Help. 9 month old eats well, but shouts while being spoon fed

[nervousFTM]

I'm actually sitting here with in-ear headphones in while feeding her as she's giving me a huge headache. She eats very well but when being spoon fed, 90% of the time she shouts her way through the meal - she's quiet when taking a spoon then just yells. She's quieter when self feeding but I'm nervous with finger foods so she needs purées too. I know she likes the food as she cleans the bowl but desperately seeking advice on why this may be happening!

I’m following as my 9 month old does exactly the same! I have a 5 year old boy and he never did that as a baby! She seems to be a bit more keen to do it herself where he would be happily spoon fed... (still would if he could!) That could be the cause of the shouting!? We have done a few finger foods but she gags an awful lot so I’m going steady with those, as there is only so much gagging my nerves can take. Even though I knows it’s normal, I can’t help but feel terrified!

It's normal I'm afraid, she's showing that she's the independent type. There is really no need for you to both be upset by forcing her to have purée! In fact there are a lot of arguments for actively avoiding purée for all babies.

There was a good thread on this recently, the OP of that thread had a slightly younger baby but it should still be helpful: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3624092-Help-DD-wont-eat-off-a-spoon

can't you do both?...give her a spoon, let her get in amongst it with her spoon and her hands, and just shovel in the odd spoonful to save all the shouting

Just give her finger foods!

Oh dear I have created a mini me 😂 thank you for your replies ladies. Yes she LOVES feeding herself but she's my precious first born and likely only child (I'm 39) and I sweat every time she feeds herself something that's not a specific baby food like a melty puff etc. Gave her cucumber once and she just shoves the whole thing in her mouth without realising she needs to bite 😫

I've noticed the start of her top teeth poking out (bottom two are up and out) so hopefully this might mean she finally explores what they can do.

What are the safest finger foods? Conflicting advice on the net.

X

@MsMightyTitanAndHerTroubadours good plan - I have started to give her the bowl and spoon for the last 2-3 spoonfuls and she is quiet as a mouse getting involved in that. Never thought to give her the odd spoon during her meal in case she shouts when I take it back - perhaps we can each hold a spoon! I want to continue with mushed food (not quite purées, it's all pretty chunky stuff now) as well because of nutrition etc but I am giving her the chance to self feed daily but usually with a melty puff/etc.

Sounds like she wants to feed herself! Meals like pasta are great finger food - just a bit messy but easy to pick up and soft for gums. We liked savoury muffins, porridge fingers and fritters too for easy things for a freezer stash.

If she's 9 months she can be gnawing on loads of food. Listen to her,she's telling you she wants to do it herself

Give her a spoon and let her get stuck in,give her a huge piece of cucumber she can just suck/ gnaw on,piece of bread? Have a look at the Annabel Karmel book for ideas.

@LoafofSellotape thanks :) have the AK book and just got the app so will force myself to be more brave with her self feeding!

@MmeBufo link is great thanks so much x

At 8 months dd refused to be spoon fed and shouted at me if I tried. Shes had finger food ever since without choking. I would give up on the purees personally.

Make her pureed foods more mashed now than pureed or at least leave lumps.

@Bubbean hope this thread helps you too... we have independent ladies on our hands it seems

She really doesn't need pureed food. Bite the bullet OP and let her feed herself. Babies learn to deal with different textures by trying them.

Make sure you halve grapes and mash bananas - I did a first aid course and the paramedic told us stories of banana getting lodged and them being unable to dislodge it.

@LoafofSellotape banana does worry me despite it being advised as a finger food.

I don't do runny purées anymore, it's all chunky textures eg mashed potato, fish is mashed with a fork, grated cheese etc. My issue with finger foods lies in the fact that dd doesn't seem to know when to stop shovelling it in her mouth - the other day she put a whole piece of tenderstem broccoli in her mouth and I almost died while waiting for her to swallow it!

Lightly cooked veg fingers (carrot, baby corn, etc)
Toast fingers
Pasta
Fruit sticks/slices or halved grapes, strawberries etc
Cheese
Strips of chicken

Just put a selection on the high chair tray and let them help themselves.

Yes to them having their own spoon too.

How about a first aid course, so that you know what to do if they do choke? Might help you relax.

I did first aid as part of antenatal but my baby was prem (5 weeks) so husband missed that class - he was looking after her! Good idea though, we should do one together. Thanks!

They gag for a reason - like when whole pieces of broccoli won't go down!

That is what teaches them to chew stuff.

This is very useful.

Sometimes you just have to suck it up, baby has got to learn how to eat normal food. You can’t prevent that just because you’re scared of something happening.

I totally get it, I used to have to sit on my hands when dd was eating so I didn’t jump in and rescue her. But the red vs blue should help you to relax slightly and let them get on with it.

images.app.goo.gl/zyyjyfGujZXd4CgG9

When dd was a baby I read up about the differences between gagging and choking and made 100% sure I knew what to do in the event of choking and that gave me the confidence to just let her get on with feeding herself.

Agree with many pp, you need to let her feed herself. It is not a good pattern of behaviour to establish - not letting her go through perfectly normal developmental stages because of your own anxiety.

How will she realise she has to bite if she is never given food that needs to be bitten?!

Don't get fixated on teeth either. Dd1 had no teeth til 14months. She was doing baby led weaning (so no spoons, no purée) from six months. She could & would eat everything. Dd2 is getting a mixture of mostly blw and some spoonfeeding due to the need to fit her feeds round her sister's school day. No teeth yet at 8 months so I'm expecting the same thing.

DD used to do this. Eventually I realised that if I gave her two spoons and then fed her with a third she was much happier.

She also didn't really like me watching her while she ate and would throw things at me while shouting. I used to have to pretend to be busy nearby and then she would quite happily feed herself finger foods.

She's 11 and eats very well now so you'll be fine!

She should be feeding herself and sounds like a potential BLW! Go with the flow, creating stressful mealtimes isn't ideal