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Parenting

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Original poster

Leaving children alone for 20-30 seconds - is it okay?

63 replies

user1471550953 · 15/08/2019 11:08

I would be grateful for views on this please.

My partner was taking our children (aged 5 and nearly 2) to the shops. He crossed the road (side road, not busy) outside our house. On the other side of the road, two people with a toddler (who he had not seen before) asked if they could borrow an allen key to build a table. He left the children with them, crossed the road, came back into our house, got the key from the kitchen, and went back out to the children. They would have been out of his view (on the pavement) for 20-30 seconds at most. Is this considered reasonable or should he have taken the children back into the house with him? We have different views on this.

OP posts:

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bloodywhitecat · 15/08/2019 11:12

I would've taken the children with me, I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving children near a busy road with people they didn't know well.

PinkCrayon · 15/08/2019 11:13

I would have taken them with me. They are very young to leave with strangers by a road.

Hotpinkangel19 · 15/08/2019 11:18

I wouldn't. He didn't know them. Makes me laugh how many people would happily leave their children outside a shop/with strangers but wouldn't leave their mobile phone!

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hiddeneverythin · 15/08/2019 11:19

I'd leave them without a doubt.

BertrandRussell · 15/08/2019 11:21

I would have left them if they were happy to be left.

Cannyhandleit · 15/08/2019 11:22

There is no way I could have left my 2 year old, he'd have been off like a shot!

RatherBeRiding · 15/08/2019 11:23

I wouldn't have left young children with complete strangers out of my sight even for 30 seconds. Different if he knew them by sight as locals.

PamelaTodd · 15/08/2019 11:26

I wouldn’t leave a 2 year old the other side of a busy road from me.

Singlenotsingle · 15/08/2019 11:27

Never. Either one could have shot off into the traffic or run off down the road.

Fraggling · 15/08/2019 11:28

I don't think I would leave my young kids with total strangers in the street even for a little while.

But, not been in that situation, maybe I would without thinking.

He judged them to be safe etc presumably. He was there /you weren't.

Fraggling · 15/08/2019 11:30

They lived in the house opposite yours , over a not very busy residential road?

I don't think that's the end of the world if that's how it was.

Kingtiger101 · 15/08/2019 11:33

You know I think you make split second decisions with this sort of thing. I might’ve done what your dh did and then later on been cross with myself. There’s no right answer here.

happycamper11 · 15/08/2019 11:35

Why does no one read the op anymore. Op states 'side road NOT busy' within seconds people have tuned up saying no they wouldn't leave their child by a busy road.

I wouldn't see this as a problem (dc dependant, mine would be fine I know some might try to make a bolt after their df)

titchy · 15/08/2019 11:35

Do you mean complete strangers randomly asked to borrow an Allen key? Or that neighbours he knew, who had an unknown-to-him toddler with him, asked him? Assuming the latter, just because it seems rather peculiar that total strangers would ask to borrow tools, then yes of course that's fine.

pikapikachu · 15/08/2019 11:36

I would have taken my child. A stranger with no experience of very young children might not know that 2 year olds often suddenly run away and are surprisingly fast.

Sundancer77 · 15/08/2019 11:37

Wait, did he know these people? They live opposite you? I thought he hadn’t met them before 🤷‍♀️
If he hadn’t met them/didn’t know them..no way would I leave them, that with the road situation too-no chance.

Simkin · 15/08/2019 11:37

I would have taken them with me. But I can also see myself doing this type of thing and then thinking 'I should have taken them with me' afterwards.

The reason I wouldn't is because an adult my kids don't know wouldn't necessarily be able to stop them doing something stupid. But the risk is very small in 20 seconds.

Kingtiger101 · 15/08/2019 11:37

But they had a toddler with them so did have experience of children.

pikapikachu · 15/08/2019 11:38

Re-read and see that they have a toddler.
These people are strangers - if they bundled your child into a car and drove off your h wouldn't be able to catch up.

Greysparkles · 15/08/2019 11:42

if they bundled your child into a car and drove off your h wouldn't be able to catch up

I'm assuming that these strangers are in fact neighbours? Otherwise it's mighty weird to wander the streets asking for Allen keys as a way to abduct children 🤷‍♂️

BertrandRussell · 15/08/2019 11:43

“Otherwise it's mighty weird to wander the streets asking for Allen keys as a way to abduct children ”
Maybe it’s actually an Alien Key?

UnicornCat · 15/08/2019 11:43

Hell no. That would be a very easy lie to think up to distract someone while they kidnap your children. It's unlikely but why risk it?! Damn, people are stupid.

Sundancer77 · 15/08/2019 11:46

It needs to be established if these people are neighbours or strangers, not that neighbours couldn’t be dodgy though. My first and immediate thought was abduction, does that make me totally paranoid! Followed by the road scenario.

Original poster

user1471550953 · 15/08/2019 11:50

He hadn't seen them before, so they were strangers - although it may b e possible they were also neighbours.

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Apolloanddaphne · 15/08/2019 11:51

If he had never seen them before and had no idea if they lived locally or not he shouldn't have left the children with them. How could he have known their motives? I am not a fearful or anxious parent but I don't think I would have left my children in that scenario.

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