leaving kids in the car -- evil or sensible?

[oregonianabroad]

Is it totally wrong to be tempted to leave kids in the car just for a few minutes to avoid waking them and strapping them into pushchairs? I sometimes think it would be so much easier to leave them in and pop inside for a minute, but always worry that something terrible could happen while I was in the shop or whatever (but of course, we could all be flattened by a bus on the way in, or even more likely, my 2 year old could pull over a shelffull of crap in his quest for getting whatever he wants). Just curious what other people think?

In the US it is illegal.

Here is a sad story i read about a dad who forgot his son in the car. However, in California where I live it is so hot that they say it could take less then 30 mins to hurt child. Anyway, I wouldn't do it.

www.ktvu.com/news/13767517/detail.html

Oh my god, Leati, that is awful. I was reading another thread this afternoon about a dad that gave his daughter out of date yogurt -- kind of puts things in perspective a bit.

Leati it's not illegal in all states though surprisingly enough - think its roughly 11 states where it is illegal. It isn't illegal here in CO, just not recommended and you can be prosecuted for wilful neglect. The good thing is here in the States you don't have to go up to the window to pay if you can pin at the gas station. So I never have to leave my kids unattended on the forecourt.

Oregonianabroad, I've done it many times. Only last week DS2 fell asleep in the car on the way home so rather than disturb him (who likes being woken for no reason?) I left him asleep, with the car window ajar, while I sat on the front doorstep, with the laptop, where i could see him. Yes, I had to leave him unattended for less than a minute while I grabbed the laptop but i was confident that he was perfectly safe in that time.

I have left the children in the car, sleeping in our drive, watching and checking regularly, as long as it wasn't too hot.

Oregonianabroad, that was my DH that fed my DD2 out-of-date yoghurt. He's actually great in every other respect, though - no harm would ever come to them in his care because he's so vigilant (except when it comes to checking BB dates on food!).
My colleague at work's DH strapped their 18mo son into his car, then went back into the house to get his wallet. It took him a few minutes to find the wallet, then when he returned to the car it was on fire! They tried in vain to save their son, but he was dead. He would be 28 now. Not surprisingly, she goes crazy if she spots anybody leaving a child in a car. She even scolded me for leaving my sleeping DS in my car when I visited my workplace one day, even though the car was parked at the window and I could see him clearly. Not wanting to awaken him, I had to leave.

lady007, that's a horrific story, but it must be so, so rare. though, now I'll be paranoid every time I nip back in to get something.

hmmm..high numbers were for us which is a lot bigger..and can't quite see itas being illegal for teh uk, tbh...considering recent happenigns and teh involvelment and judgement of teh police....

Nobody at work knows why her car went on fire, but that was 1980 and I feel maybe cars are better built nowadays and not as likely to go up in flames for no reason.

I "accidentally" left DS2 in the car a couple of weeks ago when I had to pick up DS1 from nursery.

I felt terrible. I tried to remember if I had locked the car, and I thought I had, but I still couldn't wait to get out of there and make sure he was OK.

Even if he is asleep, unless I forget about him!, I ALWAYS get him out of the car (even if he does "need" a sleep...)

lady007pink-- sorry, didn't mean any disrespect; was laughing about how different male & female attitudes to childrearing are on your thread, but leati's story is no laughing matter.
was just interrupted by dh showing me how he had managed to turn an entire load of laundry pink, including my lovely white linen trousers.

in my case sensible - very few pay at the pumps here in Aus. It is better to leave 2yo, 5yo with sn - who I have to have hold of or she would take off and a baby in the car whilst I go and pay for petrol. Have also left them in the car when ducking into bread shop - huge open front where I can see them - about 5 steps from the car. Usually if I have all 3 - then only do little things - would never be gone more than a couple of minutes and can see car at all times. WIndows down and window blinds on - in my case far safer than trying to manage all three of them - if I have to - two in the buggy and toddler seat and one being held onto at all times.

When I had just one of them or dd2 and 3 - depending on where I was - take them with me.

Really is a judgement call. each makes the best decision at the time for their circumstances.

If you are going to, though, and it's OK seeing as absolutely everyone here is talking about only a few seconds so what's the big deal, making sure they can BREATHE is major.
Personally, the notion that 'well, accidents and explosions can happen anywhere anytime' OK but the guilt trip of 'oh God, if only I hadn't left DC....' for a lifetime is not good.
BTW, about 15 years ago we had left my granny in the car parked outside Battersea Dog's Home while we popped in quickly to see if a pup had arrived. We came out 20 minutes later, police everywhere, granny in tears on the kerb with ambulancemen taking her blood pressure. She couldn't even tell them where we were so they were v. stroppy at first thinking OAP abandonment no doubt.Apparently an idiot with new licence over the speed limit hit our car from behind with granny snoozing in the back.She got the most terrifying shock of her life not to mention a helluva rude awakening! Can't imagine my 9yo and 1yo in her place, though.[shiver emoticon]

No, never. It doesn't even take a car thief a few minutes to steal your car. I think that leaving young children alone is totally irresponsible, IMHO.

So when do you start leaving them? I leave DS sometimes listening to music when I go in to get DD from nursery. He is fine. 6 and a half. My worst fear for them is that they will be upset. So I sometimes leave DS and DD together where I wouldn't leave DD alone.

My experience with my 3 year old left in car asleep. Went into Argos to take something back in there for 10 minutes, hot day. Left window slightly opened, dd dropped her bunny and all hell broke loose. Was having such a head fit, not because I wasn't there because couldn't pick up her bunny. Just as I got back to car there were police writing down my details, they were just about to break in and take my child to social services. Oh my g-d. The only time I will leave my children in the car, is when paying for petrol, outside my house or picking my dd up from school, as long as I can see them. But I know what you mean by not wanting to wake them up.

My experience with my 3 year old left in car asleep. Went into Argos to take something back in there for 10 minutes, hot day. Left window slightly opened, dd dropped her bunny and all hell broke loose. Was having such a head fit, not because I wasn't there because couldn't pick up her bunny. Just as I got back to car there were police writing down my details, they were just about to break in and take my child to social services. Oh my g-d. The only time I will leave my children in the car, is when paying for petrol, outside my house or picking my dd up from school, as long as I can see them. But I know what you mean by not wanting to wake them up.

in australia its actually illegal and one of my internet twin mummy friends got fined for leaving her DT's in the car outside HER HOUSE while she nipped back in to get a bag....

as a child protection social worker, we have been out to visit families who have left children in cars on several occasions.

however, this is usually on the back of the police being called, as somebody has witnessed the child being very distressed, escaping from the car or othersuch.

usually these follow ups mean that the parent has left the child for a serious length of time, 20 mins plus.

although it is illegal to leave a child unattended (anywhere), neglect constitutes actual harm to the child and as such, you can only be prosecuted if the child has suffered harm of some sort (injury or emotional).

i leave my dd at petrol stations etc, particularly if sleeping, but not out of view and for never more than several minutes.

Common sense approach tends to work for me as opposed to hard and fast yes/no.