Fucking toddlers

[ParrotsForLife]

I’m at the end of my tether. DS has just turned two and is in full Toddler Dictator mode at the minute.
I know it’s normal, I’m a rational, usually calm adult, but, fuck me, it’s hard work.
Every suggestion, choice, direct telling is met with No.
Hes launched cups and bowls full of food and drink, unprompted, mid meal, across my —fucking— rented house.
We have 1-2-1 play times, we read books, get out for the day and go to the park etc, he plays by himself for short periods, he’s just a normal toddler and I’m just a normal mum and it’s fucking hard work.
I am rapidly reading ‘how to talk to little kids’ when he’s asleep.

Much sympathy, OP! Sounds perfectly normal and you're not a failure. They get better as their language/ understanding develops.

They are little adorable twats at that age. I now have teens who are big adorable twats. The bit in the middle were the golden years

The toddler stage was far far harder than my teenagers (14 & 16). The good thing is they change really quickly. Choose your battles, try to keep calm and remember its completely normal.

I feel as though I'm the only person on Mumsnet who found How To Talk.. a bit useless.

DD (3) just ended up turning all the bloody toddler-management tools round on me. She'd be on the point of throwing a tantrum and then she'd stop and think, then say - in a voice dripping with empathy - "I'm sorry, Mummy. I know how much you love looking at books. The problem is, we need to get to the playground before it shuts. We can go to the bookshop next time when we're not in a hurry" .

(Three year-olds are sods in a completely different way!!)

I had twin toddlers, that was an experience I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy 🤣. I actually thought about lending them to an extreme organisation to use a a torture method! An afternoon with my twins and the prisoner would talk......

I read the thread title and thought 'finally a post I can relate to' nothing wrong with it at all!
I have 2 and fuck me they've been draining the last couple of weeks! I threaten daily to sell them on eBay!

OP I adore my child.
I also spent yesterday in tears because it was so fucking hard. It all started with the simple task of trying to get him to change into clothes from PJs.
From then the whole day was f>|*}€ horrible.
I am a very sensitive mum who is ever so considerate and gentle.
Yesterday I questioned my parenting choices and though I had ruined him and I should have been more authoritarian.
They make you question your entire belief system.

I am still stressed from yesterday but at least DH is around today.

Hugs OP

He is 2 btw

Don’t give too many choices. Only two.

This is a life lesson - it works with grown ups too.

Your thread title is fine. Could you build in something nice outside the house, just for you, for an hour or two each week? An hour at a coffee shop with a magazine, a walk, rent a storage locker to scream in, that kind of thing?

I hear you too OP. I've a 3 and 4 year old and my head has well and truly fell off.

It's 09:05 on a Saturday morning and I've already had three hours of total destruction. I actually look forward to going to work for some respite

This is good:

nightclubstonightfeeds.com/2016/03/17/29-reasons-that-toddlers-are-like-tiny-dictators/

The is fuck I’m not alone 😂 DS threw an epic wobbler this morning when we were about to walk to the shops. Which he wanted to do until the last second.
DP hasn’t witnessed such a tantrum before and was a bit shellshocked.

Today's tantrums

Got him dressed didn't want to wear pants. Don't blame him.

Took him away from soft play to clean his nappy.

Made him sit to eat.

Didn't get him chips for lunch.

Had to share his 3 books with his friend who thought his tantrums were hilarious.

Put him in a car seat

Took him out a car seat

Kept him awake in car.

Put him into his cot with the wrong combination of toys.

Put a blanket on him.

Put the wrong cartoons on.

Hat stuck in cot when he's out of it.

We're so close now though, soon be dinner and bed time routine. End is in sight

Thomas You have one smart cookie there :o :o

Yesterday took my DD to a summer fair put her on a ride, she lasted 20 seconds screamed to get of, took her of ride starts moving.... SCREAMS to get back on 🤦🏻‍♀️

FML today was so bad I left him with his dad and went for the longest walk

Everything was NO
Everything was drama

Wow this thread is giving me flashbacks! DD was AWFUL!!! I didn’t like her very much for a long time and that’s an rubbish feeling. I don’t think I coped with any of it very well but hindsight is a wonderful thing. She carried on being very difficult until she was 3.5yr, ruined so many family gatherings, it was awful. What changed was that a family member witnessed her kicking off like something from the exorcist (again) and just said ‘well I’d put that in a room and shut the door’!!!!! To be fair to said relative she has four children who are lovely, sociable, well behaved, not neglected! Long story short, I stopped giving the tantrums so much attention, faux cheerful/calm tone to my voice, carry on with life as best as possible while it’s happening. I know that’s not easy when you just need to get shit done. No point trying to reason with said crazy brained toddler, not once tantrum is in full flow. And cuddles after, explain what happened and move on. Good luck to you all!

My almost 3yo is the same.

We took her on holiday and discussed coming home after the second day (it was a week-long trip) - she was that bad.

She tantrummed because -

She didn't want to walk.
She didn't want to go in the pushchair.
She didn't want me or DH to carry her.
She didn't want me to get the pushchair up some stairs.
She didn't want to go through a door.
She didn't want me to shut the door.

Each time howling and rolling around on the ground.

This was JUST THE FIVE MINUTE JOURNEY FROM OUR HOTEL ROOM TO THE BREAKFAST ROOM.

It was like this all day long 🙈

We stuck it out the end fuck knows why

Oh dear lord! I have a nearly 1 year old and I'm starting to see small glimpses of tantrums (kicking off in the highchair when I put her bib on, refusing to lie down for a nappy change/to get dressed etc). This thread scares me 🙈.

Ours is 2 next month. Some of the time he's great, really chatty, very playful. Other times he is a right nob. Mainly bed time when he runs back and forth across the room when you are reading a story. Even my incredible calm and serene husband claimed he had to go for a walk after being called Dirty Daddy and having his knee bitten. Then today we had him performing his "roly poly" in the supermarket whilst screaming just for fun. He's asleep now thank god.

@Flatwhite32 I was thinking EXACTLY the same thing. I'm so scared and really not patient enough to deal with this stuff 😂

Agree with Pant x

But but but!!!
Today, no tantrums. Zero
Tomorrow will be tough. I am already terrified.

I have twin toddlers, your thread title is absolutely fine and the poster who pulled you up on it can bore off!!

It's tough OP, I absolutely feel your pain and I sincerely hope we all just manage to pull through it.

I literally had to carry one of mine off a ferry whilst trying to restrain all their flailing limbs so she wouldnt kick or hit someone accidentally mid tantrum.

I love my babies but goodness it's not easy.

Yay! a thread that describes exactly what toddlers are like! Nasty, horrible creatures that can be also lovable and cute in the next minute, just so you feel even more guilty, like there's not enough mother's guilt already.
What helps is - wine! :) Time alone in the toilet, just block the door with something for a few minutes, let them scream outside. (I have twins and though one is better than the other, they can both be little shitbags)
What doesn't help - MIL telling you that you are too soft with them (because she did such a fucking great job bringing up her son) and the 'they only do it because you're mum, they only play up for you'. Considering moving out until they're 19.
There are some good ideas on this thread about how to handle a meltdown but there will always be a time when you give him the wrong colour cup or cut up his sandwich when he wanted to eat a whole one. Frankly, sometimes I try to reason, other times I just can't give a crap about it and walk away and block out the next half an hour...