Encountered a very cheeky child today - what would you have done?

[VoluptuaGoodshag]

Encounterd a wee girl today aged approx 5/6 in a soft play area who dragged my DD off a merrygoround then promptly sat there herself with her wee sister and smacked anyone else who tried to get on. Whoever was in charge of her was no-where in sight so she was left to merrily upset and annoy every other child in the vicinity.

Whilst looking around for whover was in charge of her, I told her off for smacking and said that it was naughty to smack and that it wasn't her turn on the merrygoround, and told my DD just to ingore her until she went away.

She then continued to goad me for about 10 minutes whilst I was sitting at a table by coming right up behind me and shouting that I was the one with the cheeky, naughty daughter. I continued to ignore her and she got really lippy and said "so you think you can just sit there and ignore me then?" in a really adult manner.

Eventually her Mum appeared and asked what the problem was. It was explained to her that £1 had been put in the merrygoround for my kids but hers were comandeering it for themselves. She stormed off and came back with £1 and slammed it down on our table and said "here's your £1". She then tried to give her DD a telling off but only got a mouthful of abuse and a tantrum in return. Without actually resolving the tantrum, she stormed back out again leaving her two daughters to go back to creating havoc.

I've still got my jaw on the floor at the indignation of it all and feel for my DD.

If they had come out what would you have said to them??

Would of had to of stood my ground, would of been shaking like a leaf and proboly been stuttering with fright. But it was wrong and he cant be behaving like that to my dc. Id proboly say, "im sorry, ive just had to tell off your son, he just pushed my daughter over for no aparrent reason and i dont like to see bigger boys pushing around little girls" hopefully the parent would see it as wrong too.

They probably would, but might not have admitted it. I would have too, just wondered what you would have done.

Being nosy really.

I wouldn't have been able to allow a child to march over to my table and tell me off I don't think

I would probably have told her off

then regretted it as I bet it would have exacerbated the situation

I encounter 2 cheeky children every day. Unfortunately they are mine.
But really, I would have approached the mum too. In theory, you can't tell your children off if you have no idea they have done something naughty.
There was another thread like this, but from the other viewpoint. Parenting is a minefield isn't it! What a shame we can't just leave them at play areas and go shopping!

I did tell the wee girl she'd been naughty for smacking in the first instance. When she started talking back to me I told her sternly that she was being very cheeky. After that I just shut up because she was obviously goading me.

I think I feel so bad because I feel like I've let my daughter down somehow and should have been more demonstrative in some way to set her an example of how to deal with the situation. Feel like a kid again myself. I wasn't exactly bullied and always stood my ground but generally just walked away from the situation and hid. Well done Haychee for standing up to them.

I've turned into a total woose. Heck I remember giving chase twice when my car was broken into, although backed down when I realised what a stupid and dangerous situation I was getting myself into. Feel worse thinking I did it over a car but wasn't big enough to do so for my child.

note to self. Remember you were once assertive.

The child sounds quite horrid tbh. It's funny how we can deal with some of the situations that life throws at us- I once found a burglar in my house and started to hit him and tried to throw him down the stairs, how stupid of me- but it can take one small child to reduce us to a quiverring wreck. Oh the power they can have! Don't feel bad, just be glad she wasn't your child!

I pity her poor teachers...

Poor mother of the girl, sounds like she has got a very bright child to contend with. Folk dont realise that the bright ones are often the most unruly as they do seem to come over adult like.

If it were your child Volup, what action might you of taken?

I don't think she was coming over as an adult. I think that she was being rude.

Being clever isn't an excuse for poor bahaviour.

MB how would you deal with the child who thinks she is an adult?

I would gently and politly tell them
a. that they are not adults
b. that adults tend not to spent 5 minutes making a nucence of themselves by goading other people in the area
c. That I am an adult and that they should go away and stop bothering me.

Bright children are not adults and we don't do them any favours by playing along with their misunderstanding that they are. IME poor behaviour in children is often caused by adults lacking the confidence to asset the fact that they are the adults and not the children.

I work with some exceptionally bright children, but in the end they are children and I am the adult in the room. If I forget that I'm doing the kids are disservice

and all the people in my lab know that I'm in charge. I spend a long time working towards that understanding. It makes them more happy and confident.

It isn't a case of putting them down. It is a case of giving them a reality check.

Agree with all that mb. like your post muchly

Ok I agree MB but I have to say it doesnt always work. Ive witnessed my sister on countless occasions explaining it just how you said and still they carry on! Its very wearing for the adult, hence my sympathy for this particular scenario.

being a parent is very often hard work and children can often be tiresome.

But you do have to keep on keeping on.

Otherwise the child ends up a bit of a brat and very unhappy. Other children tend to be far less forgiving of antisocial behavior than adults.

Totally disagree with the assumption of that behaviour may be comming from her "brightness". Her only "brightness" for this matter comes from discovering her own mother can't deal with her lousy behavoiur.

Leave her to act like that for another 12 years and you will see a world where nobody think that girl is any brighter than a cobblestone.

Never seen any correlation between brightness and rudeness

If a child is beeing cheeky to you talk to them like they are much younger (run along and play theres a good girl kinda thing) They hate it.

I never take on other kids parents though (too scary)

Tenalady. If it had been my child, I would have apologised first, I would then have made my child apologise to both other child and mother. If she refused to apologise and threw tantrum she would have been marched out the door and home, and probably with a sore backside (please, please, please don't get into a smacking debate, I've had enough of them). Of course that is dependent on me knowing exactly what had happened and this is where I failed because I didn't explain that to the woman fully. Perhaps she would have been horrified and done what I'd have done.

I know how tiring it can be to stay on top of discipline but if you don't you create a rod for your own back.

If I put on my judgemental hat I'd say that the child got away with murder mostly and picked up her attitude and vocabulary from her mother.

Poor ites ounds abit desperate for attention, no matter how it is obtained

Not sure my definition of cheeky involves smacking other kids btw

Message withdrawn