I'm driving myself insane. I'm 35 and my husband is 46 (47 soon). He says IF we are going to have a baby we need to do it soon. I've not exactly had the smoothest of lives. I've been troubled all my life and recently discovered i have ASD and ADHD and I think that's why I've struggled so much with life. I also have m.e and anxiety. I've always had a phobia of anything to do with pregnancy and I also have very low self esteem and worry a lot. I feel I have a lot of love to give but lack confidence in my ability to be a good mum. I struggle so much with simple things others can just do, I do not know how I could possibly do it. My husband would be brilliant but with him being older and working full time a lot of it would be down to me. I am only recently trying to be more independent from my own mum who I have dependency issues with but she is moving away so I need to not only learn to cope without her but I would also not have her around to help with a baby. My husband will be ok with or without us having a baby. His main worry is if I could cope (which doesn't feel good knowing he doesn't fully believe I could do it) and financially we have recently lost all our savings as my husband trusted someone he shouldn't so I've been very very upset about that and that obviously is worrying me as we now are living with no back up savings and we haven't the time to wait until we are more financially recovered from this disaster. How do I make this huge decision? Or how do I come to terms with never having a baby because I feel it will really upset me because I feel if we don't it's because I'm rubbish at life 🙁 Thanks in advance for any advice. I do know it would be the hardest thing I've ever done and it will either break me or shape me into a better person and force me to grow up and get my shit together!