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Original poster

Survey for all sahm of more than one child..............

122 replies

stressteddy · 22/07/2007 21:59

  1. How many children do you have?
2. Do you live near family who would have your dc's or who you can pop in on? 3.Do you have any time alone during the week at all?

Just being nosey as am trying to make decisions about having more children
Thanks!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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Miaou · 23/07/2007 14:07
  1. How many children do you have? 3 (nearly 4 )
2. Do you live near family who would have your dc's or who you can pop in on? No - nearly 200 miles away from nearest relatives 3.Do you have any time alone during the week at all? No - ds isn't yet two, and dh is at home all day too. Occasionally I get a yen to have some time to myself, but generally I'm quite contented. 4. Would you do it all again? Oh yes definitely!! I think I am quite lucky to have my life
Sidge · 23/07/2007 14:16
  1. How many children do you have? 3, aged 8.5, 3.5 and 10 mths
  1. Do you live near family who would have your dc's or who you can pop in on? Nope, and DH is in the Navy so away a lot. Have some lovely friends I try and see regularly for a cup of tea though to get me out of the house.

3.Do you have any time alone during the week at all? No, but when DH is home I go to the gym in the evenings when the children are in bed.

Would I do it again? Maybe, but it's theoretical as DH has been snipped!

SpawnHorcrux · 23/07/2007 14:20
  1. 2: DD is 2.6 and DS is 10 months
2. no 3. no 4. very difficult to answer. There are lots of times at the moment when I think I've bitten off way more than I can chew, BUT I think it's going to get easier (prob when DS is about 2ish). We would love to have another two, and (in so far as you can plan these things) I'd have a bigger age gap next time.

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agalch · 23/07/2007 14:24
  1. i have 4 (15,11,3 and nearly 1)
2. mum and dad few miles away,will look after dc if asked but never ever offer to do so. 3. get to the gym in the evening and dh has dc 4. would have had more but dh had the snip last December.
tassisssss · 23/07/2007 14:24
  1. 2 (4 years and 10 months)

  1. Brother and SIL nearby and are great...don't pop in on them all that often, but they will have LOs for us. They now have 2 of their own though so wouldn't leave them with both of ours unless it was for something important. I really wish we had grandparents (or equivalent) who'd take our 2 so we could have some time off!

  2. Thankfully both go to bed at 7pm so evenings alone! ds has nursery for 2.5 hours each day in term time...dd often sleeps during this time. think this is the key thing about being a SAHM - no time alone. I really miss this atm with ds not being at nursery.

  3. yes...but i'd like ds to be in school before I have another, think 3 pre-schoolers would be too much for me!

ProfYaffle · 23/07/2007 14:28
  1. dd1 3.3, dd2 21 weeks.
2. PIL about an hour's drive away. They will have dd1 for one off special events but not on a regular basis. 3. No, but dd1 goes to nursery and dd2 is little enough for it to feel like I'm alone iyswim 4. I love my life, wouldn't have another dc though, we only ever planned on having 2.
mankyscotslass · 23/07/2007 14:29
  1. 3
2. MIL would have kids in an emergency, and has offered to take the youngest two to playgroup once a week in the new school year. Would never dream of dropping in on her ...the don't do dropping in! No other family close by. 3. Nope, not even peed on my own in 5 1/2 years. Will be better once youngest at preschool 2 mornings a week in 18 mths time. 4. Yes, I always wanted to be there for my kids while they were small, it was important for me.

TBH, it is hard work, and the house is a tip cos I don't do much house work, but like DH says, if we were paying someoone to be with the children we would not expect them to be doing their housework whiel they had them!I do miss adult company somtimes, but I have a growing circle of friends in the same position as me so that helps

fizzylemonade · 23/07/2007 14:30
  1. 2 boys aged 4 (about to start school in Sept) and 14 months (loved this age with DS1 so planned and got a 3 year age gap knowing that DS1 would be in school and I would have this one on one time with DS2)

  1. No, over 1 hour away but good friends made whilst DS1 went to preschool and met other mums there

  2. I wish but hopefully when DS1 goes to school the nap times of DS2 will mean I have time alone but with him asleep upstairs. I do have an amazing DH (sorry) who is fantastic with the boys, takes over when I need it after a long slog at work, happy to bath them and put them to bed, also does housework I KNOW I am incredibly lucky.

  3. I would do it all again, although I didn't choose to have a baby when I did, I was persuaded by gynae following surgery to try for a baby as it would "take at least 6-12 months to get pregnant and you may need IVF" imagine my shock when 2 weeks later I was pregnant. So although I honestly didn't expect to get pregnant even though we were trying I wouldn't change what happened.

GreatGooglyMoogly · 23/07/2007 14:30
  1. Two
2. No 3. Only naptime (-well they are asleep at least!), and from September I will have two mornings when they both are at preschool 4. Yes
GreatGooglyMoogly · 23/07/2007 14:32

Oh, you mean have another? DH would because he doesn't have to look after them; I am still undecided!

SpookyMadMummy · 23/07/2007 14:50
  1. 2 dd's
2. No 3. rarely 4. yes
serenity · 23/07/2007 15:02

I'm a bit out of date as my eldest two are at school now, and DD starts Nursery in September, but I had both DS1 and 2 home together and then DS2 and DD for a while.

  1. How many children do you have? 3
  2. Do you live near family who would have your dc's or who you can pop in on? No, my Mum and my MIL both work, however I do have friends who are SAHM or CMs so there are people I can visit although not leave the DCs with (unless it's an emergancy or for a very short period of time)

3.Do you have any time alone during the week at all?

No, (unless you count the 20 minutes to work in the evenings, and I do, I love them ) I'm really looking forward to September when I have my mornings back, but still have DD in the afternoon.

  1. Would you do it all again?

As in having 3 Dcs and the gaps etc? Then yes. Ok so I've had 9.5 years of pretty much constant DC responsibility but it's been worth it.

Original poster
stressteddy · 23/07/2007 15:02

Oh, I'm so glad more have you have come over. Thank you
I find all of your situations absolutely fascinating. I have to say though that on the whole it all sounds knackering!!
Still very undecided about more dc's but I am so interested in all of your views. It really is good to get other perpectives
Thank you all
x

OP posts:
thebigSea · 23/07/2007 15:06

1] 3
2] they are 1/2 hour away but can and do come over if needed, also have lots of friends close by
3] during nap time and in the evenings as dp works away all week
4] yes, am expecting no4 soon but no more then.

serenity · 23/07/2007 15:07

re question2, I've answered it for the daytime, but if you mean generally then we're quite lucky. My MIL will DCsit if we really needed here to (but it's difficult so we don't use her unless we have to) and my DSis is always happy to sit with them (she's single and enjoys their company) We don't go out that much though, as being essentially SAHM and having 3Dcs doesn't leave much spare cash for going out

Celery · 23/07/2007 15:19

  1. 3

  2. no

  3. only in the evening

  4. I don't regret any of my children, but I might have stuck at 2 had I known.

Original poster
stressteddy · 23/07/2007 15:21

celery - had you known what?? [nosey emoticon]

OP posts:
mytwopenceworth · 23/07/2007 15:22
  1. 2
2. yes live near them, no they would not have them 3. yes. when they are at school. and after they are (finally) asleep 4. yes. twice over. except when they are driving me really crazy, then I'd have to think about it for a minute
Troutpout · 23/07/2007 15:24
  1. How many children do you have?
2
  1. Do you live near family who would have your dc's or who you can pop in on? No

3.Do you have any time alone during the week at all?
i have 2 and a half hours 4 times a week when dd goes to pre-school

  1. Would you do it all again? Yes
hellish · 23/07/2007 15:24
  1. 2 dds 7 and 5
2. no 3. yes 2.5 hours every day when dd2 is in Kindergarten (I'm in Canada)termtime.
  1. Yes, absolutely, starting to think I would have liked more children but I think I'll have to get a job instead when youngest goes to school full time (sep 2008. Have loved being sahm, so glad I had the choice.
tuppy · 23/07/2007 15:27

4 children, 3.5, 8, 12 and 13.

no paid help with them but 2-3 times per year I ask sil (or she offers it) an afternoon at weekends to allow mw to go for a swim, go somewhere without the youngest 2. I also sometimes go to the gym or out cycling alone on weekend mornings while dh makes them a cooked breakfast.

My other time alone is trem time while ds3 is at morning playgroup.

Would do it all again but am NOT planning any more. Looking forward to the next stage of my life now. Am planning to write children's books, plus I run a small Amazon business from home; at the moment it's very low key but I will have more time for it from the Autumn.

cleaninglady · 23/07/2007 15:29
  1. 2
2. No 3. 1 morning when ds in preschool(dd at school) 4. Its school holidays dd is 5 1/2 ds is nearly 3 - erm let me think.......NO NO NO NO
indiasmum · 23/07/2007 15:43
  1. 3
2. yes 3. no 4. yes
ballybally · 23/07/2007 16:38
  1. How many children do you have?
3- DS six years, DD 4 years, DD 15 months
  1. Do you live near family who would have your dc's or who you can pop in on? No, they're the other side of the country completely.

3.Do you have any time alone during the week at all?
Hubby provides standing offer of 2 hours babysitting whenever I want it. I don't need it as often as I thought, but it's nice knowing I could. Will have steady time alone with youngest once school starts, which am looking forward too as DD is a doll

I'd do it again in a heartbeat, and would love to have more keeping to the same general spacing. The trick is to let them do every chore they are capable of. The two eldest do most tidying, youngest can bring me nappies and put away toys. DS can set and clear the table, and I'm starting him on laundry come August

NAB3 · 23/07/2007 16:46
  1. How many children do you have? 3
2. Do you live near family who would have your dc's or who you can pop in on? 20 mins from ILs. No other family. 3.Do you have any time alone during the week at all? None alone.

I really don't think this is the way to decide whether to have another child or not!!!