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Original poster

Leaving children alone for 20-30 seconds - is it okay?

63 replies

user1471550953 · 15/08/2019 11:08

I would be grateful for views on this please.

My partner was taking our children (aged 5 and nearly 2) to the shops. He crossed the road (side road, not busy) outside our house. On the other side of the road, two people with a toddler (who he had not seen before) asked if they could borrow an allen key to build a table. He left the children with them, crossed the road, came back into our house, got the key from the kitchen, and went back out to the children. They would have been out of his view (on the pavement) for 20-30 seconds at most. Is this considered reasonable or should he have taken the children back into the house with him? We have different views on this.

OP posts:
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Simkin · 15/08/2019 11:51

I'm surprised the kids didn't follow him anyway tbh.

What's he saying about it?

TheOrigRightsofwomen · 15/08/2019 11:56

I'm pretty chilled I think, but I would NOT leave my children with strangers in this way,

ME asking someone to watch my child while I quickly...I don't know....run across the road to post a letter maybe, but not if a stranger asked to mind my child. No way.

MargoLovebutter · 15/08/2019 11:58

I'd have done this. People massively over-think this stuff.

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titchy · 15/08/2019 11:59

I'm a bit Shock about your DH happily handing over stuff to randomers tbh. And them asking. That's weird.

Simkin · 15/08/2019 12:01

So @titchy your problem is not with leaving the kids with strangers but giving them an allen key? Grin

Original poster
user1471550953 · 15/08/2019 12:01

I was working upstairs, so heard what happened and got cross about it.

He is saying it is fine because the risk of anything happening is so low. Though he has agreed he won’t do it again.

I agree risk is low, but don’t understand why you would take the risk when the possibilities are so awful (car accident or abduction).
I am naturally more anxious (also sight impaired, which I think makes me mega cautious with the children) so it is helpful to get a balance of other parents’ opinions. Thank you.

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 15/08/2019 12:20

So where was the table they wanted to build?

Apolloanddaphne · 15/08/2019 12:24

I don't think giving them an allen key is an issue. We have dozens of them from building many, many Ikea flat packs!

BertrandRussell · 15/08/2019 12:32

Perfect thread for Mumsnet. Fear of stranger abduction and doing a neighbour a favour in one hit!

AmIThough · 15/08/2019 12:37

I wouldn't ask a stranger for an Allan key, or lend one to a stranger.

I wouldn't leave my child with a stranger, or let a stranger leave their child with me (unless in some kind of life or death situation of course)

Kingtiger101 · 15/08/2019 15:47

I wouldn’t know where my Allan keys are to be able to get them in 20 seconds!

mindutopia · 15/08/2019 18:07

I would never leave my children with a stranger. I wouldn’t matter where they were.

RiddleMeThis2018 · 15/08/2019 18:12

My 5 and 6 yos walk to school on their own but, except in some kind of emergency situation, there is no way I would ask them to stay with, and by extension trust, someone I had never seen before.

Billballbaggins · 15/08/2019 18:16

Why would anyone leave their children with a stranger? If I was the person asking to borrow the Allen key (not that I would, I mean doesn’t everyone have loads of random Allen keys in their shit drawer? I definitely do!) and your DH just left your kids with me I’d be like 😮

Cyclemad222 · 15/08/2019 18:20

I would have left DC like your DH did. Depending on the child, if I knew they were fairly well behaved and it was a quiet road. I'd make a call based on my instincts of how trustworthy the strangers were.

It was a tiny amount of time too.

Really the huge majority of people in the world are good people.

WyfOfBathe · 15/08/2019 18:25

I would leave 5 year old on opposite side of the road if I realised I'd left the key in the front door or something. It seems more peculiar to leave them with random strangers looking for an allen key, although I guess I might in the moment but then think "shit, why did I leave her?!" straight afterwards.

I wouldn't leave a 2 year old though

thisisthetime · 15/08/2019 18:35

I wouldn’t leave the 2 year old as I’d be worried they’d follow me into the road. The 5 year old wouldn’t bother me so much if I knew they were sensible. I wouldn’t be overly concerned about them being out of sight for 20 seconds it’s more the road that would bother me.

zippey · 15/08/2019 18:43

I’d be fine with this. As long as it was under 40 seconds.

RiddleMeThis2018 · 15/08/2019 19:50

I’d be fine with this. As long as it was under 40 seconds.
What’s magic about 40 seconds? So 45 seconds with a total stranger on the street is unacceptable, but 39 is ok?

Lumene · 15/08/2019 19:53

I would not leave a 2 year old by a road with unknown adults. It not being busy is not necessarily better it just takes one car and one wrong move in n the child’s part to make it a life changingly bad idea.

MissPollyHadADolly19 · 15/08/2019 19:56

Wtf no never, they were strangers ffs!

Caterina99 · 15/08/2019 20:05

I’d probably leave my 4 year old, but not my nearly 2 year old. Not with strangers and near a road (no matter how quiet). If it was people I knew well then that’s completely different

fairybeagle · 15/08/2019 20:09

Insane, I would never ever do that and think it's unacceptable. I'm with you OP

Chitarra · 15/08/2019 20:14

I couldn't get too worked up about this OP.

georgialondon · 15/08/2019 20:18

I think it was a really stupid thing for him to do. I'd be extremely pissed off.

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