Do I need to wash DS's duvet every day when night training?

[WontonsMower]

DS is 4.5, starting school in Sept. Never been dry at night. Day time potty training was a long drawn-out process but he's fine. I thought about starting night training as per the Oh Crap book when he was about 3.5 but everyone said to just wait for the hormone...

So he's been in pull-ups every night, never ever been dry. He's a heavy sleeper.

However I'm starting to suspect his sodden nappy pants are partly down to weeing at night/in the morning in bed because he can't be bothered to get up. He's just come down at 9.30pm still awake and admitted he's wet the bed as his nappy's leaked. So I'm washing the sheets and duvet, and we don't have a spare (it's v warm so he can sleep under the empty duvet cover tonight!) - he often stays awake until quite late despite our best efforts (light off etc).

I had been thinking about night training properly once he'd settled in at school but honestly I can't face washing a duvet every day. Sheets- ok. I don't have a tumble dryer (or really any space for one). Do I need to shell out for spare duvets and a tumble dryer just to stop him wetting the bed? How on earth do people do it? Most of my friends just seemed to wait until the dc had dry nappies at night. We have those towelling training pants but they don't really contain anything.

(He's definitely not been asleep tonight as he's been down a few times, so this has all been while he's awake.)

if he is struggling that much, I would wait until he’s ready. I think sometimes the hormones don’t kick in until they’re 7/8..

What’s the rush? Wee before bed, and again if he’s awake a while before he sleeps. Wee as soon as he’s up in the morn. Once the pull up is dry reliably between then, you don’t need it anymore

We're reinstating this as we've had a chat with the OP off the boards, and we've no reason to believe that this isn't genuine (though we never can tell for sure)... Sorry, OP!

Don't rush him. DS was 9 before he was reliably dry at night.

Go to the ERIC website where they have lots of advice. It sucks when they take so long to get dry but trying to force it makes it stressful for all of you.

Layer your bottom sheets with waterproof ones and look at getting cot duvets which fit in the washing machine more easily and dry more quickly

It's hormonal, you should wait it out. Try different nappy pants if they're not working.

How is he wetting the duvet? I've had frequent bed settings but only occasionally have I had to wash the duvet. Is he lying on top of it? If it is just a tiny bit of wee where the duvet has rested on the damp sheet I wouldn't bother. Do you have an absorbent mattress protector beneath the sheet?

Just keep him in pull ups until he is dry in the morning he's still very young. His body might not be ready yet all children develop at different rates there is no hurry. Some children are not dry at night until they are 8 or 9. They all get there in the end.

Amazed that this could be seen as trolling (?!) - depressing state of affairs - but it's genuine. Have posted a fair bit about potty training over the last couple of years! Would actually love to know if there's something 'unbelievable' about it as then I'd know if our situation was unusual. He's my first child so no experience to compare against.

Anyway I was resigned to waiting it out, I'd just kind of like to know if he's actually weeing while asleep or if he could potentially be dry if he got up. Luckily for us he's a good sleeper and will lie in bed for ages some mornings if he can, but that's what making me wonder if he's just wetting then.

I think him starting school is making me wonder if we should be doing anything to 'train'! I also read the thread about those bedwetting alarm mats and saw that they were quickly successful in many cases which makes me wonder if it is actually always all about the hormone.

He only wet the bed last night because of a freak leak and/or having had loads of drink yesterday (he doesn't normally drink enough imo). So I'm not worried about regular nappy leaking (and yes we have waterproof bottom sheets) but wondered if we needed to 'do' something ie try to go to sleep without nappy pants and see if that made a difference but risk lots of wet bedding!

I think in your situation I would try taking him out of pull ups now, before the stress of starting school and whilst the weather is hot and sunny for doing laundry.

If after a week or so he isn’t having any dry nights then I would go back to pull ups, but from what you’ve said it does sound like he might be weeping when awake so he doesn’t need to get out of bed, and in that case hormones aren’t anything to do with it.

Have you tried putting a potty in his bedroom if he can't be bothered to get up? It might make it a bit easier for him?

Probably a good idea persevering in the summer while it's hot and take the duvet off. We always keep a few light blankets so if there is an accident we use that while the duvet is in the wash.

Good idea re potty.
I think he's been in nappies at night his whole life and just wonder if there's some sort of signal to his brain that it's ok to wee in them!

Mine are now grown up but back then it was thought ok to either sit them on a potty or take to toilet just before you went to bed yourself.

DS1 wasn't reliably dry until year 6. It's not a totally unbelievable situation (although I can see why people might think it's the pee troll back again).

You can get waterproof duvet covers pretty cheaply (www.tonystextiles.co.uk/products/mattress-protectors.html?item_ref=72604&item_var=5055), I'd get two of those and rotate as needed.

Every child is different and if you have no other concerns about your son's health I'd just assume in this he will be one of the late ones. All 3 of my dc have achieved reliable dryness at very different stages. Don't panic.

This may help....

www.eric.org.uk/Pages/Category/bedwetting

Personally I would wait until after he has started and once he is settled in school.

trying link again

Ahhh thanks for the waterproof duvet cover link! I didn't know you could get those.

MyNewBearTotoro
I think in your situation I would try taking him out of pull ups now, before the stress of starting school and whilst the weather is hot and sunny for doing laundry.

If after a week or so he isn’t having any dry nights then I would go back to pull ups, but from what you’ve said it does sound like he might be weeping when awake so he doesn’t need to get out of bed, and in that case hormones aren’t anything to do with it.

.....

Agree with the above and, honestly op, duvets are really not very expensive. In your position I'd buy another one.

It's warm, id just use a blanket or duvet cover. Something easy to wash.

I did not realise there was sick a thing as night training. We took off pull ups once they were regularly dry at night and that took longer in some of them than others. I know there is a hormone that controls might dryness and until that kicks in at the right level night dryness is not likely.

*sick = such

I've looked at the Eric website before but actually feel slightly vindicated that one of the leaflets says 'Some parents are wary about taking off nappies/pull ups until the child has some dry nights. But some children will not be dry as long as they are wearing some protection - they go to sleep knowing it doesn't matter if they wee in their sleep and that is just what happens. They are not being lazy - they don't have any control while they are asleep. So be brave! Try without nappies or pull ups for at least a week - longer if you can manage it - before you decide if your child is a bed wetter.'

So essentially what totoro said

You won't want to hear this, but my 11tr old DD is still wing the bed most nights. I have four duvets in rotation, because sometimes it's two accidents a night and I'm washing two and hoping they'll be dry the next night. Our washing piles are insane.

It's getting really depressing.