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Parenting

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Original poster

DS has chosen pink glasses...

32 replies

HalyardHitch · 03/09/2019 13:33

I literally don't care that he's picked pink glasses (all five pairs of glasses he picked to try on were pink).

I really really do care about people making a "thing" of it. It bothers me. I don't want to have to defend him or justify his choice. I just know that some people will mention something.

I did draw the line at pink, sparkly sandals but only because we're going in to the wrong season AND I worried about what people would say

Anyone have any stock phrases/retorts?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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actiongirl1978 · 03/09/2019 13:34

People won't care. My son insisted on a bright pink maxi scooter and still rides it now age 9 without an issue.

Original poster

HalyardHitch · 03/09/2019 13:36

Dh's family are very conservative and basically in a cult

OP posts:

Honkytonkgirl · 03/09/2019 13:36

How old is he? Is he old enough to have to deal with comments himself, or will they wash over him and it'll be you dealing with the comments?

Pink glasses are cool no matter your sex. People are just wrong sometimes

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Beamur · 03/09/2019 13:37

How old you is your DS?
Congratulations on having a child who knows his own mind.
If anyone says anything, I'd just shrug and say 'he likes pink'.

JoanLewis · 03/09/2019 13:37

How old is he?

DS (nearly 4) always choses pink whenever he has a choice - e.g. the pink cup, pink swimming shorts (actually girls' swimming bottoms), etc. I don't care. He's happy. I don't think anyone else cares or even really notices either.

If he's old enough to be picked on by school friends for it, then yes a few stock phrases will help him brazen it out.

Original poster

HalyardHitch · 03/09/2019 14:49

He's only two. It's a balance these days isn't it. I think to be honest he would be the boy permanently dressed in pink shoes and pink tshirts. But I'm so aware these days of the whole gender assignment thing. I don't want people saying he's a girl until he says he's a girl. If that makes sense.

Ok, I know I'm overthinking things but he's a sensitive boy. He's prone to behaviour "difficulties" and both my family and my ils already comment on his behaviour, his enthusiasm over enthusiasm and his his brother sits still, does puzzles, etc.. I feel I need to protect him from the world and its judgements

OP posts:

SmartPlay · 03/09/2019 16:52

"I think to be honest he would be the boy permanently dressed in pink shoes and pink tshirts. But I'm so aware these days of the whole gender assignment thing."

The "gender assignment thing" wouldn't be a thing if everyone would just let their children choose the colours they like.

SimonJT · 03/09/2019 16:55

I would just say “yes they’re nice aren’t they” and order the frames he likes. You are worried about what other people think, you could raise him to not have that burden.

NoSquirrels · 03/09/2019 16:59

He's two! Of course he likes the pink ones.

Just ignore anyone who comments. Or you could bore them with the "historically, pink was a boy's colour, you know" arguments.

Or something like "Yes, we do seem to get a lot of comments on them - don't they look lovely?"

EmperorBallpitine · 03/09/2019 17:07

My son liked pink and bright colors. He used (at two) to like to wear a lot of his sisters costume jewellery and stuff. People just seemed to think it was funny. I would , if asked, just say 'he likes it'.
Now he is 7 he's much more conservative, but he still really likes colors. He is happy being a boy who likes what he likes.
You can get pink boys clothes too, polo shirts, hot pink hoodies etc if you want to indulge his love of the color without too much comment about 'dressing him like a girl' from tedious bores. Although you are also entitled to let him choose whatever the hell he likes.

wishingyouluck · 03/09/2019 17:11

I would just reply with 'he's only two!! He chose them and I think they really suit him actually' and a little shrug/smile. Just ignore it really though, it's just a colour!!

duffyluth · 03/09/2019 17:11

He is 2. You are overthinking.

TillyTheTiger · 03/09/2019 17:12

My 3yo wears loads of pink and purple, he loves bright colours and most boys clothes seem to be grey, blue or sludge coloured. He very rarely gets any comments. It's just a colour.

ItsGoingTibiaK · 03/09/2019 17:14

How have we, as a society, got ourselves into this situation? Where we genuinely worry about our children choosing something of a certain colour for fear of the comments that people will make? It really makes me cross.

OP - I would love to say just go for it, it won’t be an issue, but I completely get you, as sad as it is. But I think let your son have the glasses he loves and take any comments on the chin - just make sure he doesn’t pick up on them. 👍🏻

Gustavo1 · 03/09/2019 17:17

It’s a shame that we have to gear up to things like this. I get that pink is traditionally used for things aimed at girls but I don’t understand why that has to be exclusive of boys.
With normal people “say, yes aren’t they lovely, he chose them himself” with awkward types who think he might catch “the gay” from a bit of pink, tell them not to be ridiculous, they are clearly red/purple/mauve.

Phalarope · 03/09/2019 17:21

A smallish boy came up to my 3 and 6 year old last week, to ask the younger one “are you a boy?”. Yes, he said. “Then why are you wearing pink wellies?” It was a genuine puzzled question. 6 year old said “because it’s his favourite colour” and that seemed to resolve things.

perplexedagain · 03/09/2019 17:26

He is 2. I would just say 'he chose them and it is important he gets a pair of glasses he likes - it encourages him to wear them'.

And I really wouldn't worry about this - by the time they get through reception there are clearly boys and girls colours (despite me saying pointedly boys can wear pink too if they want)

OctopusNow · 03/09/2019 17:33

It's so sad that this is even a consideration.
My DS is 3 and always drawn to the dolls houses, unicorns and pink princess castles. Not an issue for me but several slightly older children have commented, "Why does he like playing with that?" in genuine puzzlement.
I tend to answer with "Why not?" which gets the response, "But he's a boy."

I have no problem with him wearing what he likes and playing with what he likes but nowadays there is that fear that people will tell him he is "really a girl" and try to push the trans thing on him. Children are vulnerable and I don't want that in his head.

Original poster

HalyardHitch · 04/09/2019 05:24

You've all put my mind at rest. Dh and I both took him to choose the ones he wanted. We weren't in the least bit bothered but all the people in the opticians that we dealt with were like "oh how cute, he's chosen pink...that's so funny.."

OP posts:

SpaceDinosaur · 04/09/2019 06:04

Stock response for DH's family
"Pink? Do you think? The label said 'pale red' " 😂

ReasonedCamper · 04/09/2019 06:24

“I know, aren’t they great? Like those lovely pink shirts men in the city wear”

LadyGAgain · 04/09/2019 06:37

My husband wears pink shirts. I doesn't MEAN anything!

Solasum · 04/09/2019 06:42

@Octopusnow Playmobil do some great not quite dolls houses if your DS likes that kind of thing but you don’t want to go all out dolls house. Ours is constantly full of pirates etc.

OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg · 04/09/2019 06:43

First time you all go to your ILs after he gets his new glasses, make sure your DH is wearing a pink shirt. Then if there are any comments about pink for boys, DH can look down at himself pointedly and say “mmm...I blame the parents...”

yoursworried · 04/09/2019 06:44

If anyone is stupid enough to comment then just say 'yes they're the ones he picked' . Sharp smile then walk away .
Less people will care than you think, and those that do , they deserve minimal response for drawing attention to a complete non-thing.

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