How do you get anything done?

[dextersmama]

I literally have no idea how anyone gets anything done with a baby.

My son is 10 weeks old and I barely have time to eat let alone pee or shower.

How do people get things done?

If I'm not breastfeeding, I'm changing him or settling him to sleep or entertaining him.

He won't sleep in his cot during the day so when he naps I'm glued to the sofa. I used to bring his Moses basket downstairs during the day and he'd sleep and I could at least do some washing up or a small chore but he's grown out of it and is in a side sleeper in our bedroom.

I feel utterly useless around the house.
I'm exhausted because he won't go down to nap, so I can't nap.

I've tried slings and carriers to get things done but he just screams when his in them.

@dextersmama short answer - nothing gets done ha. I have a 14 week old who is currently going through a stage of refusing naps.

If I'm out it's not too bad because he sleeps within minutes of being in the car or pram so I try and go out every day and then a) the house stays clean because no ones in it and b) I just deal with the house once my partners back or my baby goes to bed at 7pm.

Today is hard because we're going on holiday on Sunday so I've got loads to do. I keep putting him in his bouncer chair and admitting defeat by putting the tv on.

Yes that might make me a terrible parent by some people's standards but it's only for 10 mins here and there so I can empty the washer / put more clothes in / do the dishwasher put washing away etc

Sometimes you've just gotta do whatever works at that moment in time

You get it done when you used to in the after work hours when your partner is home (assuming you have a partner). It does get easier eventually when they are happier to have some floor time. But otherwise you do exactly what you are doing, then dishes, cooking, washing clothes get done in the early morning or late afternoon/early evening when your partner can relieve you. Or on the weekends. And you do your best to not make too much of a mess and tidy as you go (much easier if you only have one non-mobile baby, harder with older dc).

You put them in bouncer /pram/ travel cot and go and pee/wash/potter

He's very, very young and will outgrow this. Honestly. Things can only get better.

I wouldn't worry too much about 'getting things done'; if you mean housework, leave it or get someone in once a fortnight. Having a shower doesn't take long and your baby must sleep sometimes. Or else hand him over to your partner in the evening and do it then.

(I hope you have a partner and that he is helpful.)

Babies are hard work but it doesn't last forever.

I don't remember doing much entertaining at that stage - I might have waved a toy at him every 10 minutes or so. I used to put mine in the bouncer or under his baby gym or with the TV for a little bit.

I used to get a shower at night when my OH was home. Make a sandwich/leftovers for lunch so you've got something quick to grab when you get 5 minutes. Can you try co-sleeping for naps? We did that a fair bit so we'd both get a nap, plus it's lovely. Getting out and about is good, mine couldn't resist the sleepy lure of a nice long walk!

I could have written this at your stage, nothing got done until DH got home to help. It has got slowly easier to do things with them around and my standards of house cleanliness and personal grooming have reduced significantly!

Can you breastfeed in the side-lying position? I used to do this and then either slept when DS nodded off or I gradually mastered the art of the roll-away so that I could make a cuppa/go to the loo or whatever. It will get easier -10 weeks is tiny and they are hard work!

First ten weeks?

No time to do nuthin my friend

At ten weeks you do not need to do anything except snuggle the baby!

Can you co-sleep with him to get a nap?

I would get DH (or helpful daily visitor) to make you up some plates of sandwiches to eat throughout the day and bottles of water all over the house. Also buy little tempting one-handed snacky bits, like mini scotch eggs, mini pork pies, sausage rolls. Summer fruit, cut up cucumber, cherry tomatoes etc. Biscuits. Crisps or those little chip stick things. Things you can grab in a second from the fridge/cupboard and require no prep and make very little mess if any.

It is OK to put him down in the Moses basket even if he cries while you go for a wee, wash your hands and grab a snack or a drink fill up. At least you know he is safe there and can't roll out etc. He would also be OK if you leave him there for ten minutes while you get a shower, though I understand this might be harder emotionally to do, and you might prefer not to. In that case you could shower when somebody else is around to hold him?

It gets easier Once they can sit up they become a bit better at entertaining themselves for a bit.

There were stages with my DD. First few weeks she slept a lot so I did this kind of stuff when she was asleep. Then during the nap fighting stage I used to have to do it all one-handed. After that came the much-missed bouncy chair stage, where she would happily sit in a bouncy chair for AGES so long as I moved it room to room with me, and was napping every 90 mins or so for half an hour.

Now she’s nearly 7 months she can sit unaided and thus in theory entertain herself for a while with her toys....however she whines every two minutes for new toys/fresh entertainment/to tell me that she’s annoyed that she can’t move herself yet. And she only takes three half hour naps a day 😩

What I’m trying to say is don’t worry, this stage will end and you’ll have a couple of weeks of peace before the next hard work part starts.

I always thought my house would be the cleanest it had ever been when on maternity leave but truthfully, it's just groundhog day of bottle, nappy, play, sleep. Luckily dd will sleep in her moses basket or pram so I get stuff done then.

Loves her playmat too so I will stick her on that whilst I do jobs and terrible I know but swing in front of teletubbies gives me a bit of a reprieve at times and often rocks her off to sleep.

Put baby in bed with you. Feed baby, nap together.

Sling?

The main thing is to adjust your expectations and accept that looking after the baby is the main thing you need to get done at this stage. Most other things can wait till your partner is home.

Not much advice other than it is okay for DS to cry a bit sometimes as you have to attend to your own needs. You need to eat and wash too, you are as important as he is. As someone with anxiety/OCD I found it very hard to ‘adjust’ my expectations when DS was born and got very frustrated with people telling me too so I found a bouncy chair he liked and he comes room to room with me so I can do stuff.

I either feed DS to sleep on our bed or feed to sleep, pop him in the pram and rock back to sleep. I can then either rest or do something. DS is 16 weeks and starting to hold things which helps entertain him.

Oh this stage is SO hard OP, don't beat yourself up. It gets so much easier, I promise. Try really hard not to get too stressed about housework etc - it won't be this way forever.

My DD hated the sling as well and every time someone suggested it I could have cheerfully strangled them! The BabyBjorn bouncy chair was a lifesaver for me - DD learnt how to bounce it herself very quickly and LOVED it - so long as I was chatting to her she'd give me 20 minutes to pop a load of washing on and empty the dishwasher. Once she could sit up in her high chair she'd stay there with a few toys for quite a while, and she was happy in her jumperoo for ages. She napped on me for the first year so I never really got time to do anything substantial, but the odd 20-30 minutes here and there while she bounced made it much easier.

Also, it IS okay to leave them crying for a little bit to take care of yourself - you're not doing eternal damage.

Peppa pig.

My son loved this very early. Bought me the odd 5 mins. I found at 3 months things got a lot easier even if it was that he could support himself better so I could do small jobs one handed while holding him. He'd sit in his bouncer for ten mins and watch peppa. If you have visitors ask if they mind if you just nip and put the dishwasher on etc.

Do anything that makes your life easier. If you can afford it, get more baby clothes so you can do laundry less often, cleaner, ready meals or slow cooker etc.

Just put him in his cot and do what you need to do. He will cry but its not going to harm him . I put my children in cots if i needed to do something or just time out . They were fine and no problems. Some babys do cry more the others my girl was a very clingy baby and was very demanding would scream at me even if i moved my arm slightly while feeding. Also just do the minimum housework as you will be tired in the first few months.

If you are BF then you need plenty of rest OP!.Heard recently its the equivilent of a 7 mile walk!.Sleep when baby sleeps ,have some quick food, or a couple of take outs (not curry obviously!).The house wont fall apart ,and you will feel better if you relax!(My SIL used to watch her cats feed and sleep only!).Ask hubby to hoover up ,and just do essentials /washing/washing up etc) Shop online and just chill and enjoy this time(Goes so fast )yes really!

With my first baby at this age I used to stick her in the bouncy chair in the bathroom when I showered in the morning. She would cry for a minute or two then fall asleep. I hated her crying but it did help get her into a habit of napping outside my arms.

Charlie's Colourform City on Netflix.

Hi I'm taking it you're a first time mum? I have 3 boys the youngest is 4 months..my best advice if baby is anything like my youngest is keep in eyeline. I put him in carseat (he hates bouncers playmats etc) in the kitchen either worktop or washer (he loves the round round) and if he whines I just pop up with a peekaboo or something. I do feel your pain though and I've mainly given up on a deep clean

Oh and I make DH take him to his mams for a couple of hours once a week so I do all the major tasks