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Original poster

What do new parents argue over?

65 replies

Bea0001 · 02/08/2007 14:45

Hi,

I am very new to this; after being resolutley childfree the instinct to start a family has suddenly and unexpectedly kicked in. I have lots of questions, the one I would very much like your thoughts on at this stage is what are the key topics new parents argue over. I am hoping my husband and I will be able to get our views on these flash points agreed before the heat of the moment hits us (I recognise there may be a gulf between what we said we do and what we actually feel like doing at the time!) I look forward to your thoughts, and finding my way into what looks like a lovely community.

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Sheherazadethegoat · 02/08/2007 16:10

i had a lot of primitive weirdness with my poor mil. i hated her holding dd and cried if dd smelt of her overpowering perfumes. in my defence i was crazed with tiredness and hormones.

SpawnHorcrux · 02/08/2007 16:21

barbamama - lololol that is so true

rebelmum1 · 02/08/2007 16:36

Whose the most tired
Who got up the most in the night
Who slept the longest
Who most deserves a lie in
Who hasn't washed up ..done their share of housework
who has had the most nights out
spent the most money
when to put them in their own room
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee everything...!!

We spent most of first yr arguing and now we're really chilled. In hindsight would have discussed all this stuff before.

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mankyscotslass · 02/08/2007 16:43

Rebelmum1....we did discuss all that stuff before, and we still argued due to sleep deprivation!

Gizmo · 02/08/2007 16:48

Yes, the arguing has nothing to do with real disagreements about facts, and everything to do with the fact that both of you sincerely believe that you are the most tired, stressed and put-upon person in the history of parenting, ever. And that the other party is simply a bone idle, insensitive and manipulative tosser.

Or was that just us?

rebelmum1 · 02/08/2007 16:48

That's good to know

motherinferior · 02/08/2007 16:48

That's the thing - most of the time it's not arguments about a particular issue, it's arguments because you want to argue. Well, actually what you want to do is attack the other person with a large instrument, but you don't have the energy so you'll settle for arguing.

rebelmum1 · 02/08/2007 16:49

nope its not just you..

rebelmum1 · 02/08/2007 16:50

I imagined everyone else was in baby bliss and it was us.

Gizmo · 02/08/2007 16:51

Good to know.

Actually, I kinda did know this - there are at least two threads in the Relationships section at the moment where you can see the whole sorry chapter beginning to unfold.

Makes me actually.

theUrbanDryad · 02/08/2007 16:51

we have a 6mo. we have argued mainly about:
who's the tiredest
why he sleeps more soundly than me
why he doesn't get up half 6 and take ds downstairs so i can get some more sleep like all my friend's husbands do
his mother
money
his mother
money again
his job
his mother
me drinking/being around smokers whilst breastfeeding
his mother
my mother
his mother
money

Doodledootoo · 02/08/2007 16:51

Message withdrawn

rebelmum1 · 02/08/2007 16:52

I still maintain if I knew what I know now, love wouldn't come into it. I'd pick a man who washed, cooked, cleaned, needed no sleep, worked and was sensitive and selfless, and liked going to play barns.

Gizmo · 02/08/2007 16:53

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

God yes, the Baby Bliss thing!!!!!

In retrospect that's hilarious isn't it: the belief that weeks of sleep deprivation and immersion in poo would bring you to a state of previously unknown marital harmony

rebelmum1 · 02/08/2007 16:53

never talked back and worshipped the ground i walked on.

rebelmum1 · 02/08/2007 16:55

and didn't mind you fat, grumpy, unwashed with leaky boobs

LucyJones · 02/08/2007 16:55

We argue most about whose turn is it to get up at 6.30am, money and how we spend our free time.
Dh insists as he works all week he deserves ' me time' at the w/ends.
I insist that as I do most of the childcare in the week then the w/ends should be send as a family.

LucyJones · 02/08/2007 16:55

spent as a family

rebelmum1 · 02/08/2007 16:58

absolutely i resented dp's hobbies with a vengence

legalalien · 02/08/2007 17:04

"but WHY can't you sleep during the day when baby is asleep? You would be much less tired and cranky".

I just can't sleep in the day. I HATE those books that tell you to sleep when baby sleeps and it will all be fine!

SpawnHorcrux · 02/08/2007 17:08

legalalien - are you another of these incompetents who can't fall asleep every hour and a half for 15 minutes? Tsk.

theUrbanDryad · 02/08/2007 17:09

ah yes, legalalien, dh asked why i didn't sleep duringt the day. i screamed back at him BECAUSE THEN I'D NEVER LEAVE THE FUCKING HOUSE!!!!!

rebelmum1 · 02/08/2007 17:10

it might actually be easier to seperate for that first year and they just post you the money.

theUrbanDryad · 02/08/2007 17:11

my friend is pg at the moment, and has just split up fom the father of the baby. i am so jeaqlous, i've always said the last thing you need when you've got a small baby is a man!!

AnnieOleHouseElf · 02/08/2007 17:13

Two years, and two babies down the line, we mostly argue about:

His feckin interfering mother.

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