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Parenting

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Original poster

Encountered a very cheeky child today - what would you have done?

47 replies

VoluptuaGoodshag · 27/07/2007 22:07

Encounterd a wee girl today aged approx 5/6 in a soft play area who dragged my DD off a merrygoround then promptly sat there herself with her wee sister and smacked anyone else who tried to get on. Whoever was in charge of her was no-where in sight so she was left to merrily upset and annoy every other child in the vicinity.

Whilst looking around for whover was in charge of her, I told her off for smacking and said that it was naughty to smack and that it wasn't her turn on the merrygoround, and told my DD just to ingore her until she went away.

She then continued to goad me for about 10 minutes whilst I was sitting at a table by coming right up behind me and shouting that I was the one with the cheeky, naughty daughter. I continued to ignore her and she got really lippy and said "so you think you can just sit there and ignore me then?" in a really adult manner.

Eventually her Mum appeared and asked what the problem was. It was explained to her that £1 had been put in the merrygoround for my kids but hers were comandeering it for themselves. She stormed off and came back with £1 and slammed it down on our table and said "here's your £1". She then tried to give her DD a telling off but only got a mouthful of abuse and a tantrum in return. Without actually resolving the tantrum, she stormed back out again leaving her two daughters to go back to creating havoc.

I've still got my jaw on the floor at the indignation of it all and feel for my DD.

OP posts:

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Leati · 27/07/2007 22:24

I actually feel a little sorry for her mom. It sounds like she is finding it difficult to parent. That is such a young age to behave like that. But then yesterday I was at football practice and a little boy(5/6) was calling his sis a whore.

Next, time loudly tell your daughter that you are so proud of her for being so well behaved and how sad it is that some children don't know how to behave.

Aitch · 27/07/2007 22:34

nutters

kittywits · 27/07/2007 22:37

crap parent alert., poor you, poor kids

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winestein · 27/07/2007 22:38

It sounds like her daughter is running the show and she doesn't know how to behave.

And she sounds like a nutter.

brimfull · 27/07/2007 22:39

I would have done what you did.

Agree she's an inadequate parent and child is copying her manners.Quite sad really.

Doodledootoo · 27/07/2007 22:40

Message withdrawn

CountTo10 · 27/07/2007 22:43

Bit shocked at the front on the child!!! But do feel bit for the parent as well as sounds like they have their hands full. Having had a very boisterous child tho, wouldn't just let them run rampage!!!

Original poster

VoluptuaGoodshag · 27/07/2007 22:50

This all took place in one of those Brewers Fayre places where there is a designated bit where families go to eat which is adjacent to the play area. The mum and dad were at a table where they couldn't see the play area and were nursing a new baby so yeah perhaps they had their hands full and the wee girl's was feeling a bit left out of it but I'd say that the way she spoke and behaved gave the impression that she'd been like this for a while, long before the baby arrived.

Fate decreed that when we finally had lunch we were sat at a table near them and they seemed totally non-plussed by it all. Amazingly the two daughters ate their lunch without much misbehaving at all.

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3andnomore · 27/07/2007 22:53

Gosh...I know where you coming from...but also kow that sometimes, no matter how good a parent can be, Kids turn out like that....and well, at least that woman didn't give you lip....I mean, that would be worse....she was probably just completely embaressd...

Aitch · 27/07/2007 23:11

sounded to me like the woman was also rude, tbh.

3andnomore · 27/07/2007 23:14

hmmm. but if we are stressed out (and this women has also has a newborn, so sleep deprivation....3 children hard work and all that at the best of times) we easily seem rude, sound rude or whatever....

suzycreamcheese · 27/07/2007 23:27

voluptua..
rude and obnoxious behaviour..in extremis!
probably would have acted the same as you but would have said something back to her..
'not igoring you i just dont speak to rude kids that smack'
...i am too gobby not to reply...

sorry for your dd and your day out but you sounded calm cool and was good for your dd to see that in this situation ..

Aitch · 27/07/2007 23:36

3andnomore, lol, she slammed down a quid! you are sweet for trying, though.

3andnomore · 27/07/2007 23:39

only because I been there, and probably was that woman at one time....differnt issues, and the child in question would be younger (thank god he doesn't do things like that anymore)...but tis hard work to keep it all together...and sometimes those ohter people seem to be jsut enemies....

Original poster

VoluptuaGoodshag · 27/07/2007 23:42

Believe me I so wanted to growl "piss off you little trog" I had to bite my tongue. But that would have been silly and immature . But hell it would have been good.

OP posts:

cylon · 27/07/2007 23:49

if i had some woman say to me that she had put a pound infor her kids, and they hadnt been able to use it because of my childs behaviour. i would have been fuming. not so much at the woman, but at life the universe and everything. my already low self esteem would have hit rock bottom etc etc etc...
i would also not really have been left in a proper state to deal with obviously difficutl children.

perhaps you could have explained the situation without the mention of th emoeny?

Original poster

VoluptuaGoodshag · 27/07/2007 23:56

It wasn't me who explained the situation but my friend. That's the bit I get uncomfortable with unfortunately. I wouldn't have mentioned it as I was more bothered about the general cheek.

It's hard to put it into perspective but there were plenty other kids running to their mothers complaining that the girl had smacked them. That wasn't addressed at all.

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suzycreamcheese · 28/07/2007 01:21

vg
i hate when that happens...someone talking for ya..
cylon the pound is neither here nor there imho
but actually gave the woman something to focus on other than behavour
they obviously knew how to behave as they did when they were eating...

trog comment vp..lol

kiskidee · 28/07/2007 01:46

no advice but this is one of the reasons i don't go to soft play areas. the absent parents of cheeky kids.

Nevermind the mother's attitude to you. She has created her own monster (poor child). Can you imagine what she will be like when she is 9, or 14?

Tortington · 28/07/2007 01:47

i would have given the lady her pound back and said " the money isn't the point dear, it's the principle. I think your daughter should apologise!"

Original poster

VoluptuaGoodshag · 28/07/2007 09:26

You're right custy. I was sort of caught in the headlamps myself and a huge reminder of why I don't like confrontation. I wish that's exactly what I'd done. Shall put it down to experience and try to do the right thing the next time.

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BandofMuggles · 28/07/2007 09:33

I would have been horrified that my kids had stolen the ride you had paid for, I would have taken her off let your child back on and given you a quid and an apology.
I also would have said to her when she slammed down the quid that the money isn't really the point, but her DD taking your child off and then hitting her when she tried to get back on.

Tired or not, it's not on.

We're all tired, we all have bad days, esp with a newborn, but still.............

WideWebWitch · 28/07/2007 09:36

I'd have bollocked the child and looked innocent when the vile mother came over. And I'd have probably taken the quid with a sideways smile at rude child. And walked away, calmly, smiling.

WideWebWitch · 28/07/2007 09:36

So I mean I'd have bollocked child NOT in the mothers earshot.

haychee · 28/07/2007 09:39

I have been in similar situations rom time to time and it is a very uncomfortable feeling to have to tell off another child when the parent is nowhere to be seen.

My dds where playing outside my sisters house on a patch of grass the other day, this area is quite rough, typical council estate, shopping trolleys around, broken down cars on the drives and numerous kids playing out with no supervision and terrible language. An older couple of boys where around and pushed dd2 off of an telephone exchange box, then they scarpered when she started to cry. I was furious and kept a watch for them coming back and they did. I went right into one on this boy, "how dare you go around pushing little girls around!, you go and sit on that wall and ill push you off!" I could tell he couldnt care less about me or my dd. I demanded he apologised to her, and he did but with no sincerity. Little sod! Anyway they went off and came back a few times calling my 2dds C#nts! Charmimg!
But i did worry that the mother or father would be out shortly (probobly with excellent language also) having a go at me. But i know it wasnt right and it had to be said. My dds were just playing not hurting anybody, why should i just sit there and let older boys push them around and swear at them?! No chance!

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