Am I ridiculous for still cutting up my 1 year olds food into tiny peices

[Mamasmadhouseash]

I seriously have a fear of choking like it is literally my worst fear i have nightmares about it! Dinnertime always makes me anxious. People laugh at me because my babe is now 1 but i still cut her food tiny. I cut her toast into tiny mosaic sized squares, ive never let her have a whole chip to feed herself i even cut her spaghetti until it resembles rice! I let her feed herself wotsits but im terrified to let her try raisins and berries etc. Also my mum says she should be eating a whole fish fingers and chips but i just know she will stuff the whole lot in. My 4 year old still chokes when he eats because he rushes. But everyone says its my fault and ive made the kids this way and made them afraid to eat or they dont know how to eat properly because I never let them. Please share your views!

They need to learn how to eat whole pieces of food. You are really holding back their development by cutting their food so tiny. Others better informed can probably advise you but I think they need to be able to bite and chew to exercise and develop the muscles in their mouth. You need to get some support on overcoming this worry.

Could you go on a health and safety course to calm your nerves.I understand it's difficult but it is your fault they are now like this and now you just need to let go of the reins...tbh I've never enjoyed food properly when it's cut up small so they might start being better in general with food.

I'll try and be gentle but yes, you maybe are making it more likely for them to choke. I have zero anxiety about choking clearly as did full baby led weaning, think chicken drumstick aged 7 months.

Anyway. Young babies actually have their gag reflex triggered further forward in their mouths than older children or adults. So when a baby gags the food is actually quite a way from their airway. They have to learn to deal with food of different sizes and textures before the gag reflex becomes further back.

Have you had first aid training? Maybe that would help? I have and the only life I've saved from choking was an adult ( my dh)

I was and am still like this.

DS was a totally different kid to wean as opposed to DD. He didn't really eat proper solid food till he was 2.5! Just used to gag and spit it out. Not fun. Dd was the opposite, wolfing down pieces etc.

And I don't accept the gag argument, yes kids have a gag reflex but I don't need to see it in action.

I still cut food up small for the kids now (2 and 5)

I agree with PP about getting some child-based first aid training for choking. You will likely never ever need to use it but having that knowledge will help to ease your anxiety.

I would say the fact that your 4 year old still gags is probably more to do with you being like that than him shoving food in too fast. Or at least maybe a bit of both.

I get it though we all have our 'thing' that we are a bit overprotective with.

I agree with PP's that a first aid course might help so you'd know what to do if, god forbid, there ever was an emergency.

Gagging isn’t choking. Definitely take a paediatrician first aid course so you know what to do, god forbid, in the event of actual choking. Obviously cut up stuff like grapes that does present a genuine choking hazard but I think it’s mad to not let a 1YO eat a chip or spaghetti. You shouldn’t be passing your anxieties down to your children and they do need to learn to eat properly and chew food!

It’s actually much more likely that a child will choke on little cut up pieces than a big piece. The wind pipe is more about the size of a pea than a chip. So little tiny pieces of food get stuck more easily but they are also harder to control with the tongue. So it’s definitely safer to offer big pieces of food.

Both of mine have only ever eaten normal sized foods from 6 months (eldest is 6). They’ve never choked and neither ever really gagged after maybe the first week or so?

Chip shaped soft food (not too soft) is far less of a choking hazard than tiny pieces,

You need to move on from the mosaic of toast. My 10 month old just has it cut in 4 and is fine.

Is your dc 1yo as in 12 months or 1yo as in close to 24 months?
At 12 months, I can see why you would be cutting things out fir them. At 20 months not do much.

I do think there are foods to be more careful about (e.g. Grapes and tomatoes). Spaguetyi not so much (bar the fact they will go everywhere 😁😁)

Go on a decent paediatric first aid course where you will learn the difference between gagging (pretty normal, nothing to worry about) and proper choking (and how to help if it occurs).

Small pieces do often present more of a risk than decent sized pieces that they learn to chew properly. So you are actually not helping the situation as you think you are.

has she ever had to take a bite of food or have they always been bite sized?

she needs to learn what fits and when she needs to bite a smaller portion.

You really need to stop doing this. A child needs to learn how to take appropriate sized bites. Cutting everything up so small might actually INCREASE their odds of choking because they will stuff their mouth with too many pieces. All you need to do is supervise your child whilst eating and she will be fine.

@ComeAndDance she turned 12 months a few weeks ago so shes literally just one

@Di11y she has had a whole mini pizza once , the tiny circle party sized ones. She just sort of sucked it and made it mushy but i was nervous as hell and my heart was racing 😫 I do hate being like this , im going to change the toast tomorow.

First aid course - so that you have confidence that if she chokes you'll know what to do.
But she has to learn how to control food and chew, and smaller pieces are harder to control.

Another vote for the children's first aid course. You'll not get over this fear easily if that is your aim. It'll take hard work and a lot of sitting on your hands whilst your LO gobbles on a stick of carrot or bit of pitta bread!

Sorry, but I stopped doing this with my son a long time ago, however, he recently choked on some meat that I hadn’t chopped up for him. We couldn’t get it to come out and fortunately my husband managed to bring it up in the end. My point is, whatever age , think SIT, CHOP, CHEW. Foods which children are likely to choke on, such as meat, spaghetti, grapes etc need to be chopped up for small children. Just maybe teach them to do it themselves.

OP you need to start trusting her to eat or it really will be more likely she chokes. When she goes to nursery they're not going to shred everything for her.
Go on a first aid course, then if she chokes you'll know what to do. If it makes you feel any better my DS choked on some ham (he was 14 mos). I'm fully first aid trained and he brought it up. After a little cry (I'd had to hit him quite hard) he went straight back to his cheese and crackers (I took the ham away). He's fine. I'm fine.

By cutting it that small you’re making it more likely she’ll choke not less.

My 4 year old still chokes when he eats because he rushes.

I doubt he “chokes”. More likely he just gags. It’s not the same thing.

@MrsMiggins37 yes he chokes, last week he scrabbling at his throat , panicked eyes because he couldnt breathe , he was eating a chicken drumstick and a huge bit and the skin was stuck in his throat. I know the difference.

If that’s true, it shows you how you’ve been teaching them to feed themselves has done them no favours.

I too have a fear of choking and I am a nurse whilst qualifications in choking. It hasn't made my fear any less. I don't think it was ever an issue with my eldest who is now 8 but my youngest who is 4 used to gag all the time.

I feel on edge when they get served food in restaurants etc that I can't get to it quick enough to cut up.

We don't have grapes or marshmallows (hideous experience at work where a child died) in our house and avoid them at all costs when out!

I feel for you OP. I've half thought about some kind of treatment to help with my fear. Maybe look into that?