a baby outside in a buggy to sleep nowadays where they can get some air instead of muffled up in a stuffy house or more likely one filled with vapours from cleaning materials

I think a lot of people on here are too young to remember a time when somewhere in every family there was a cot death. They would be a bit less blasé about “guidelines” if they remembered that.

You can always give it a go and see - you know what's best for your baby.

If you do I'd get a baby monitor first and you can get them with mats so they alert if baby stops breathing. Thay may give you some reassurance. Maybe try for a short time before bed and work up to longer.

“You can always give it a go and see - you know what's best for your baby.”
In this case, the experts who have done extensive research leading to a massive decrease in cot death know what’s best for her baby.

BertrandRussell, if you review the actual studies "leading to a massive decrease in cot death", you will see that while room sharing does appear to have some SIDS protective impact, it can only be classified as "mild to moderate" in comparison to other factors (e.g. supine sleeping, parents' drug use, etc).

Here is the most comprehensive research on SIDS available so far:

bmjopen.bmj.com/content/3/5/e002299

It lists outs odds ratios (OR) associated with various SIDS risk factors (table 1). Having baby in a separate room has an adjusted OR of 2.4. For comparison, "safe co-sleeping" (bed sharing in the absence of other risk factors) has got an OR of 2.7 (i.e. it is actually riskier).

Another argument that nowadays room sharing has relatively limited SIDS protective value is the current SIDS stats. The country with the lowest rate of SIDS is Netherlands. 80% of Dutch babies sleep in their room from day one.