New mum - am I doing something wrong?

[milly2000]

My son is now 3 weeks old and we have just got through the first week on our own since my partner has been back at work. (Long hours this week as well just to make it worse) I'm having new mum fears.
I feel like I get nothing done in the day at all! By the time I feed, change and finally settle baby (I think he has colic so it can take a long time to settle him if at all) I feel like I'm starting the process again! He also seems to only want to sleep on me which makes anything else a bit difficult.
When he does sleep I'm making sure I have everything sterilised and getting a load in the washing machine. Sometimes it gets to 3pm and I'm realising I should make myself some food!
Am I doing something wrong? Or is this typical of the newborn stage?

Sounds normal to me. Buy yourself some nice ready meals.

I have a 3 yr old and a 6 week old. I manage ok with both of them but when I just have the baby I spend all day on the sofa or in bed if I can.

Hi there.

Sounds very similar to our first few weeks. I felt like I was stuck in groundhog day doing the same things over and over! The first week without my partner was so hard, I was terrified!

It does get better I promise. My boy is now 14 weeks so still quite young but thr newborn days are like a distant memory to me now.

Congratulations on your new baby

Totally normal. Just do what you can. As baby gets older, you’ll find yourself being able to fit more in. But don’t stress about it.

Very very normal and the best advice I can give you is to just go with it. Don’t set yourself up with high expectations, stay in convoy clothes and bind with the baby.

Watch Netflix, eat yummy food. It’s a beautiful time.

Sounds totally normal to me. I remember the days I managed to get fully dressed felt like triumphs. It'll settle. Don't worry.

Sounds exactly right
Do you have a wrap sling? Perfect for baby sleeping on you while you get other things done or cook

If you can clean your teeth and brush your hair, its a good day. Clothes (rather than pjs) are optional some days and ready meals and a microwave are your friend.

Put a little table next to the sofa, load it with snacks, a water bottle, a charger and the tv remote. Then nuke a meal just before you sit down with LO to try and get him to sleep. Then you can eat and drink and rest with him lying on you. Just dont drink hot drinks as babies wiggle right at the worng moment and you might scald him

Completely normal. I used to make up a plate of picky snacks before DH left for work or I had no chance of eating lunch. But a stretchy sling (I had a close caboo) helped me get more done and keep DD settled.

Comfy clothes and bond with the baby. Bloody typos!!

Moby wrap sling was also a life saver.

Totally normal. Be kind to yourself and don't expect anything more for a while (good idea to eat if you can; make yourself a sandwich while your H is still at home).

I ate a lot of toast in the early days. It's a huge adjustment and you're doing great.

100% normal. Just do whatever you need to to get through the day. It will change in time but don’t stress now, just relax and enjoy your baby.

Congratulations on your new arrival. Yes sounds totally normal. If you need to get stuff done then a sling is the answer and you might find baby will sleep/settle better in it and you can do most things!

Long time since mine, but it’s the hardest thing to do
Working is far easier

Just be prepared not to have everything spick and span
If it doesn’t get done that day, there’s always another

Most important things to make sure that’s done is
Bottles (if not breastfeeding)
Lots baby grows & bibs
Nappies
Ready meals
Comfy clothes for yourself

Oh and don’t get into
Hubby not doing night feed(he works) it’s harder work at home
Taking over baby when he comes in
Or making tea.
Time away from baby, nice peaceful bath or hour at the shops

All these comments have made me feel a thousand times better! You read all these books of how this are going to be and tbh it's all rubbish.
I've ordered a sling to try as I thought it might help him settle more than anything as he loves to be attached to me.
So glad it's not just me wasn't sure if I'd missed something! Everyone was telling me how the newborn stage is easy but currently I beg to differ, the adjustment is tough.

Also, if you are bottle feeding, your DH should be able to do one of the night feeds, even on work nights. Generally, it's easier being at work in the early weeks.

Invest in a contigo travel mug if you don’t have one. Means you can drink hot tea or coffee without fear of scalding little one asleep on you.

Totally normal though, the first few weeks are constant unfortunately!

So normal!! I'm doing it again and thought it would be more regimented as I have a nearly 7yo DD already. Baby is 6 weeks. I could have written your post. Just enjoy it and relax, you're doing the most important thing - caring for a baby. By 6-12 weeks things go a bit more normal but it's fine to chill about the housework and priotise little one. Enjoy. You'll know when you're ready to get more productive. Yes to a sling. Congratulations on your new addition

The title of your post explains it all. You are a Mum to a young baby. They are very time consuming. You must remember to eat though. I remember feeling like that. Also young babies need care all through the night which is exhausting. You shouldn't be doing anything else.

Oh.amd don't let yourself get too control orientated, if possible. Both times I've ended up doing everything myself out of fear of it being done "wrong" if anyone else (DH) does it. I read a load of news articles about cot death and people who accidentally smothered a baby because they fell asleep = DH not given night feeds (or even childcare duties after 10pm) as I'd seen him asleep with baby on his chest twice. Both times in first week and decided it was now a massive liability. I'm still the same and I know it's irrational but habits made around birth can last a lifetime (well, until they move out!). I wouldn't let him do the sterilizer for weeks as he once put it on without remembering to change the water, I finally allowed him another chance and he's done it since so I don't have to. Had DD2 been poisoned? No.

Don't take everything on yourself, it's a joint venture and anyway if you do then you'll push him further away from your baby as it grows. That's just my twopence worth fromy own experience!

Please get rid of all the books! That will make you feel a thousand times better.

Getting a load of laundry done with a newborn is a huge achievement. Anyone who tells you a newborn is easy has clearly forgotten what a newborn is like. I used to get my DH to leave me food in the fridge so that I had something to eat.

The only thing you might be doing wrong is putting laundry on before feeding yourself! Those days are tough enough without missing out on the nourishment you need to recover from birth and keep a helpless creature alive. Fit your own oxygen mask first....

Get your Dh to make you a packed lunch before he leaves.
I used to shower at night when Dh was around and he'd be around to help make the evening meal. He did the housework on weekends in the early weeks as I was recovering from birth.

You have just had a baby. Even a straight forward delivery, takes time to heal. Rest. Watch Netflix. Eat and drink plenty. And sniff on that baby. Newborns are the best.. Whilst also being very hard work.. Especially the first.
0 to 1 was hardest for me. It's a huge life change.

It all sounds so normal. My wee one was born in April and in the beginning I was just like you. I got by mainly on cereal bars (or anything I could eat with one hand), until someone could prepare a meal for me or take the baby. It's been mentioned above but filling up a contigo/ water bottles so you always have something to drink. Laying out clothes for myself the night before (just leggings/ t shirt - nothing fancy!) also helped me from being in my dressing gown at lunchtime. Nothing wrong with that when you're a new mum, but if I was dressed then I felt that the day had 'started' rather than got away from me IYSWIM. Good luck, you are doing great xx

Sounds dreamy to me Op, don't worry! Enjoy him. He will be dropping his pubes in your shower before you know it!