My 3 year old threw a tantrum because I wouldn’t give him his pirate T-shirt

[Imbananas]

I don’t know what to do...he’s still crying!!!!
He’s been crying for the last hour because I wouldn’t give him his pirate T-shirt.
The T-shirt he wants is dirty ... and even if it was clean I wouldn’t give it to him at this time.
He slept from 4 to 6 today as he couldn’t fall asleep earlier and now all hell broke loose.
He’s shouting and screaming and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
I don’t want to give in to his demands but at the same time I want him to stop screaming. 🤦🏻‍♀️🙄

Sit down with a book and ignore him.

Just sit quietly.

God if he wants to wear a dirty t shirt , let him! Pick your battles.

Ear plugs!

He's probably over tired and hopefully a bath, story and bed for a good sleep will help.

Can you wash and dry t shirt by morning as a bribe for him to go to bed nicely?

Meh. I would have given him it. Presumably you are not going out so what difference would it really have made? Other than peace for you and no upset for him. This isn't a battle you needed to win.

Do give it him, he’s probably forgotten what he’s crying about and next time he’ll go for 2/3 hours instead

Don’t

Why don’t you want him to have it?

The reason why I don’t want to give it to him is because for the last couple of weeks his demands of wearing only one/two T-shirt’s only is driving me mad. I have to wash almost every day because he’ll only wear his pirate T-shirt or his Spider-Man T-shirt.
It’s getting ridiculous and I feel like I created this myself by allowing it to go on.
Is this normal?

He doesn’t even want to wear his dinosaur pyjamas anymore because he eats these two T-shirt’s day and night.

Wants*

I’m think it’s normal but I understand where you’re coming from

Why do you have to wash them every day?

He doesn't sweat

If he's got gravy or pasta sauce down them does it really matter?

One of the best things anyone said to me with 2 toddlers was "pick your battles"

It's normal, but I wouldn't give in either.

I'm actually going to only be buying my toddler son boring plane colored t shirts for that age because I remember the endless meltdowns of three year olds about character shirts when I was a professional nanny. And the colored plates. And etc. It's exhausting! I'd just sit and ignore or offer a bath if he wants.

That is totally normal behaviour and it's ok for him to wear them. The 'not giving in to his demands' isn't teaching him anything. He just likes his t shirts. Pick your battles wisely. There is no life lesson for him to learn here.

So buy him two or three sets of each design so that there's always a clean one to wear. Then he'll get bored and want something different. Little boys tee-shirts are cheap as chips!

My teen boys had superman vests when they were v young. They wanted to wear them every day under their school uniform. It was no skin off my nose for them to wear them but was clearly really important to them so they wore them.

No harm done

Seems perfectly normal to me! Why not just let him - it’s much more likely to stop if you don’t make a big deal out of it, I promise.

There’s nothing wrong with giving in sometimes. Little children have so little control over their lives that sometimes it’s good to let them have a bit.

I don’t understand the don’t give him. Toddlers learn behaviour by what you model - you’re just teaching him to be stubborn. If giving him the T-shirt would make him happy why wouldn’t you want to do that?

I see your point of view and it makes sense but giving in all the time doesn’t teach him that I’m easy to play?

We're not saying give in all the time. Give in when it's something unimportant, like the tee-shirt issue. Then when it's important you can tell him it's important, and you aren't prepared to let him have his own way. So you'll still have arguments, but not nearly so many and you'll have more energy to deal with them.

I see your point of view and it makes sense but giving in all the time doesn’t teach him that I’m easy to play?

I don't know what you think you would be giving it to?

If he asks for a pirate t shirt and you let him wear that's ok. It's not giving in, it's simply letting him choose his t shirt.

Don't be a martyr and try and teach him some lesson over his clothes. It's perfectly acceptable for him to want to wear pirates or Spider-Man.

I'm sure you don't give in all the time. I'm also sure that there's very little in your son's life he has control of. I'd just let him wear the two t-shirts until he gets bored. Sponge off any stains at night and chuck it in the airing cupboard so it's dry in the morning.

'Giving in' makes your life sound like a constant fight against your child. It's ok to make him happy.

Ok will do that.
I usually give him two options in the morning and he used to choose his T-shirt. But this escalated to only wanting to wear only two T-shirt’s out all the T-shirt’s available.
I guess i was unreasonable. I understand ...I feel so bad now

Sometimes you pick the battles! We are on holiday at the mo and if it makes you feel better my nearly 11 yr Old has worn the same dress to dinner three nights in a row now!