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Original poster

Photos of your baby on social media

28 replies

Helenj1977 · 29/05/2019 11:11

I post photos of my children on social media but limit who can see them.

I don't want others posting photos of them. I asked my cousin in law to remove a photo last week of my baby. We've had the conversation several times.

We've got a wedding next month and I don't want photos of them online. They all know I dont like it so what do I do??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Mandala6 · 29/05/2019 11:13

Maybe don't let your children be in photos taken by others, just get a few nice ones on your own camera?
If that's unavoidable you'll probably just have to stick to asking for any of your kids to be taken down if they get posted

ItsSetInStone · 29/05/2019 11:15

Weddings are tough! You have options, none of them great:

"Please don't post photos of my baby"
"Please obsure my babys face" I've seen a friend on FB put smiley emojis on her DSs friends faces at bday parties
"I'm gonna step out of this photo as I don't want baby on SM/Don't take my babies photo if you cant keep it off SM"

I totally agree with you about baby photos on FB but unlike you, I don't post them myself which I think may make it more difficult for you (although it shouldn't, it's your baby, your choice!)

happyhillock · 29/05/2019 11:17

My daughter's never put there children on social media if there at a function and there's picture's taken they ask for thete children not to be posted on social media, they feel it's up to them when there older if they want to be on social media.

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Original poster

Helenj1977 · 29/05/2019 11:24

Thank you. I have thought about her not being the photos but I know dp will take her. I'll keep up with asking them to remove them... Just annoying as they all know I feel.

OP posts:

cathf · 29/05/2019 11:27

Why?

SimonJT · 29/05/2019 11:33

I never put pictures of my son on social media unless it is from behind etc. Generally everyone is good about not posting pictures of him, but when we went to a wedding in August there were people I didn’t know obviously, so the groom informed guests not to post pictures of the little boy with an orange bow tie (it was very bright!) and worked for us.

mindutopia · 29/05/2019 11:51

I think if you don't want photos on social media, then it's your and your dp's responsibility to not have her in obviously posed photos. It isn't fair to people who are spending lots of money to have nice photos taken that they'd like to share with others and then have to take them all down because you opted to have your child in them. If you and your dp can't agree on that, then it's between the two of you to work out and come up with a solution.

cathf · 29/05/2019 12:09

Sorry I did not mean to sound so blunt, I posted too soon.
I am interested to know what the actual problem is?
Over the years I have spoken to lots of people who have banned their children's photos from social media but they have always struggled to explain the reasoning behind it.
So I have drawn my own conclusions that most of the time it's either attention-seeking or a control thing

Original poster

Helenj1977 · 29/05/2019 19:33

It's a personal thing. I wouldn't invite people I don't know into my home to look at photos so I don't want them seeing them online. I'd never share photos of other peoples kids.

OP posts:

magicBrenda · 29/05/2019 19:40

Don’t take her.

Honestly you will look like an arse if you start demanding no one puts pics up that she might be in. No one is there for your kid - they will all be looking at the bride, get over yourself.

If you get tagged in any she is on, just un tag your self. In a few months she will look different anyway. She will just be another baby in the crowd.

Or you could cover her face with a cloth like Micheal Jackson used to do with his...,

managedmis · 29/05/2019 19:43

Cathf

Photos can be photoshopped to look like your kid's head is on another body - I'll start with that.

magicBrenda · 29/05/2019 19:49

Or if your little one manages to photo bomb a photo ( because obviously you’d be doing your best to avoid pictures) you could just ask them to scrub baby’s face out in picture rather than insisting they delete or take the picture down.

cathf · 29/05/2019 19:50

And you could be knocked down by a car next time you go out.
Seriously, what is the liklihood of that happening, managedmis?

Contraceptionismyfriend · 29/05/2019 19:54

If she is in group wedding photos then you can't ask to take them off social media. That's ridiculous.

And if she's in the background of photos taken of others again it would be ridiculous to ask for them to be taken down.

If this is such a big issue for you I'd not take her to the wedding.

cathf · 29/05/2019 19:57

Honestly this type of behavior just reeks of virtue-signalling of what a fantastic parent you are.
Would you seriously expect someone not to put their WEDDING PHOTOS on sm just because your PFB might be seen?
You are mad.

Wildorchidz · 29/05/2019 20:02

So I have drawn my own conclusions that most of the time it's either attention-seeking or a control thing

Would you not think that maybe people are mindful of their child’s right to privacy; their child’s right not to have photos put on social media without their consent: their child’s right not to have a digital footprint until they are old enough to decide for themselves when they reach an age where they understand what they are doing...

SteamSoup · 29/05/2019 20:08

@cathf, I don't post pictures of my children on sm for the exact reasons @Wildorchidz has outlined. Several people I know do the same. Perhaps you havent been listening /grasping what people have told you when you asked.

Lazypuppy · 29/05/2019 20:11

People are probably confused that you put pictures up, mostbwould see that as green light you are happy for pictures to be on social media.

Honestly, don't take her if you're that worried- 99%of the weddings photos will be going on social media

Maryann1975 · 29/05/2019 20:14

One of the families in our group of friends asked us all to refrain from putting photos of their children on social media. We all did as they asked, even though I don’t really get the issue. By the time the children were about 5 and 3 the parents were posting photos all the time, including ones of the children when they are poorly, when they’ve been told off, generally crap photos. The children are now 9 and 7 and hate that their parents post those kind of moments for everyone to see, so please don’t be twats about it in the future. If you make a massive fuss about no photos now, please don’t change so far the other way in the future. I also don’t get why it’s ok for you to post photos of them but not others though, I think that will confuse people in the long run. Also to add, anyone random person could take a photo of your child while you are out, shopping, at the park etc, you wouldn’t even know and they could do what they wanted with that image (so I think that managedmis argument out of the window-I’m sure criminals don’t only stalk social media for their images).

As for photos at the wedding, I think you have to take responsibility to take your child out of all photos, including official ones as it’s not fair to the bride and groom that they are paying for photos that they can’t do what they want with. Also, if others are taking photos you have to be proactive and remove your child from view. You can’t expect others to remember your wishes.

IrishMamaMia · 29/05/2019 20:17

I've done this since my little one was born, just asked people to take them down (it was the same two people who post everything) if he's recognisable. Not really bothered if a group pic or he's in the background. People know better. I also don't post photos of other people's children.
I very occasionally post a photo of my LO, if it's my own special occasion but it's very seldom.
Don't have a problem with people sharing photos of their own kids. Their children, their decision.

Bringonspring · 29/05/2019 20:18

I think it’s difficult to control and I really wouldn’t bother the happy couple of the day (especially if you put photos on social media (albeit to a smaller audience). If their added but then not attributed to you etc it won’t matter

The only time I’ve said no is when a children’s entertainment company put photos of my children on their website (was uncomfortable with them promoting a business I had no influence over).

magicBrenda · 29/05/2019 20:23

It’s just a control thing.

Leleophants · 29/05/2019 21:32

I'm also against anything like that being on social media. The amount google knows about your kid is scary. They have no choice about the social imprint they have online from birth and no right to say how they feel having pictures they will not find cute at 25.

I think a lot of kids are going to be very angry with their parents in 20 years... but people can never see past their own generation norms.

It's your choice and all you can do is tell them.

LIZS · 29/05/2019 21:40

Unfortunately the legal right to use the photo in a personal capacity rests with the person taking the picture. You can only limit the commercial use of her image or if there is a safeguarding issue. Otherwise appeal to their better nature or accept her image may be incidental to pictures from the event.

spugzbunny · 29/05/2019 21:49

I understand if people want to keep their children completely off social media although I do think it's a bit naive. What I don't understand is why you will post pictures but others can't?

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